Fiona Xie: The comeback queen?

SINGAPORE — With Fiona Xie coming back to television for a Channel 5 drama, everybody wants to know why she has suddenly decided to come out of retirement after seven years. Everybody including Fiona herself. 

When we visited the 34-year-old actress on the set of Left Behind, in which she plays a psychiatrist who helps people in need, she was the same girlish, effervescent self from years ago – except that this former media pro was a bundle of nerves. 

She curled up in a corner of the couch, fidgeting anxiously. “I’m so nervous. It’s my first interview in seven years,” she said. Her eyes lighted on a pile of large coffee table books; she grabbed one and held it to her chest like a shield. 

Her anxiety was sparked from the fact that she herself did not know the precise answer as to why she had decided to come back for a television project. In 2009, she left the entertainment industry suddenly and moved to Hong Kong without an official explanation; now, just as suddenly, she returns with no explanations, either. 

“To be honest, I don’t know how to answer your question. I’ve thought long and hard, and, as people put it, sometimes there is no why,” were her first words. 

But as our chat went on, she seemed to be talking her way through to the answers — answers to her own questions. 

FULL CIRCLE

“I came back to Singapore because of family... to spend more time with my cousin, who’s very ill,” she said. “I know you’re going to ask me where I’ve been these seven years. I was living in Hong Kong, New York, Shanghai, and most recently in Tokyo. I think after being away for so long, there’s a sense of nostalgia. You start to feel like, ‘Where are your roots and where do you really belong?’ At the end of the day, this is where my family is. I have to spend more time here, especially since my parents are getting older.”

Upon her return, Left Behind’s executive producer, Kenneth Liang, invited her to be part of the show. “He was the one who signed me on for my very first show, War Diary,” she said, so it was about “being loyal; giving back to someone who gave me my first opportunity”. 

On top of that, she continued, “I kind of felt an affinity towards (the show). He showed me another clip as well, about Singaporeans who are in need, and somehow — I don’t know why, I don’t really cry very easily — I started to tear up. I felt bad because I felt like I’m not using my platform for a greater good”. 

“Strangely enough, people still recognise me”, she added, so this is, to her, “an inroad to doing that”.

In her heyday, she confessed, she did not actually enjoy the comedies she was doing, which included sitcoms such as My Genie, Calefare and Serves You Right. Now, she said, after friends’ “pep talks about going back and pursuing the art that I left”, she realises that television acting “is also a form of art – that whatever you take, you absorb and turn into a beautiful art piece”. 

“So it’s sort of come full circle – my first show, War Diary, with Kenneth, and then starting with this project as, you know, my comeback,” she said.

However, almost immediately she went on to contradict herself: “I’m not sure if I’m doing this as my comeback. We’ll see how it goes from there. Because I really didn’t plan. I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I don’t know what will happen, but I’ll take it one step at a time. I don’t think anyone can be really sure about what they want to do, especially in the entertainment line. I didn’t plan to even go into entertainment... and then I had a career of eight to 10 years.” 

FEAR AND LOATHING IN SINGAPORE 

What would it take for her to decide to return to acting full time? “Good opportunities,” she said, and “eradication of fear”.

But what is she afraid of? “Everything. I have my fears of, ‘Can I do this role? Am I good enough? Will I remember my lines? Did I act well? Did I cry properly? Back when I was still acting, I could not do crying scenes for the life of me... Every day, I’d go to work like, ‘How? Today cannot cry. Oh no.’”

But if the timing and opportunities are right, she said, she’s open to the idea of returning to the acting fold. “Hopefully I get to do some nice artistic stuff – Wong Kar Wai-ish things.” 

Yet, for every “nice” person who has welcomed her back or told her they missed seeing her on screen, “you get the same amount of trolling”, she said. “Some people are like, ‘Aiyah, there are so many newer ones — who cares about Fiona Xie?’ But it’s funny because the same day, I was filming a scene about Internet trolling and I, as a psychiatrist, was dishing out advice. That’s why I think this show has been so good for me — because it’s helping me grow as a person. I’m working towards positivity and sharing love.” 

She would like to be “more thankful and appreciative of the little things each day”, she said. For example, she was so nervous meeting us, that she questioned why she had to come for the scene and the interview. 

“And then you just do it and now it’s like, it’s not that bad,” she laughed. True to form, when her first interview in seven years came to an end, she exclaimed victoriously: “I survived! I didn’t die!” 

Catch Left Behind starting Aug 22 at 10pm on Mediacorp TV Channel 5.