More HK career women marrying mainland Chinese

HONG KONG — After a few failed relationships in her home city of Hong Kong, Ms Doreen Cheung did not expect Cupid to strike when she moved to Shanghai in 2002.

Then a public relations manager in her late 30s, Ms Cheung was attracted by better job opportunities in China’s most Westernised city.

As a “leftover woman” — a term referring to highly educated, well-paid but unmarried Chinese women in their late 20s or older — she felt her chances of meeting someone were slim. “I was almost 40. Age became a big problem. It was already very late and hard for me to find someone suitable,” she said.

However, things changed when she met Mr Chen, who had just returned to Shanghai after working in New Zealand. They fell in love and married two years later.

Back then, it might have been rare for Hong Kong women to look for love on the Chinese mainland. Traditionally, older and poorer Hong Kong men went to China to find younger brides.

However, in recent years, thousands of highly educated Hong Kong women have followed in Ms Cheung’s footsteps. Nearly 7,500 women from Hong Kong married Chinese men in 2013, a three-fold rise from 2003. The number of cross-border marriages registered in the city accounted for 38 per cent of the total in 2013, up from 32 per cent 10 years earlier.

It is not hard to understand why women look for love outside Hong Kong, say marriage brokers and sociologists. The city is a tough marriage market for women because of its skewed gender ratio — 876 males to every 1,000 females, a gap predicted to worsen to 712: 1,000 by 2041.

“Men are in short supply,” said University of Hong Kong’s population policy expert Paul Yip. “And men always like to marry down, women always like to marry up  ... what we will see is an increasing number of women who remain single.”

China’s economic boom — and with it, its growing number of wealthy men — has encouraged women to consider partners from the mainland.

Renowned for being independent and selective, said University of Hong Kong’s sociologist Sandy To, women from the territory tend to favour Chinese bachelors with decent education, particularly haigui or “sea turtles” — Chinese who have studied overseas and returned to China.

More than 400,000 haigui returned to the motherland last year, Chinese government data showed. “They speak fluent English, have a global perspective and cultural sophistication,” she said. “Their background is similar to that of professional Hong Kong women. They would click.”

There may be a political and social benefit to these marriages. Tensions between Hong Kong, anxious to maintain its status as a global metropolis, and mainland China have risen in recent years, most noticeably with last year’s pro-democracy protests.

Such cross-border liaisons are believed to be able to help defuse conflict and enhance mutual understanding between the two sides. “Of course, this (cross-border marriage) brings us closer, said Mr Yip. “What else could happen? They can influence us and we influence them too. We don’t need to be paranoid about this.”

However, Ms Liu Mei Ling, founder of Hong Kong Matchmaker, an elite dating agency, voiced a note of caution. Although China and Hong Kong are geographically close, she warned that “the core values and social mentality are different”.

Some cultural differences may be difficult to overcome. Government data does not include divorces of cross-border couples. “Hong Kong people speak terrible Mandarin and (most) Chinese speak terrible Cantonese,” said Ms Liu. “When you talk about business, you can struggle and manage. When you talk about love, you really need to communicate.”

Said Ms Cheung: “We don’t have a big problem in daily communication.” But her accent still marks her out as a Hong Kong native. “He (my husband) sometimes makes fun of me.”

The Financial Times