Mixed-race couples brave the odds for acceptance
SINGAPORE — About one in five marriages (21.5 per cent) last year were inter-ethnic, nearly a three-fold increase from 7.6 per cent in 1990, data released by the Department of Statistics revealed.
Though more common, couples in mixed-race relationships told TODAY that strange looks in public and overcoming parental objections are still par for the course. The effort, however, is well worth it as they get to experience a rich blend of two or more cultures.
SINGAPORE — About one in five marriages (21.5 per cent) last year were inter-ethnic, nearly a three-fold increase from 7.6 per cent in 1990, data released by the Department of Statistics revealed.
Though more common, couples in mixed-race relationships told TODAY that strange looks in public and overcoming parental objections are still par for the course. The effort, however, is well worth it as they get to experience a rich blend of two or more cultures.
Chinese-Indian couple Mr Daryl Cheng, 30, and Ms Hema Padmanathan, 29, said the most rewarding part of their relationship is that they are able to enrich their cultural knowledge and “celebrate both worlds”.
Mr Cheng can speak basic Tamil and is hooked on Bollywood films, whereas Ms Hema is fluent in Mandarin and has familiarised herself with the various types of Chinese food such as Hokkien and Cantonese cuisine.
The Singaporeans, who run home-based boutique floral service Bloomen, dated for five years before holding a massive Hindu wedding at Chinatown’s Sri Mariamman Temple last August. Mr Cheng’s parents were excited to learn about Hindu culture, with his mother even shopping up a storm in saris when both families trooped off to Mumbai in India for pre-wedding preparations.
Unlike the Cheng-Padmanathan pair who were lucky in getting familial support almost immediately, other couples took far longer.
Eight years was how long it took for Ms Sandy Cheng Sheng Di’s Taoist parents to accept that she was so serious about Mr Muhd Fitri Khamis, a media specialist, that she was willing to convert to Islam.
Said 29-year-old Ms Cheng, who is is a community manager: “(My parents) expected their children to fall in love with people of their own race, and me to settle down with a Chinese.”
However, they eventually came to the conclusion that “no religion teaches us bad things”, and put aside their initial concerns that she could no longer consume pork or hold joss sticks.
Her mother now cooks halal food and uses a separate set of utensils and wok to cook with whenever the pair, who tied the knot last January, return to the family home for dinner.
The families of Indian national Abhiram Patel, 32, and Singaporean Chinese Angela Ng, 30, objected to not just the differences in race, but also nationality. “Interracial (relationships) have one set of problems, but when it’s different nationalities, you bring in another set of problems,” said Mr Patel. The IT manager came here in 2007 to study at the National University of Singapore, where he met Ms Ng who is an accountant.
Ms Ng’s parents objected for fear that there would be too many “cultural clashes”, while Mr Patel’s parents believed that a “traditional Indian lady” would understand him better.
After nine years, the couple held a Chinese wedding ceremony last June in Singapore and an Indian ceremony in Mr Patel’s hometown last August.
When it comes to registering the race of their future offspring, however, most mixed-race couples take a pragmatic approach. The Patel-Ng pair will opt to register their children as Chinese, as it is the “most common race here”. They also intend to let their children study Chinese in school as it is a more “economically useful” language, although at home they intend to teach Tamil as it is easier to learn.
The Cheng-Padmanathan pair have similar plans. But instead of opting for a single or double-barrelled race, where one race is still regarded as the dominant race, they wish “Chindian” can be an option.
But Mr Cheng acknowledged that doing away with “such fixed labels” is “easier said than done”, given the policy implications.
Ultimately, Mr Cheng said: “You don’t have to label (the child) as part Chinese, or part Indian ... You’re just Singaporean.”