Diana Ser: Bring my kid to work ‘week’? Thanks, but no thanks

SINGAPORE — “How do you protect him?” asked my friend.

I had just shared that I took my 10-year-old boy to Chiang Mai, Thailand, to film an episode of the Channel U series, Innocence Lost (about child workers).

Protect him from what, I thought. From witnessing first hand the trials and toil of kids his age? From understanding the value of hard work? From bonding with Mum over her work?

As it turned out, my dear friend’s concern was about privacy. Is it fair to expose my kids since my work is publicly consumed?

In an age where parents are sharing their cherub’s pictures all over social media, this point seems moot. There is even a term for this — “sharenting”, the overuse of social media by parents to share content based on their children.

Granted, when most people bring their kids to work, it does not end up on national television — or even the Intranet, for that matter. And many companies bring on the bells and whistles for Bring Your Children To Work Day, not Week.

Imagine having to manage your boss, colleagues (politely tight-lipped) and your kid for, oh, five days.

That was how long my son and I spent in Chiang Mai (a relatively short overseas shoot).

Prior to the trip, my husband and I decided that a “hardship holiday” might be just the thing the boy needed. More importantly, we wanted to expose him to different experiences and cultures.

As the plane took off from Changi Airport, the son turned to me and said, “Mummy, let’s play Match Attax!” (a soccer card game).

My heart sank. Two-and-a-half-hours of unpronounceable soccer star names was too much, even for a former newsreader.

What had I done? Work was supposed to be an escape. This was supposed to be my time.

This may not be politically correct, but more than self-actualization, making a difference through telling stories and all that high sounding stuff, work gives me an opportunity to come up for some air, so to speak.

Getting the kids to school on time, finding the perennially misplaced spelling list, planning the kids’ meals, coordinating their ever-conflicting tuition schedules — my “mum” days often become an indistinguishable blur.

Lunch is a sandwich or a char siew bun, consumed while keeping the other steady hand on the steering wheel (let not the Traffic Police be on my case).

Waiting for dismissal under the blazing sun? Well, that is all in a day’s work.

WITH WORK AS RESPITE, HOW WILL BRINGING YOUR CHILD CHANGE THINGS?

So I might be forgiven into thinking that, despite having punishing filming schedules overseas — 14 hour days are par for the course — at least I actually get a chance to sit down for lunch.

And after work, instead of rolling up my sleeves and getting the kids to clean up, switch off the TV and brush their teeth, I return to my three-star accommodation and find...peace.

Yes. In the midst of musty smells, ants quietly marching in corners and slimy hotel room floors, I find my inner Zen on overseas shoots.

So my trip to Chiang Mai, with my son in tow, was...an interesting change, to say the least.

When I — make that “we” — knocked off, it was time to entertain the little man. I had to reward him for being patient and for cooperating as much as he could during work hours.

Make no mistake. The son was not there for a holiday, as he initially thought.

He was part of the show, participating as a Singaporean boy whose life is vastly different from the child workers’.

Normally I can count on myself to perform — write my lines, conduct interviews, experience first hand what the child workers do. It was a different ball game getting my son to rise to the occasion.

He is a child after all, and not a professional host.

Imagine giving a pitch to your clients, and then bringing on your 10-year-old to seal the deal. “Can you get him to speak Mandarin?” asked my producer.

Yes. But that may take a lifetime.

BUSINESS VS PERSONAL

Mixing mummy and professional duties in a foreign land can be unnerving too.

Like when I noticed that he was nowhere to be found while I was in the middle of an interview.

Human trafficking, organ trafficking, sexual slavery! Simultaneously, all kinds of possibilities surfaced in my mind.

As I ran down the alleyway screaming his name, the son appeared with a wild look on his face, shouting excitedly: “Mum, I’ve got poo on my socks!”

Turned out our enthusiastic Thai fixer decided to take him to visit some fighting cocks.

So, did any good come out of the trip at all?

Yes, of course. It confirmed what I knew all along about my boy — that he makes friends easily and possesses a healthy sense of justice.

Triumphantly, I managed to get him to do simple chores such as ironing my work clothes, packing the bags and suitcases.

And frankly, cuddling up with my son at night brought a different kind of peace.

A Daddy friend who once brought his 10-year-old son on an overseas business trip to meet suppliers, had this to say: “I wanted him to see how the concept of work can be anything that he chooses it to be, not just a strict employer-employee relationship.”

Sean Wai, 40, who runs two online specialist watch and bike businesses, also says: “Treat them as equals and cultivate a mutually respecting relationship. Children are more intelligent than we give them credit for sometimes, and it is us adults who keep them juvenile for our own selfish reasons. Children need to understand why they are doing things (such as the need to go to school) and it is our jobs as their guardians in our short lifetime to guide them in the right direction.”

Still, would I do it all over again?

Yes. But only if it is just for a day.

And if I can limit the Match Attax to 10 minutes.

Diana Ser is a TV host who currently runs online portal Crazy About Chinese that encourages parents to teach their children the Chinese language through daily activities. She is married to actor-turned-bank executive James Lye and they have three children: Jake, 10, Christy, eight, and Jaymee, five.