Music to fly to

LONDON - If you’re one of those who gets a nervous every time you step into an airliner, take some time to listen to this a new album, Songs For Fearful Flyers, which promises to calm the nerves of air passengers.

Michael Hearst’s 38-minute, seven-track LP features song titles such as Like Bumps In The Road, It’s Only A Sound, and Alprazolam (a medical drug typically prescribed to combat panic attacks), and features narration on one track by the popular actress and co-host of The View, Whoopi Goldberg, who’s a well-known nervous flier.

The album was inspired by Hearst’s own aviation anxieties.

“While in San Francisco working on a theatre production, he was suddenly struck with intense anxiety about his upcoming flight to Paris,” a statement on the website songsforfearfulflyers.com explained. “Hearst told the director of the play about his anxiety. She said, ‘You should talk to my friend Whoopi — she’s also terrified of flying.’ Minutes later, a cell phone was pressed to his ear. An unmistakable voice said, ‘Hi Michael. I understand you have a fear of flying.’”

According to the site, Goldberg and Hearst talked for 15 minutes and she coached him on how to relax during take-off and landing, how to practice his controlled breathing and how to distract himself from his overactive imagination.

“By the end of the conversation, Michael asked if she might be willing to let him record her soothing voice. She was. And here, two years later is Songs For Fearful Flyers,” the statement read.

Will it help anyone? The twee, high-pitched tracks - featuring a string trio and a flugelhorn - might be more grating than calming for some; and occasionally reminiscent of the soundtrack of the computer game The Sims. However, you might consider downloading Baggage Claim, featuring Whoopi’s reassurances (“Remember, 3 million passengers fly every day - what makes you think you’re so special? Relax...”) just for the novelty factor.

However, there are some tracks that you might to avoid. Here are 29 songs you should never listen to on a plane:

1. Leaving On A Jet Plane - John Denver (who died in a plane crash)

2. Hit The Plane Down - Pavement (“Hit the plane down, taking over. There’s no survivors. There’s no survivors”)

3. Crash - The Primitives (“Here you go way too fast, don’t slow down, you’re gonna crash...”)

4. At The Bottom Of Everything - Bright Eyes (the music video - see below - features a plane crash)

5. Broken Wings - Mr Mister (wings are a very important part of an aircraft)

6. Flying Without Wings - Westlife (not possible - see above)

7. S*** luck - Modest Mouse (A song of few lyrics - “This plane is definitely crashing!” - and lots of screeching, disconcerting sounds)

8. Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters (Hopefully the pilot already has)

9. Free Fallin’ - Tom Petty (“Gonna free fall out into nothing”)

10. Ironic - Alanis Morissette (“He waited his whole damn life to take that flight, and as the plane crashed down he thought: ‘Well isn’t this nice...’”)

11. Going Down - Freddie King (or perhaps “I’m Going Down” by Bruce Springsteen)

12. Parachutes - Coldplay (Commercial planes don’t even carry the blasted things)

13. Lucky - Radiohead (Most Radiohead songs could get on the playlist, but the lyric “pull me out of the air crash...” earns this a special mention)

14. The End - Doors (Already sombre Jim Morrison turns it up to 11)

15. Light Aircraft On Fire - The Auteurs (“Disintegrate at 2,000 feet”)

16. B.O.B. - OutKast (It stands for “Bombs Over Baghdad”. Not one to sing out loud, unless you want to spend the rest of the flight being sat on by an air marshall).

17. Tailspin - The Jayhawks (On the list of things you don’t want a plane to do, this is up there...)

18. Crash And Burn - Savage Garden (... but not as high up as this.)

19. Jump - Van Halen (Or “Jump” by the wonderful Kris Kross)

20. The Final Countdown - Europe (Otherwise known as: the soothing tones of your pilot, as he steers you to the runway.)

21. Dash 7 - Wilco (named after a type of turboprop aircraft - no nervous fliers like propellors. Lyrics include: “Dash 7 pointed down, the captain’s announcement, doesn’t make a sound”)

22. It’s The End Of The World - R.E.M. (What’s wrong with Shiny Happy People, Mr Stipe?)

23. Buddy Holly - Weezer (“Ooh-eee-ooh I look just like Buddy Holly” - yes, and he died in a plane crash.)

24. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen (Thanks for that, Freddie. Really helping.)

25. Ice On The Wing - Nada Surf (“Ice is growing on the wing. Underneath the oxide” - that’s bad, right?)

26. Knocking On Heaven’s Door - Bob Dylan/Guns and Roses (A poetic way of putting it, but you’re probably more worried about heading in the other direction.)

27. Plane Crash in C - Rilo Kiley (The song isn’t actually about plane crashes, but the title is bad enough)

28. Plane Crash - Moe (This one, however, is: “Too f****** high. I don’t wanna die”)

29. Anything by The Crash Test Dummies (Remember: you’re just another statistic.)

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Which songs have we forgotten? Let us know in the comments box below.