Russell Wong is now comfortable in his own skin

According to Hollywood actor Russell Wong, people remember him most from the movie Romeo Must Die and the most common fan reaction he gets is: “Oh, you were that guy in that Jet Li movie, weren’t you?”

The quip turned out to be representative of his self-effacing sense of humour. The American of Dutch-Chinese parentage doesn’t take himself too seriously and, at 51, is simply feeling comfortable in his own skin.

Of course, people also know him from the romantic comedy Eat A Bowl Of Tea, the television series Vanishing Son and as the “abusive, catty husband-type guy” in Joy Luck Club, in which he famously made eating watermelon look like an adult-only activity.

That, on top of being named one of People magazine’s 50 most beautiful people in 1995, cemented his sex-symbol status then — something that still makes Wong feel slightly awkward. “I mean, it’s flattering at some level, but I don’t think about it too much,” he laughed. “We’re all just people. Some people respond to you and some people don’t, I guess. You just kind of take it with a grain of salt: ‘Thank you and blah blah blah and have a nice day.’”

And although his image is that of a classic, old-school, manly man, Wong looks at the pretty-boy male celebrities of today and thinks: “When I was 20, I think I was a bit like that.” He laughed. “But I like where I am now, I’ll put it that way.”

ASIAN VALUES

Next on Wong’s bucket list is to maybe play a “ghostbuster”. “I guess when I was younger, I was still kind of into action, the Bourne Identity kind of thing. But now I like conspiracy theory-type characters. Supernatural things are also interesting,” he said.

An interest in how “we’re all vibrational beings having a human experience” was one of the reasons he was in Singapore to work on his second HBO Asia Originals project, Grace, a four-part horror miniseries in which he plays a patriarch whose actions impact his family in various ways. Last year, he starred in the series Serangoon Road alongside Joan Chen.

“It’s nice to come back to Singapore and work on an interesting project. It’s not typical of anything I’ve worked on before,” he said. “I think there’s a comfort level when I come back to Asia.” But it’s not that different from working in the States, he said. “I’ve been straddling both sides for the past 28 years, so I don’t know. It all seems the same to me sometimes. Work is work — you show up and do your part.”

How Asian are Wong’s values? “Even though my daughter’s 26, I kind of still want to be in her life and that kind of thing. My dad was (like that), too,” he said, although he firmly stated that he is not in any way a tiger dad. “I was brought up in a way in which you can learn from your own experience, from your own mistakes,” he said. “I’m not the kind of person you can tell what to do. My daughter’s the same way.”

One of the biggest lessons he has learnt in life is “trusting your gut, listening to your own instincts. You can take suggestions, but you can’t let somebody run your life. You’ve got to be present. You’ve got to show up and be accountable all the time.”

LETTING IT GO

It has taken Wong this long to get to the point where he is “going through the journey and kind of saying, ‘This is what the journey has been so far — whatever good things or not so good things happen, that’s just all part of it.’ Processing all that and being okay with it. Feeling comfortable in my skin,” he said.

At this stage in life, he makes no apologies for who he is. “I’m not the overly ambitious, entrepreneurial kind of guy. I’m just kind of pretty easy-going,” added the golf and photography enthusiast. “I’m not obsessed about being busy all the time. I don’t glorify being busy. I used to. And when I wasn’t busy, I would just feel guilty. What’s the point? You are who you are.”

It has a little to do with having turned 50 last year and feeling the hint of a crisis of sorts. “When I was younger, I had a lot of expectations of how it should be or what direction it should go and when your expectations are too high, you get disappointed,” he said. “So it’s kind of like letting go of all that stuff and just being okay with it. I feel okay with everything, career and direction, where it is.

“I think the crisis is also letting go of your youth and energy. I still have energy, but you realise that you are moving, you’re not getting younger, and coming to terms with that and really accepting it,” he said.

“But I’m not getting hung up on the age thing, either. The best years are still ahead.”

Catch Grace starting on Oct 17 at 10pm on HBO (StarHub TV Ch 601).