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Gen Y Speaks: Soul-searching to find yourself

We lose ourselves in the midst of being connected 24/7. I was entertaining the above random thought one night and pondered: When was the last time I had a decent conversation with myself without distractions?

The author, seen here at Mount Misen on Miyajima island in Hiroshima, says that listening to and conversing with yourself is critical to soul-searching.

The author, seen here at Mount Misen on Miyajima island in Hiroshima, says that listening to and conversing with yourself is critical to soul-searching.

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We lose ourselves in the midst of being connected 24/7.

I was entertaining the above random thought one night and pondered: When was the last time I had a decent conversation with myself without distractions?

When I couldn’t answer myself, I decided to plan a soul-searching trip.

YOUR SAY: Tell us what you think

To me, soul-searching is an extremely private process. It requires one to be absolutely comfortable with oneself in order to open up and converse with oneself.

I thought that a switch in environment would be nice. Away from all things familiar in an unfamiliar land. So I packed my soul-searching plan into a solo trip despite* being a newly wed.

*I only chose the word “despite” because I was made aware (by almost every one’s first reaction) that this is a rather odd decision. I’m glad I married the odd one.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what’ll happen or not happen. I didn’t have a methodical approach to soul-searching at all.

What I did was simply set the intent to do so and let that intent guide me to fulfil my objective.

There were no questions or rituals to cross off the list (in fact, there wasn’t even a list). That’ll only put shackles on my thoughts when I just want to set them free and let serendipity do the rest.

I turned off all work notifications and only kept in touch with my loved ones (for safety reporting).

Then I set myself free in the land of the rising sun with a path slightly off the beaten track in Western Japan  — Okayama, Miyajima, Matsuyama and Hiroshima.

My earlier days of anime craze which led me to learn some Japanese proved to be important currency for this strange route.

Surrounded by locals who’re not equipped with English in these less travelled land, my broken Japanese helped me get by eight days of autumn foliage, castles, temples, mountains and quiet solitude in hotel stays.

I’ve never felt more connected with myself.

When you give yourself up completely to your soul and let your heart take the lead, you’ll be surprised at what you’ll discover.

After experiencing immobility for a period of time due to ligament tears, I’ve developed a fondness for movement.

Long walks, strolls and hikes are particularly enjoyable. I find my mind to be the most liberated when I’m enveloped by sounds of nature.

That’s when I can acutely observe my five senses at work, soaking in the mixed palette of red, yellow and green autumn foliage; the music from an orchestra of running streams, rustling leaves and chirping birds as well as the breath of fresh forest air.

Commuting can be a total waste of time or the best time of the day. These pockets of empty time that take the physical you from one place to another offers flight time to fill your mental self.

I often lose myself in the transient sceneries and find wisps of silver thoughts from the most untouched corners of my memories. The best part? No one will notice if you accidentally shed a tear or two.

When you lose yourself, welcome all thoughts. I received bursts of creativity or interesting perspectives that I’ll pen down for further exploration.

They can manifest in the form of Instagram captions, Medium articles or messages to loved ones.

Listening to and conversing with yourself is critical to soul-searching. Sometimes these unprocessed thoughts will scare you, but learn to accept them as a part of you.

Ultimately, your unique self was the one that gave birth to these thoughts. During one of these soul-searching episodes, I discovered something that I thought I’d never be able to do again.

I always thought that I thrive on negativity. There was a dark period in my life when a series of unfortunate events happened almost on a biennial basis.

It was then that I subscribed to the belief that life will never stop throwing me curveballs.

There’s no other options but to pick myself up time and again, drawing energy from the abundance of negativity in hope that I’ll be stronger for the next curveball.  

I embraced and explored negativity as it surfaced during my trip. It was then that I realised I was actually capable of deriving existence from positivity.

I didn’t have to constantly prepare myself for a curveball as the preparation wasn’t effective in alleviating my emotional pain when it happened.

I learnt that when my cat passed on just two months before my trip. The devastation that I experienced was tremendous.

If being in fight mode didn’t cushion my fall, I should learn to enjoy my time out of the ring. To draw energy from those sparks of sparkles amidst darkness and be happy.  

I thought I’ve lost the ability to be truly happy long ago.

Since my return from my soul-searching trip, I’ve been making conscious effort to tap into positivity.

It was not easy to make the switch immediately as the mind strays back to the norm, but I know I must try to help myself be happier.

My fondness for movement also manifests in high-intensity interval training and yoga. I used to power through by emotional self-flagellation as I thought that’s the only way to fuel myself and tide through the pain.

Now, I make sure that I set a positive intent before each practice and focus on it throughout the practice. As a result, I can achieve physical as well as mental fitness concurrently.

You’ll never know what you’d find when you get lost. Soul-searching can bring you to the extreme polarities of exhilaration and anxiety, sometimes even concurrently.

Cast away your fears. Be brave. Converse with yourself.

The daily grind wears us out. So it’s even more pertinent to take time out for yourself during this year-end when we’ll all bash ourselves up for (once again) not fulfilling any of our new year resolutions and (most probably) not doing anything concrete at all.

Whatever it is, just remember that you can’t change the past.

But you can still change the future with the present, maybe starting with a recalibration exercise in soul-searching.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Wu Ying Ying is the Regional Head of Communications at ShopBack.

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