Giving children of ex-offenders a confidence boost

SINGAPORE — After her father was jailed, Hazirah Ismail, then seven years old, began to feel self-conscious and isolated from other children her age, thinking they were judging her.

“I felt different from other children even at school, because of how my family’s background stood out. I had very low self-esteem and was afraid to make friends,” said Hazirah, now 14 and in secondary school.

But thanks to a programme by Industrial & Services Co-operative Society (ISCOS) to help children of ex-offenders from low income families, she soon found acceptance and friendship. Under ISCOS’ Fairy Godparent Programme, she met other children of offenders through activities organised by ISCOS, such as trips to the zoo.

“They came from similar backgrounds and it gave me more confidence,” said Hazirah, who has been part of the programme for seven years.

Today (June 12), the programme received a new infusion of funds of over S$500,000 from the Goldbell Foundation and Trafigura Foundation. Since it was started in 2006, the programme has supported more than 500 children of offenders.

Other than having recreational activities organised for them, the children also receive merit bursaries, mentorship and sponsorship for tuition. There are also family days with bonding activities and parenting workshops. Those who lack a conducive study environment at home get sponsorship for a study corner.

Through the programme, Hazirah found a group of eight close friends who support each other with advice and companionship, even outside ISCOS activities. Sharing her experience at an appreciation event for the new sponsors today, Hazirah said the financial support also allowed her mother to spend more time with the family. She had been working two jobs to support her four children, only coming home late at night.

But with the merit bursaries and book grants she received each year, and her father returning to the family after a two and a half-year prison stint, the financial strain eventually eased. “I feel really happy that I have the whole family together (now),” she said.

Commissioner of prisons Soh Wai Wah, who was guest of honour at the appreciation, reminded the audience that “support cannot be confined to ex-offenders alone”, but also to their families.

Comedian and entrepreneur Irene Ang, who spoke at the event, shared how she overcame a difficult childhood with both parents in and out of prison. Growing up, she flitted through various relatives’ homes and did poorly academically, failing her A-levels thrice.

It was the support she found at her church that helped her turn her life around, and she decided to “be the change I wanted to see”, said Ms Ang.

She stressed the importance of family in preventing their loved ones from re-offending. Before her mother was released from prison in 1984, Ms Ang wrote her a letter saying: “Mummy if you go in again after you come out, you’re going to lose me and my brother.”

Said Ms Ang: “And she really was scared. Having the family love reminded to them really will make a difference.”

She also encouraged the families of ex-offenders to persist despite their circumstances. “We need to share with these kids that they do not have a choice of their family but they all can make a change. Or if their spouse is in this situation, they can make the change they want to see instead of hoping for that person to change.”