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Covid-19 measures in place and days after a stroke, 78-year-old woman gets married at Alexandra Hospital

SINGAPORE — It was a wedding ceremony unlike most others. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, through a stroke and Covid-19 safe distancing measures, 78-year-old Liong May Swan and 81-year-old Tom Iljas exchanged “I do’s” in an Alexandra Hospital clinic on Saturday (March 28) morning.

Madam Liong May Swan (right), 78, and Mr Tom Iljas, 81, tied the knot on March 28, 2020, having known each other for 10 years.

Madam Liong May Swan (right), 78, and Mr Tom Iljas, 81, tied the knot on March 28, 2020, having known each other for 10 years.

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SINGAPORE — It was a wedding ceremony unlike most others.

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, through a stroke and Covid-19 safe distancing measures, 78-year-old Liong May Swan and 81-year-old Tom Iljas exchanged “I do’s” in an Alexandra Hospital clinic on Saturday (March 28) morning. 

Madam Liong has been warded at the hospital since March 25.

Due to Covid-19 safety measures, Mdm Liong’s son from a previous marriage and a friend of Mr Iljas were the only two witnesses present in Clinic J, which is usually closed on Saturdays.

In an unusual scene, Mr Iljas wheeled a visibly frail Mdm Liong, who had suffered from a stroke on March 16, into the clinic’s waiting area for the solemnisation.

Sitting side by side, Mdm Liong — dressed in a cobalt blue kebaya blouse, with a single peach rose and baby breaths decorating her hair — often reached for Mr Iljas’ hand. 

Mr Iljas looked smart in a grey suit with a yellow rose pinned on his left breast pocket.

Vows were exchanged and tears were shed in the 45-minute-long ceremony at the clinic decorated with a flower arch adorned with yellow roses — the couple’s favourite. 

Reverend Daniel Lee Kok-Peng, who was officiating the ceremony, said: “This is the first time I’m conducting a wedding for the most senior persons. I count this as a privilege and a great honour. ”

He then asked Mdm Liong to place both of her hands on top of Mr Iljas’ palms. “This is a symbol that Tom will always support you and a symbol that you will always be with Tom. With this, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now give your wife a kiss,” Reverend Lee said.

Mr Iljas then rose slowly to plant a gentle kiss on Mdm Liong’s cheek. A sense of relief could almost be felt.

The journey to this moment has been a long one, as Mdm Liong expressed in her vows to Mr Iljas just minutes before.

“We’ve waited for 10 years for this day to happen," she said. "I do believe this is part of the journey towards a new chapter in our lives. Some people asked me if I fell in love with Tom. To me, that’s overrated. People can fall in love in five minutes then fall out of love in 10 minutes.

“Our love is more profound and everlasting and that is what I would like it to be.” 

Mdm Liong and Mr Iljas being briefed by the Reverend Dr Daniel Lee Kok-Pheng (left) just before their solemnisation. Photo: Raj Nadarajan/TODAY

The couple, both widowed, first met online 10 years ago. 

Mdm Liong, a Singaporean fiction writer, was born in Indonesia. Mr Iljas, born in Indonesia as well, is a retiree and former engineer who is based in Sweden where he is a citizen.

The couple spent three years chatting online about history and other topics, with Mr Iljas penning reviews of the 10 short novels Mdm Liong has written.

Mr Iljas told reporters after the solemnisation: “These common interests made us closer and we began talking about our private lives. I started to realise that she was a big part of my life.” 

The couple finally met for the first time in 2013 when an author friend of theirs had a book launch at Amsterdam in the Netherlands. 

Mr Iljas picked Mdm Liong from the Frankfurt Airport in Germany before they drove to Amsterdam.

“After the book launch, we decided to take a vacation in London, then to my house in Sweden," Mr Iljas said. "We then travelled to Paris, Barcelona and Italy and came back to Singapore. Since then, I’ve been travelling to Singapore twice a year.” 

After spending years shuttling between the two countries to visit each other, the couple decided last year that they would get married, as the constant travelling became incredibly “taxing and tiresome”, Mdm Liong said.

However, as their March 18 wedding drew closer, Mdm Liong’s declining health halted their original plans of holding their wedding at a Dempsey Hill restaurant here, which they had booked in January.

Mr Iljas said that when he spent some time with her here in December, she seemed fine. Then, he realised in January that her health was worsening after he started receiving many calls a day from her. 

One day she told him that she had dropped her mobile phone. The next day, she misplaced her identity card. On one occasion, she even fell on an escalator in Changi Airport. 

He rushed to Singapore in February to care for her as she was living alone.

Mr Teo Choo Chuan, 57, Mdm Liong’s only son, said: “One day, I got a call from Tom that she had fallen at home. I rushed over, bundled her in my car and drove to the National University Hospital’s (NUH's) accident and emergency department.” 

Mdm Liong was admitted on March 16, just two days before the wedding was to take place. 

Magnetic resonance imaging scans showed that she had a blood clot at the base of her skull. She had suffered a stroke.

Mr Teo said: “Tom and I made the decision to cancel the wedding at the restaurant but we had to convince my mother who still wanted to do it. It took a lot of convincing before she agreed to cancel the restaurant to do it at home.”  

Mr Teo also realised that most of the guests would be between 70 and 80 years old and he “did not want to be responsible for another Covid-19 cluster”.

However, the wedding plans at home were also upended when doctors at NUH said that it was risky for Mdm Liong to leave the hospital “for even a few hours”, Mr Iljas explained.

Mdm Liong was transferred to Alexandra Hospital on March 25 for rehabilitation. That was when Ms Wendy Yue, an advanced practice nurse in the hospital’s specialised rehabilitation ward, heard about Mdm Liong’s predicament and sprang into action.

“It is an unfortunate period for the couple, but they were courageous to proceed with their marriage registration so we wanted to help her fulfil her wish,” Ms Yue said. 

“The wonderful couple believed in sharing the message of hope. This takes courage. We are very inspired. So we wanted to help them.” 

Though Mdm Liong appeared visibly weak on Saturday, with her arms trembling, she wanted to share a piece of advice: “Don’t wait to tie the knot. There’s no one good reason to prolong it. If you’re young, you have good energy to enjoy each other and explore life together.”

She hopes to move to Sweden to live full-time with her new husband when she recovers.

“I just can’t wait to be discharged so I can go back to my normal life,” she added. 

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