Rant & Rave’s Chong Tze Chien rants and raves

SINGAPORE — Missed its first staging back in 2012? You can catch the restaging of Rant & Rave next week. Presented by The Finger Players under The Esplanade’s Studios series, it’s a hilarious history lesson on Singapore theatre and the important issues that arose through the years. Playwright and director Chong Tze Chien dug into a huge range of archival text from newspapers. The performance is brought to life by Janice Koh and Karen Tan (who takes over from Siti Khalijah in the original run) who’ll be doing some hilarious impersonations. Chong revealed that it’s going to be slightly longer, too, “to cover more controversies”. Woot.

But before that, we thought it’d be fun to hear the guy behind R&R do a bit of ranting and raving himself, so we’ve asked him for his personal Top 5 lists.

And for the record, Chong Tze Chien isn’t really the angry man type. “Absolutely not. Not unless you put me in a room full of disgruntled writers who have an option about everything and anything; I would probably raise my voice a little and bitch about whatever is trending to blend in.”

Ouch.

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RANTS…

1. TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY PROFESSION TO TAXI DRIVERS. Because whenever you tell them you are a playwright, they would invariably ask which MediaCorp Channel 5/8 drama did I write and if I know Zoe Tay/Fann Wong/Li Nanxing.

2. SENSOR WATER TAPS IN THEATRE DRESSING ROOMS. As if being denied a constant flow of water to wash off the facial cleanser on your face is not bad enough, the tap sensor would inevitably fail at the precise moment when the facial foam stings my eyes.

3. LATECOMERS TO SHOWS. No matter how much you explain to latecomers that they can’t enter the theatre until an appropriate time in the play, they will insist that they can creep to their seats undetected like stealth fighters in Afghanistan.

4. ILO ILO’S GOLDEN HORSE TRIUMPH. As much as I adore the film and take pride in a homegrown film made good internationally, I am dumbfounded whenever relatives ask me if I would ever get a Golden Horse award for my work. Hello, I work in a completely different discipline and industry, thank you very much.

5. UNSOLICITED EMAIL SURVEYS BY ARTS STUDENTS. Because in their words, as “an esteemed member of the arts industry”, I am “best-suited” to complete the survey form within a stipulated time because they have to meet their deadline “in a week’s time”.

… AND RAVES

1. SINGAPORE INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF ARTS 2014. Three words: The Wooster Group. This New York-based legendary experimental theatre collective, which counts Willem Dafoe as one of its founding members, is finally making its Singapore debut in SIFA! ‘Nuff said.

2. POST-SHOW S$5 BEERS AT THE ESPLANADE WATERFRONT BARS. Sharing a bucket of cheap good beer with a company of artists and friends you would invariably bump into after a show at the Esplanade is all you need to round up the evening.

3. UNOFFICIAL THEATRE REVIEWS ON MY FACEBOOK NEWS FEED. You can always gauge how good or bad an ongoing show is by counting the number of times it has gotten an honourable mention (or not, when it’s noticeably passed over) on your friends’ posts.

4. KENNY LECK OF BOOKSACTUALLY. For working tirelessly at championing local authors and books. If we ever needed a justification to confer a Cultural Medallion on a bookstore owner, BooksActually would make a hell of a case.

5. KAREN TAN AND JANICE KOH. For being two of the most hardworking and dedicated actors in the scene today. As if working round the clock in show after show and being an arts activist in Parliament were not enough, they are full-time mums who make the most aesthetically and gastronomically pleasing lunchboxes for their kids and drive them to and from schools in-between rehearsals. Did I mention that they have cats at home to take care of, too?

Rant & Rave is from May 1 to 4, 8pm, Esplanade Theatre Studio. With a 3pm Saturday matinee. Tickets at S$28 from Sistic. For more information on The Esplanade’s Studios season, visit http://www.thestudios.com.sg