More couples untying the knot as the years go by

SINGAPORE — Couples are not making their marriages last as long as they did before, a study of unions over the years show. For instance, among those who tied the knot in 1987, 4 per cent did not make it to the fifth anniversary, compared to 6.6 per cent in 2008.

By the tenth year, 16.1 per cent of couples who exchanged vows in 2003 had gone their separate ways — almost double that for the 1987 newlyweds (8.7 per cent).

And at the 15-year mark, 20.3 per cent of couples who exchanged vows in 1998 had gone their separate ways, which was also nearly twice the rate for the 1987 cohort (12.3 per cent).

The Ministry of Social and Family Development’s (MSF) report on the stability of marriages across cohorts released yesterday also showed that men who got married before they turned 25 were twice as likely to end the relationship.

Almost one-tenth of them from the 2008 cohort went through divorces within five years’ of marriage while one-third of the marriages in 1998 involving grooms aged 20 to 24 did not make the 15th anniversary.

The report compiled data on all weddings registered here where either the bride or groom is a Singapore citizen or permanent resident. The last time similar statistics were released was in 2004.

In the wake of the trends, the MSF said it will roll out a new marriage preparation programme next month — only six months after it started a free two-hour seminar for those who plan to get married. The programme, which will be conducted for 12 hours over two days, is a more comprehensive version, covering 12 topics including communication, conflict management, commitment and problem-solving.

Other findings in the report also showed that break-ups were more likely between the fifth and tenth year of marriage, regardless of cohort. But the proportion of dissolved marriages, in line with the general trend, has increased from 4.3 per cent for the 1987 cohort to about 9.2 per cent for the 2003 cohort.

Meanwhile, Muslim marriages appear to be getting stronger. Divorce rates before a couple hits five years of marriage fell from 14 per cent for the 2003 cohort to 11.4 per cent for the 2008 cohort. The MSF said this may be due to community initiatives in marriage preparation and counselling for Muslim couples, such as the Marriage Counselling Programme for Muslim marriages that started in 2004.

Commenting on the overall findings, Families for Life (FFL) council chairman Ching Wei Hong said: “The rise in marriage dissolution rates is a worldwide trend that we need to pay close attention to. As strong marriages help support a strong Singaporean society, there is an urgent need for community partners and stakeholders in the family ecosystem to step up and work together to strengthen marriages in Singapore.”

In its release, the MSF said Singapore’s marriage dissolution rates — comprising divorces and annulments — generally remain lower than those in countries such as the United Kingdom and New Zealand. About 20 per cent of couples in England and Wales who married in 2003 were divorced by the ninth year of marriage, based on the Office for National Statistics.

Welcoming the new marriage preparation programme, FFL council member Anita Fam added: “Too often, couples are overwhelmed by personal work schedules and wedding preparations, and as such, feel that they have no time to attend such programmes. Such free programmes at the Registry of Marriages and convenient community touch-points are likely to boost interest and participation among couples.”

However, observers were hesitant about making these programmes mandatory as it would reduce motivation for couples to attend and engage meaningfully during the course.

Head of case work and counselling at Asian Women’s Welfare Association’s family service centre Charlotte Chen also said some may prefer to attend marriage preparation courses provided by others, such as religious organisations. “It’s hard to have a one-size-fit-all programme ... when it’s mandatory and doesn’t suit a couple, it may not make sense,” she added.

Observers said the high divorce rates among younger grooms provides a useful indicator on where more focused support is needed, rather than a sure sign that such marriages are doomed. “I wouldn’t say categorically that just because you’re young, the marriage isn’t going to work out but I think when you’re younger, it’s more challenging to work at the marriage and they need to be better equipped to do so,” said Ms Fam.

“Those couples who have gone for marriage preparation courses, although it may not prepare them for all that is to come in marriage, it may be an opening for them to possibly seek counselling in future,” added Ms Chen.

Deputy director of Fei Yue Community Services Arthur Ling suggested pairing young couples with experienced marriage mentors to ensure these couples have longer-term support during the marriage.