To show more empathy to those who need help, let’s recognise mental health goes beyond resilience

On July 19, when news broke of an alleged murder at River Valley High School, we mourned the death of a 13-year-old boy who went to school and never would have imagined it to be the last day of his life. 

While there was sympathy for the alleged perpetrator’s history of mental health struggle, particularly by mental health practitioners and individuals who themselves have battled mental illness, the public discussion that emerged online highlighted many harsh realities that as a society we need to take stock of. 

The first being a disconcerting thread of apathy in some quarters, which shows that a segment of our society not only lacks an understanding of mental health but more worryingly shows an indifference towards individuals with mental health issues.

The incident underscores the pressing need to address the elephant in the room: Mental health education in schools.

We have taken the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach towards mental health and that must stop now. 

Let’s remember that on July 19, we failed two boys as a community. 

Mental health goes beyond one’s ability to have mental resilience or to remain unfazed through any challenge life throws. 

It needs to be viewed seriously as a medical condition by not just schools but society. 

As adults, we have our share of harrowing anecdotes struggling in school, battling stress and going through puberty. 

We need to become more empathetic as a society and to keep that empathy in mind, especially when it comes to mental illness. 

Resilience is at the core of our Singaporean identity, but it is often glorified at the cost of one’s mental health. 

That is not something that should be condoned, particularly when it concerns children. 

The public conversation must transform into one that normalises battling mental illness and does not stigmatise taking mental health breaks or confiding to others one’s mental health challenges. 

As cliched as it may sound, our children need to know that “it’s okay not to be okay”. 

We need to teach them to be kinder not only to others but especially to themselves.  

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