This story was printed from TODAYonline 
Thursday • August 28, 2008
Dating customs and street demonstrations are part of a major culture shock for young North Korean refugees struggling to adapt to a new life in South Korea, a recent survey shows.
Speeding traffic and skyscrapers are also alien to youngsters arriving in the democratic capitalist South from their impoverished hardline communist state, according to the findings published Thursday by Yonhap news agency.
Coming to terms with an entirely new relationship between the sexes can be daunting.
"Women who participated in the study say they like South Korean men, whom they find considerate compared to their northern counterparts," former refugee Oh Se-Hyek, 31, of the Hankuk University of Foreign Studies, was quoted as saying.
"But North Korean men say they are often appalled by women here who speak out and act according to their own will."
Oh interviewed compatriots in their 20s for his study, which found that young refugees often feel like second-class citizens because they are unfamiliar with South Korean customs.
"Southern women are not very womanlike. North Korean women are calm and keep things to themselves in a graceful way. But women here like to speak their mind and act like men," said one male respondent.
"In the North a man always leads a relationship and he takes total control because of the patriarchal culture," he said, adding that this has a downside with sexual violence in the North often going unpunished.
Women said they welcome the additional freedom in the South but find that some men are less serious about relationships.
"Male students I meet here are mostly considerate. Men in the North try to make women feel inferior," one said.
Another said South Korean men are "not as committed to relationships as they are open to sex. The difference is that North Korean men take responsibility for what they do."
Refugees are baffled by street protests such as the rallies against US beef imports and against President Lee Myung-Bak earlier this summer.
"I was shocked to hear them use invective about the president," said one interviewee. "In the North, that lands you straight in jail." — AFP