NEW YORK — Offering a compliment has been shown to benefit the giver and receiver. But we often hold back because we’re worried about how we’ll come off, said Dr Erica Boothby, a social psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

“The reality is, these messages are usually much more welcome than we expect,” she said.

Mr Milo McCabe recently gave me a “compliment lesson” outside the New York Public Library’s flagship location. The British comedian, who plays a midcentury “matinee idol” character named Troy Hawke in viral videos, is known for complimenting athletes at sporting events.

I asked Dr Boothby, Mr McCabe and other experts for suggestions on giving praise.

COMPLIMENTING A STRANGER? KEEP IT BRIEF AND SINCERE. First, size up people’s body language to see if they seem open to being approached, said Mr McCabe. Look for appealing quirks, he added.

If someone has clearly made an effort to dress up, this should be noted immediately. “I adore that pastel blue blazer,” he told one older man, whose face lit up. Keep it upbeat, short and keep moving, so people are reassured that you don’t have an agenda, Mr McCabe said.

PRAISING A FRIEND OR A LOVED ONE? BE SPECIFIC. If you’re complimenting someone you know, try to make it distinctive, said Dr Barbara Fredrickson, the director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Instead of saying that you like a person’s laugh, describe how it makes you feel. (“Hearing you laugh makes me want to laugh, too.”) Or, if you’re complimenting something someone has done, explain why you admire it, Dr Fredrickson said.

“Instead of just saying, ‘Oh, what a great dinner you made,’” she said, “you can say, ‘You’re always so good at finding a new recipe and being creative.’ ”

DON’T SECOND-GUESS YOURSELF. If you have a positive thought about someone, Dr Fredrickson said, consider sharing it. Even better, look for opportunities to slip a compliment into your conversation.

Most people are “in the grip of their inner critic,” Mr McCabe said. “But if you can give someone a good compliment — that you mean — you kind of give their inner critic a right hook.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.