SINGAPORE — As awareness of mental health and emotional wellness gains traction globally, so has the demand for self-help programmes conducted by life coaches.

A study conducted by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) in December 2022 estimated that the number of such coaches globally has reached 109,200, a 54 per cent jump from the 2019 global estimate.

Coaches, mental health practitioners as well as individuals who have gone through such coaching sessions told TODAY said that these programmes can help participants improve themselves such as through nudging mindset changes or clarifying thought processes.

However, they cautioned that as with other industries, there are players in the self-help space who engage in bad practices that can be financially — or even emotionally — detrimental to clients.

It is also important for people to know when they should be seeking therapeutic help from clinically trained professionals and when it is okay to rely on self-help.

“A coaching or self-help programme might harm us if we are feeling emotionally or psychologically fragile,” said Ms Diana Petrov, a counsellor from psychological consultancy firm Mind What Matters.

TODAY spoke with coaches, mental health practitioners and individuals who have gone through self-help programmes who shared some of the red flags to watch out for and how to find the right type of support to meet one’s needs.

RED FLAGS AND BAD PRACTICES TO WATCH OUT FOR

Scare tactics

Some motivational or self-help coaches employ tactics that bring about unnecessary negative feelings.

Principal psychologist and director at The Therapy Room Geraldine Tan recalled cases when she had to work with teenagers who came back from motivational camps with “depressive” symptoms. 

As it turned out, the camp organisers had sought to “break” the students first before cheering them on as a means of motivating them.

TODAY understands that one of the ways this was done was by making the teens imagine that a great tragedy had befallen their family members and letting the students dwell on those thoughts, before the organisers gave them words of advice.

One former client of coaching programmes also described how some coaches left him feeling “empty” with the advice that they dished out.

For example, when he was seeking ways to improve himself so he can make bigger strides in his career, a coach insisted that he ruminate over the definition of joy instead, saying “otherwise, (regardless) everything you do… you will feel empty”.

Manipulation

Others warned about how some organisations that run self-help programmes may ensnare their participants to prolong their commitment there through emotional manipulation.

Mr Sherman Ho, co-founder of Happiness Initiative, a social enterprise focusing on well-being research, recalled a case of an individual who was sold packages after packages of self-help sessions — each costlier than before — after enrolling in a programme.

“The way they pitched it was, ‘If you really care about your growth and well-being, what is money to you?’,” he added, describing such tactics as manipulative.

Coaching practitioner Maisie Cheong believes that coaching “is not meant to be a dependent relationship”, where the coach encourages the client’s over-dependence on the coach. 

“The aim, at least for my coaching, is that I would love to have you empowered after one session,” she said.

However, she shared that some individuals might choose to intentionally embark on additional sessions as they see fit, when they feel that they would benefit from additional reminders or follow-up support.

Pushing for more sales

Besides urging their existing clients to sign up for more packages, some organisations also pressure them to bring onboard other individuals to also enrol in their programmes.

Participants and some mental health advocates go as far as to compare such tactics to multi-level marketing, which commonly employs hard selling tactics and encourages participants to look into recruiting others in their own circle that ultimately benefits the organisation.

Dr Tan of The Therapy Room said whether an organisation focuses more on how their clients are getting better or how many new sessions are being sold, is telling of its priorities.

FINDING THE RIGHT SELF-HELP COACH

Those who spoke to TODAY gave the following suggestions to guide a person in finding the right kind of support for their wellness need:

Understand one’s own needs

Coaching practitioner Kuik Shiao-Yin said that to avoid unethical practices in the industry, customer education is key.

“Customer education is necessary too: Being aware that self help must not be seen as a replacement for professional help; recognising what abuse and manipulation looks like and paying attention to what feels ‘not ok’ to you,” said Ms Kuik, who is a former Nominated Member of Parliament.

Mr Ho said that broadly speaking, counselling helps one to “untangle” issues from the past while coaching “tends to be more future oriented”.

The mental health experts said it is important to know where and when to tap the right kind of help to avoid potential harm.

Mr Melvin Yong, president of the Consumers Association of Singapore, also suggests that consumers communicate their expectations and goals with the service provider.

Check credentials and testimonials

Mr Yong says those wanting to sign up for self-help programmes should “research the track record, reputation, credentials and reviews” of the service provider before making any decision. 

Ms Petrov from Mind What Matters stressed the importance of doing research “with an objective mind”.

This would involve looking at the coach’s certification and paying attention to whether they have any published materials, books or free resources that can help one understand their service and the value they bring.

Reading testimonials from past clients may also be helpful, though it would still involve some level of “discernment”, said Ms Carol Lim, a coaching practitioner, given how it was not impossible for an organisation or a coach to post made-up testimonials online.

She suggested asking for referrals from those one knows or trusts, as these would be more reliable compared to strangers' online reviews.

Give it a whirl

Where possible, speak to the prospective coach first.

“Some coaches actually offer the opportunity for a free discovery call,” said Ms Cheong, adding that she herself does this to allow a person to have a sense of whether he or she can feel comfortable opening up to her.

“Because it is a working relationship, and there needs to be trust.”

Ms Lim said that this complementary chat is sometimes referred to as “chemistry call”.

“The reason why coaches offer this is because the success or failure of a coaching is also very much dependent on the coaching chemistry between the two people,” she added.

Mr Yong suggests that consumers request for trial sessions or short-term commitments to assess if the programme satisfies their requirements before they commit to long-term programmes.

They should also ask for clear and detailed information on the services offered, including terms and conditions and refund policies in the event they choose to withdraw from the programme.

Trust your feelings

Above all, it is important to trust one’s own feelings when going through coaching sessions.

“For any programme we might choose, we should ensure that we feel safe and empowered during the course and that we have the option to safely terminate it if it is a mismatch, if it does not meet our goals or if we feel invalidated and unsafe,” said Ms Petrov.

Agreeing, Ms Cheong added that people should not feel compelled into signing up for something they are uncomfortable with.

“A coach, or just any person, who actually cares about you will not try to convince you that you’re less able in any way just so they will be needed,” she said.

“An ethical coach will always just hold out a hand as an invitation and say 'You can take it if you need a thought partner’.”