Parenting Tips and Woes From Tay Kewei, Whose Son Momo May Be IG's Cutest, Most Showbiz-Ready Baby

Tay Kewei, 35, established Singaporean singer-songwriter, who’s performed with superstars, held solo concerts and sung at the NDP, walks into the executive suite of Hotel Jen Tanglin with her 22-month old toddler son for our 8days.sg shoot, and it’s immediately clear who the star in this little posse is. “OMG, Momo!!!” squeal at least 50 per cent of the crew in the room, and between the photographers, stylists, hair and make-up people and hotel reps, that’s quite a lot of squealing. And little Shen Momo soaks it all in, unfazed by the attention, completely at ease with his superstar status, like he’s been playing the fame game all his life. Which he has, sort of.

When your mum’s a feted local songbird and your dad’s also a famed singer and winner of a reality singing competition, and both of them are super sociable, active in the local scene and know their way around an Instagram account, you grow up always having a gaggle of doting aunties and uncles around you, and are used to being photographed and video-ed non-stop. Add to that the fact that Momo is super cute, not shy at all and seems to genuinely relish attention and taking photos, and you have a kid who’s destined for the limelight. He’s a favourite with Kewei’s 52.6K IG followers, with his cheeky grin and funny antics, and is so well-loved and popular, he made headlines when he was recently hospitalised for a lower respiratory tract infection.

If Kewei and her hubby Alfred Sim were popular before, Momo made them popular-er, and extended their reach beyond local entertainment, to people who don’t listen to Chinese songs or are familiar with local singers. Kewei is now a bona fide parenting influencer and Momo a bona fide Instagram child star. In case you’re wondering, Momo isn’t his real name — his parents gave him that nickname as sort of an inside joke (“Shen Mo” means “what” in Mandarin, Shen being Alfred’s Chinese surname), and it stuck. And maybe the cute moniker is part of the bright-eyed tyke’s charm.

And right now, at our shoot, he’s being a total charmer, taking selfies with all his fawning fans and talking up a storm (“Oh, Momo fall down”, he says adorably when he takes a little stumble while toddling happily around the suite — he speaks Mandarin, ’cos Kewei talks to him mostly in Mandarin). We’re just amazed he didn’t scream or refuse to smile for the cameras in front of a bunch of complete strangers. In fact, he breaks into wide grins on cue, is friendly and amiable, and nails shot after shot. It all makes us want to ask Kewei, “How did you create such a cute kid? Pray share your tips!” Well, here they are.

Yes, Kewei’s a chill mummy, which may contribute to Momo being a chill baby. Or maybe it’s just his own personality. But if you want your kid to not be hyper and wreak havoc all the time, maybe you can try some Zen. “I am very chill,” Kewei tells us. “It helps that Momo is not too active. Some kids are a bit hyperactive, but Momo’s personality is like that, so that explains why I can be quite chill lah.”

On Kewei: Dress from Hugo / Jewellery from JouerBySimone.com
On Momo: Shirt from Sea Apple / Pants from Chubby Chubby

“I try to be open-minded and communicative with Momo. I speak Mandarin to him and will ask him questions like [in Mandarin] “You want or not?” “Right or not?” “Yes or no?” It enables him to answer back [in a simple way]. I always try to engage him in conversation, to explain things to him, to help him understand concepts and the things we did. Sometimes, people ask me on IG how I taught him to speak [at such an early age]. I don’t know — I just talk to him a lot, and I encourage him to talk back to me and answer my question. Quite naturally, he started to echo the words we were saying and learned to apply them quite well.” Obviously, Kewei has given thought to the way she parents, despite being chill. It makes us want to apply more conscious parenting too, to think harder and deeper about how we talk to and teach our kids.

On Kewei: Jacket from Pinko / Dress from Tory Burch / Jewellery from JouerBySimone.com
On Momo: Sweater from Sea Apple / Pants from Chubby Chubby

“Right now, I wanna find out how to get him not to do silly things, like throwing things or spitting out food at meal times. I know it’s natural that they want to try new things, but there should be a strategy to teach him. I heard that for little boys, you should tell them what they can do and what they shouldn’t do. For example, if they touch an electrical socket, we shouldn’t say “No! Don’t touch it!” Instead, tell them to do something else, then tell them not to touch it. Redirect them. I thought that was interesting ’cos it’s counter-intuitive — your first instinct is to tell them no. I felt it was something so simple, and I try to use it. When I catch myself saying “no” to him, I try to change what I say. Distraction tactics are good, but at some point, I need to get him to stop insisting on doing what he wants when it’s not the right thing.”

“When he’s on the floor and his hands are dirty, I don’t whip out my wet wipes immediately. I’m not very hygienic that way! (Laughs) But of course during meal times, I’d clean his hands, but generally, I’m quite relaxed about such things. But I think I can be a little lax too when it comes to safety. When I’m at the playground, I like to watch him, and sometimes, I can be quite chillax when I shouldn’t be. I try not to be overprotective — I just let him be, do things and climb on his own. So recently, I was giving him a piggyback ride, and he fell as he got down and smacked himself on the forehead on the carpet, and sort of got a rug burn. I was very angry with myself and all the mum guilt came, ’cos he was crying and I feel bad about failed parenting.”

“Yes, Alfred is also very chill, but he’s a bit more careful and aware. Not that I’m that careless, but he’s more wary of danger. I think I’m the kind who believes everything will be okay. But I shouldn’t take things for granted and Alfred is right in saying that I should be more careful. I spend so much more time with Momo than he does, so I will report more accidents to him, and he’ll be like, ‘Weren’t you next to him?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, but he still managed to knock his chin on the table quite hard.’ (Laughs)”

“Alfred coaches track and field, and he’s out every day coaching schools and young athletes in sprinting, hurdles, and track and field. He also coaches the national relay team, and also still does singing and hosting sometimes. He recently partnered Vincent Ng to open a gym called MAST Fitness, or Martial Arts Strength Training. I have relatively more free time, and if I don’t have to work, I want to spend more time with Momo. I spend a lot of time with him at home, going for swimming classes and sending him to right brain training at Heguru. But I end up not having a lot of me time or free time to do other things.”

I still go and sing and perform at shows. Right now, I wanna focus on songwriting and writing new songs, so I need to allocate time, but I sometimes don’t really do that. The problem is there’s no deadline with songwriting. And sometimes, life just goes by, I get caught up with many other things, and don’t find time for the creative process. The single I released earlier this year with singer Ein Ein was something we consciously worked toward a deadline for, ’cos we wanted to release a song by March for a show. So in Jan and Feb this year, I spent weeks working on the song, arrangement and production, and sometimes, I saw Ein Ein more than my husband and the kid. After that wave, I now need to find time to restart that process. I need to consciously park Momo somewhere or with my mum, and do it!”

Celebs like Stefanie Sun, Zoe Tay and Joanne Peh hide their children’s faces in photos and don’t allow others to photograph them, but Kewei has no such qualms. Kewei says, “I follow John Legend and Chrissy Teigen and it’s like, if they’re so open… then what am I afraid of? Kidnapping? I dunno… Even Fann Wong is very open! I spoke to Cheryl Wee, and she covers her son’s face in photos, ’cos she doesn’t want people to treat her kid differently ’cos of who he is or who his parents are. When Momo was really young, I struggled with this privacy thing also, and I didn’t post pics of his face until after the first month. After a while, I was like, my baby is just so cute, I just wanna post his face lah! (Laughs) As for not revealing Momo’s real name, maybe it’s retaining a bit of privacy, and also it just never came up. We called him Momo as a joke and it stuck and now I’m very torn, like, when he goes to school, what do people call him? Do I call him by his real name? No, I call him Momo! (Laughs) But I taught him to say his name when people ask him.

I believe in everything in moderation. It’s like, don’t totally cut sugar out, if not they will crave it more. I let Momo watch a little bit of TV, like recently I let him watch Toy Story on Netflix, and I’d explain to him what’s going on.”

“Momo has a friendly personality, but also, we always have a bunch of friends over at home, and wherever we go, people would clamor around him and play with him. In places like the polyclinic, he’d walk around and look at people and make them happier. When we’re in the lift, when people walk in, he would say hi and expect them to wave and acknowledge him. Any person who’s in close proximity, he wants to acknowledge them. (Laughs) We were like, OMG, we hope he’s the next Andy Lau! You know, he was born the same day as Andy Lau, who’s our idol! Our gynae actually said he was due on Sept 23, and we were like, can he like hang in there for a few more days till Sept 27? (Laughs) In the end, it naturally happened lah, and we were really happy about it!”

“During shoots with Momo, I know what is needed in terms of pictures or shots, and if I can help the crew achieve what they need faster and more efficiently, I will try to help and make Momo do certain things. During a shoot for Merries diapers, he was negotiating for more biscuits when I had already told him no. Denying him the biscuits would make things more difficult, but I want to keep to my stand, so I gave him other things. It’s the wrong way to teach him or to make him do what I want, but given the circumstances, I’d choose the faster way. But I don’t want to do this all the time! Yes, not every kid is this exposed to photo shoots and being photographed all the time, but given the IG culture, I think a lot of kids are now used to getting their pics taken all the time!”

Kewei and Alfred are cute, but we can all agree that Momo’s adorability levels are off the charts. So what does mama Kewei think of her kid making her more popular and famous? She laughs, “This is why he doesn’t have his own IG account, so I can leech off his popularity! Just kidding — it’s a struggle for me ’cos I don’t want to post Momo’s photos all the time on my account. I try to maintain a balance. If I have a second kid I would have an account for the kids lah! I mean, as a parent, you think every photo and video is cute lah, but I try to be objective, like, actually this photo not very cute, so I won’t post it.”

On Kewei: Jacket from Max Mara / Dress from rye / Necklace & earrings from Bimba Y Lola / Shoes from Charles & Keith
On Momo: Top from Wild Sundays / Jacket from Sea Apple / Pants from Chubby Chubby

“Momo is making all his milk money [mostly from appearing on Kewei’s Instagram promoting kids’ products and brands], and it’s okay — I don’t feel bad about it at all. (Laughs) Have you seen the John Legend Pampers ad? He’s singing in it while changing his son’s diapers and Adam Levine is there, and when I see how cute it is, it’s like, why would I not wanna do that? (Laughs) Morally, when you question me about [using my child to make money], I’m like, hmmm, am I doing something wrong?, but actually, I’m extremely happy about this. It’s so fun! (Laughs) But at the same time, I don’t want his posts on my feed to be all sponsored posts or associated with free things. There are a lot of small things like toys, teethers, clothes, random things that people send me, and for those things, I will just post some IG stories, and not a [static] post. I try to keep that very clear, and only post for campaigns where they pay us. There are so many stay-home mums who are selling baby things. And I kinda feel like I can help, but the value of one little teether compared to… you know… it’s a difficult decision to make lah. I want to help the stay-home mum businesses, but I don’t want to flood my feed. So my rule is, no payment, no post. So Momo doesn’t get free clothes, because for all the kids’ clothes brands, they don’t pay but require a post. Everyone has their own yardstick when it comes to this, I guess. For myself, it’s a different story. If I get beauty products or skincare, I would post sometimes [even if it’s not a paid deal].”

“When Alfred and I need to take off for work, we have our mums to help, and they’re so supportive. We have a helper, but she doesn’t take care of the baby. In the beginning, we did a lot of the baby’s chores ourselves, like showering him and feeding him. I struggle with how much time I need to spend with Momo as well — I feel like I want to spend a lot of time with him. The grandmas love him, and we could let him stay over with them and Alfred and I could have a night out, have a meal, or go for a foot massage! But we don’t do it often enough! I mean, I really enjoy spending time with Momo, let me have these moments with him! They grow so fast, and he’s already no longer a chubby baby. Alfred and I are obsessed with him lah — we’re like, OMG, why is he so cute! (Laughs) Like, OMG we are so blessed! But we can’t talk about this to other people lah!”

On Kewei: Suit and top from Hugo / Jewellery from Atelier Swarovski / Shoes from Jimmy Choo
On Momo: Top and bloomers from Wild Sundays

“I think that once I checked that parent demographic, people’s perception of me changed. I became a parent, and that kind of affected my role as a singer. I started getting fewer singing offers, but at the same time, I got a lot more offers to work with parenting brands and stuff, so that helped with the income. I felt it was no big deal and no big loss for me. I was at home more, and I had the luxury of having freelance work and being able to stay home to spend time with Momo. But in the beginning, I struggled with my identity. I always said I wouldn’t want to stop singing, because I am a singer, but now I have less time for singing and songwriting. When he goes to pre-school, I can try to get back to singing more.”

“I want to plan my career, but I also think we are overdue for baby number 2. It’s like I want to continue working, and at the same time, I’m also thinking I need to get pregnant. I think they cannot co-exist, actually! When your baby is born, you’d need half a year to focus on newborn. I’m pretty chill about the career part right now — I need to think about what I want. It’s like do I wanna have a complete image change? Do I want to put out interesting music? You need to have a goal and spend a lot of time working towards it. Right now, I’m just going with the flow, and if any opportunities come along, I’ll see if I can take them, like singing jobs or concerts. Once in a while, I’d travel to sing and perform — I enjoy that.”

On Kewei: Cardigan and pants from Tory Burch / Top from Bimba Y Lola / Necklace and Earrings from Tory Burch / Sunglasses from Gentle Monster / Shoes from Jimmy Choo
On Momo: Top from Chubby Chubby / Shorts from Sea Apple

“Do Alfred and I worry about money? Being freelancers comes with its own issues, but I’d say money is not at the forefront of our problems. I’m not too worried about money — we can still get by. We have a car, a house, and we’re not particularly high maintenance. But we’re now budgeting pre-school fees in, and it can be quite expensive. We were just discussing this morning: Can we lock down $1.2 to $1.4K a month for a pre-school, or can we afford closer to $2K a month? We’re like, maybe we can, maybe let’s just do it, ’cos we can try to earn the money.”

Kewei and Momo, shot on location at Hotel Jen Tanglin Singapore. More info at https://www.hoteljen.com/singapore/tanglin.

Photos by Alvin Teo

Styling by Pia Chandra-Masters (@talkdoesntcookrice on IG)

Make-up: Cheron Tan (@muacher on IG)

Hair: Jen Lai / Shunji Matsuo

Can't get enough of Momo? Watch him grow at Kewei's Instagram here.