For a period of six months last year, I enjoyed the companionship of a small group of seniors in their 60s and 70s at a hawker centre.

I met up with these aunties and uncles almost every Sunday morning and we would talk about a broad range of topics, from politics and health to the latest fruits on sale at the nearby fruit stalls.

My weekly breakfast dates with them started because my daughter had her sports training sessions at a nearby stadium and while waiting for her, I would go to the hawker centre to read and have my coffee.

One morning, one well-meaning senior at the nearby table asked what happened to my hand. Due to the long hours of working from home, I had developed a strained thumb and had to wear a brace to support it.

We started exchanging anecdotes of what we did at home which could have also strained our wrists and backs.

I recommended the hand brace that I was using to her. She started asking her friends over to our table and we chatted for a full hour before I had to leave to pick my daughter up.

The next Sunday, I found them waiting for me!

They warmly welcomed me to sit and said they tried to keep a place for me at their table. We chatted again, this time about healthier breakfast options at that hawker centre.

Throughout the next few months, I found myself looking forward to meeting them.

They generously shared with me the best stalls to visit at the nearby wet market. They taught me easy and quick, child-friendly recipes to prepare for my children.

Some of them even offered to accompany me to the wet market when I lamented that I did not know the difference between the various species of fishes at the fish stall.

I found them so pleasant to chat with and so receptive to my little words of advice.

I encouraged them to eat healthier proteins to prevent sarcopenia (loss of skeletal muscle mass and strength), reminded them of the importance of regular exercise and staying physically mobile, and advised them on how to keep themselves safe from mobile and online scams.

They would ask about various mobile applications which they saw their friends or children using.

Through spending time with them, I realised that these weekly meet-ups with their friends were important to them.

They have known each other for more than 10 years, having lived in the same neighbourhood.

They knew who had certain health issues or health scares.

These uncles and aunties appeared jovial, joyful and seemed to be leading meaningful and engaging lives.

Most of them helped to watch over their grandchildren during the weekdays and had regular family gatherings.

Some had spouses at home who were unwell and not willing to venture out to socialise, but they would remember to buy food back home for their spouses.

From conversations with them, I could see how they value loyalty and faithfulness in their marriages, the deep love they have for their children and grandchildren, and how they look out for one another.

My dear group of senior friends taught me much in the short period of time I spent with them.

COPING WITH COVID-19

It was a pity that my daughter stopped her sports training programme and I stopped visiting that hawker centre on Sunday mornings.

The school term started and the hustle and bustle of life intensified.

I often wondered how my group of uncles and aunties were.

When I decided to head over one Sunday morning, the nation was into Phase Two (Heightened Alert) and all dining-in activities were barred.

My heart ached for this group of seniors. I knew that they looked forward to their weekly meet-ups and I wondered how they would cope without meeting their friends.

When we could finally dine in, I made another trip down on a Sunday morning. The group was nowhere to be seen. I think it was because there could only be two per table and no intermingling was allowed.

The Covid-19 safe management measures are important to keep the nation safe. However, I feel for our seniors.

Unlike younger people, many seniors do not use social media to keep abreast of the latest developments in their friends' lives.

The lack of social interaction can easily develop into loneliness and social isolation.

The recent news of elderly suicides in Singapore reaching a record high in 2020, since 1991, is a sombre reminder of how vulnerable our lonely and socially isolated seniors could be.

WHAT MORE CAN WE DO

How can we ensure that our seniors still get to continue to safely interact with their friends and the community, and reap the benefits of social interactions in the midst of this pandemic?

I would like to make a few suggestions.

For some who are naturally more introverted, have mobility issues and tend to stay home more, ensuring that someone can check in on them regularly is essential.

There are many organisations in Singapore who keep a lookout for seniors who live alone and have issues getting their daily meals.

These organisations not only send food to the seniors but also chat with them and keep an eye on their well-being.

I applaud them for their hard work.

However, could schools work alongside community organisations and start co-curricular activities clubs in schools where students “adopt” seniors who are living alone?

Students can visit them on a weekly basis as part of their co-curricular activities.

We can embark on a national campaign of meaningfully engaging our seniors.

Wouldn't it be beautiful to regularly invite seniors to come into our schools to offer after-school tuition (in subjects which they are comfortable in), be guest speakers for a History or Mother Tongue lesson or teach conversational Hokkien or Malay?

I have often heard of and experienced the culinary prowess of some friends' mothers and thought of the possibility of inviting some of our seniors to conduct some Home Economics classes in our schools, imparting heritage dishes to the younger generation.

All these arrangements should of course be done in accordance with prevailing safe management measures.

With some coordination and selection, some seniors could even be employed by supermarkets to become “guides” to customers like me who would really appreciate someone teaching me the difference between old and young ginger.

However, I would also suggest that only vaccinated seniors should be considered to become these supermarket "guides" as they would be exposed to more customers in the supermarkets.

Interested seniors could apply via community centres or be identified via Members of Parliament when they make house visits.

This national campaign can be shared via common residential areas’ bulletin boards or publicised via social media. Seniors’ children who use social media could encourage their parents to join.

A small stipend or a meaningful token of appreciation can be given to the seniors who participate in this programme. There could even be a “hall of fame” for seniors who regularly volunteer and participate.

Our seniors are precious and valuable. Many of them still have so much to teach the younger generations.

Most of them have gone through much in life and while they may look stoic, they are also trying to cope with the many disruptions to life caused by Covid-19.

Putting ourselves in their shoes, dropping by to visit the seniors around us, asking about them when you meet them in the lifts and yes, sitting down for a cup of coffee and chatting with them would be the nicest things to do for them and with them.

It is not just about bringing food to these seniors.

It is about social interaction, valuing their anecdotes and their skills, giving them warmth, a hello, a smile and the sound of a human voice.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Yvonne Kong-Ho is a gerontology PhD student at the Singapore University of Social Sciences and a recipient of the Alice Lim scholarship. She works in a university, specialising in workforce development.