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Jason Godfrey and his hirsute pursuit

SINGAPORE — Television host, actor and model Jason Godfrey is ready to split hairs. Literally.

SINGAPORE — Television host, actor and model Jason Godfrey is ready to split hairs. Literally.

Sure he might have everything going for him — good looks, a quick wit and killer abs — but try as he might, the 36-year-old just can’t grow a moustache.

So what, you say? Well, the truth is, sometimes the moustache doth maketh the man. Take, for example, rock star Freddie Mercury. He simply rocks with that ’stache on. Without it, he looks like a creepy cast member from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Johnny Depp could not play Jack Sparrow without that two-pronged plaited chin growth. And we cannot imagine George Lucas or Steven Spielberg without their beards.

Now, thanks to the current hipster takeover, it’s a calamitous situation for a trendy young man like Godfrey to find himself in.

And back in 1950s Singapore, it might even have cast dire aspersions upon a man not to have facial hair. Well, that is, if Channel 5’s new period drama, Mata Mata, is anything to go by. The show is about Singapore’s first female constabulary, with the pioneering feisty females being played by Cheryl Wee, Daniella Sya and Nadiah M Din. Godfrey stars as the police officer they report to.

“It was kind of like having three girlfriends,” he deadpanned. “You’d give them advice and none of them would listen to it. But it doesn’t matter because the girls go out and solve cases and beat the crap out of people.”

Of course, the policewomen don’t have retro-cool beards. But the other men of the show do: Paul Foster as another colleague on the force, and George Young as Phillip Baptiste, the nosy crime reporter. And they both sport the requisite facial hair that was, presumably, the fashion of the time.

So what’s a hirsutely-challenged guy to do?

MO’ HAIR, YEAH?

There’s more than a tinge of melodramatic lamentation when Godfrey, who has made appearances in series like Hot Guys Who Cook and The Link, describes his ’stache-endowed Mata Mata co-stars.

“Paul had tremendous facial hair. It was incredible. He had such a thick moustache,” said Godfrey. “Paul would try to work his ‘stache into his performance. He’d rub it, thinking. And I’d just get jealous because I can’t even come close. A lot of people thought his ‘stache was fake because it was so thick. Actually, when I first saw him with his moustache, I thought it was hilarious. Now, when I see him without the moustache, it looks weird.”

As for Young, Godfrey said he has “quite good facial hair”. “His is a little more patchy but he can grow the beatnik kind of thing better. It’s good. He’s got hair. So he can do something.”

On the other hand, Godfrey’s facial follicles barely raise a blip on the radar. “I mean, I’ve got six hairs growing out of the left side of my face, and five growing out of the right side, so, I would much prefer a patchy beard than having no beard, you know?” he said.

“It doesn’t grow. And if it does, I just get the scraggy thing going on. And what happens is I just look like a 16-year-old. Mine doesn’t get really thick. That’s what Paul’s does — it gets really thick and lustrous. You want to run your hands through his moustache.”

Not that he has done that, of course. But while it might be easy to blame his Asian roots — Godfrey has a Canadian father and a Filipino mother — for his lack of follicles on his face, the actor conceded that it wasn’t the case.

“Actually, it’s not true. My uncle, who’s Filipino, has got a moustache. A good moustache. And it’s my father who can’t grow anything — my British side, the Canadian side. So, actually, it’s the ang mo’s fault.”

IT AIN’T EASY BEING CLEAN

And don’t get him started about hipsters. In light of the momentous rise of the hipster-driven facial hair trend, he clearly harbours some bitterness. “Yeah, hipsters, with their hipster, crappy beards. I hate it! It’s a stupid trend and it should go away!” he laughed. “Because I can’t participate in the trend! I’ve seen guys rocking the full beard and I’m envious. Well, I can fake it with apps.”

Even bearded dogs aren’t spared Godfrey’s envious wrath: “Yeah, I don’t like schnauzers. Just reminds me of what I’ll never have. Stupid schnauzers.”

Thing is, it isn’t easy being clean-shaven all the time, especially if you’re an actor. “It would be nice to get a little bit of the scruff going on. I think it’s just nice to be able to change your face. Now that I do acting stuff, I think it’s good to show up looking completely different from your character, because then, people go, ‘Wow, that guy. What an actor!’ Keanu Reeves does that trick all that time.”

The host of Li TV’s Jason Down Under also liked the look that Johnny Depp sports. “I always look up to Johnny Depp’s facial hair, because he has facial hair like mine. And he rocks his crappy hair proudly. It’s like he’s almost saying, ‘I know I’m hot so I’m going to make myself un-hot, and see if people still think I’m hot.’ And then he’s got that goatee thing going on. I have to look up to that, because that’s all I can ever aspire to: Johnny Depp’s beatnik moustache.”

If he had one wish from the beard fairy, though, what kind of facial hairstyle would he most want to try? “I would just rock mutton chops for fun. I would probably do that every Christmas,” he said. “See? There are so many possibilities I can never experience. Life is full of regrets.”

Catch Mata Mata starting Aug 9, right after the National Day Parade, on MediaCorp TV Channel 5.

Photography: Jason Ho

Hair and makeup: Joanna Ang, Sono Bello (9695 3772)

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