Hard trudge as families come to terms with deaths of loved ones

KOTA KINABALU — When Mount Kinabalu shook on June 5 last year, killing her fiance, Ms Jessica Veronica Sikta was about five months away from her wedding.

Today, their engagement ring is still on her finger. “I don’t want to remove the ring because I still feel like he is with me every day,” said the 26-year-old nurse during an interview with TODAY.

“I am still in the midst of (trying) to move on, I think there’s nothing I can do other than keep on trying and to be close with his family,” said Ms Jessica, adding that she visits his family about twice or thrice monthly.

Her fiance Valerian Joannes, 27, was among the 18 people killed in the disaster — of which 10 were Singaporeans, including seven students and two teachers from Tanjong Katong Primary School (TKPS), as well as an adventure guide. The others were Valerian’s colleague from Mountain Torq, Ricky Masirin, 28, and two mountain guides — Joseph Selungin, 33 and Robbi Sapinggi, 31.

Like Ms Jessica, coming to terms with the fact that their loved ones are gone has been a hard trudge, said the families of the Sabahan mountain guides killed in the quake.

Robbi’s father, Mr Sapinggi Ladsou, 57, said: “The feeling is (we) miss Robbi ... It’s hard for us to forget him but we still keep trying ... to move on.”

His family avoids looking at photographs of Robbi, but Mr Sapinggi admits he cannot help himself sometimes. “If I want to look at his photographs, I do so by myself ... I don’t invite any of (my family). Even if I think about him, I don’t let them know.”

For the other mountain guides, they have had to deal with losing their friends, but also their livelihoods for about three months, when the mountain was closed for reconstruction. Some of them managed to find other jobs, but others who did not, relied on donations to tide through.

Mr Mazlee Liong, who was one of three mountain guides who carried TKPS student El Wafeeq El Jauzy down Mount Kinabalu after the earthquake, worked as a part-time cook in a hotel and earned RM150 (S$52) a month, for instance, to supplement the donations he got.

Mr Joe Endam, 28, who has three children aged four months to six years, said his family survived on about RM1,500 monthly — RM800 from the government, and the rest from the public. “I don’t have any other special skills, I can’t do anything, so I just stay at home and take care of the kids,” he added.

Mr Zulhardy Zulian, a public relations officer of Sabah’s state welfare department, said that Rozitah Daimin, the widow of the late mountain guide Joseph, has been getting RM200 a month since last June.

Mdm Rozitah, 29, cannot work as she has to look after her two young children. “(She relies on) her family (to get by) as well, we are looking into possibilities of helping her start some kind of business,” said Mr Zulhardy.

Tour agency Amazing Borneo’s business development manager Dinna Daisy Chong said the 25 mountain guides under them were still given their basic pay during the three months. Ten of them who had worked for more than five years for the company were paid RM800 a month each, while the rest got RM500 a month.

The company also collected public donations amounting to more RM360,000 for the two Mountain Torq trainers and two of their guides who died during the earthquake.

Although the mountain has been fully opened since December last year, it is only now that there is some semblance of life returning to normal for the mountain guides.

One of them, Mr Fhariantino Joseph, 23, who became a mountain guide in mid-2014, went back to his job only in January.

“At first I was scared but after while everything is okay,” he said.

“My heart is still there,” said Mr Fhariantino, pointing to Mount Kinabalu. “I want to continue to guide people.”

Freelance mountain guide Nuhairi Kintai, who is part of the mountain search and rescue team, set foot on Mount Kinabalu on Sept 6 last year for the first time after the earthquake.

“The first time I stepped on the mountain, I (was) still shaking because I got trauma,” said the 32-year-old. “But after two or three times going up the mountain, I (am) more confident now.”

Mr Sapinggi, who has been a mountain guide for more than 35 years, said his wife and five daughters did not want him to continue his job after they lost their son and brother in the earthquake. But he decided to continue, out of pride in his job and from drawing strength from Christian groups in his community.

“The trauma is still there but I (have been doing) it four to five times a month (since September),” he said.

Mdm Victoria Masirin, sister of the late mountain guide Ricky, said that although she still feels the loss of her brother, her family is thankful for the public support given to the family over the past 10 months.

Ms Jessica added that the community owes it to those perished to move on from the tragedy and emerge stronger. In June, she intends to release a tribute album for her fiance that was put together by his family members and friends. The album has 15 songs, including one that her late fiance composed for her and which was supposed to be played during their wedding.

To mark Valerian’s death anniversary, she also intends to climb Mount Kinabalu on June 4 with her mother, Valerian’s mother and three brothers, as well as some of the Singaporean victims’ families.

“We want to remember Valerian as a talented, caring and loving friend ... I am not going to have another boyfriend, because it’s enough for me to remember his love for me. With his song and all the memories, I will move on (in life) with that,” she added.