Kandie: Kate + Andie +1

Hi, stargazers. So, the news is out – you read it in TODAY T first. Kate Pang and Andie Chen got married on Sunday and are expecting a baby, with Kate 10 weeks pregnant.

Here’s the full story of Caldecott’s latest pairing: Kandie – and their impending bundle of joy.

Q: Where does the story start?

Andie: The gist of it is, basically, we’ve been dating for slightly more than a year. Like I’ve said before, on my side, I will not reveal my love life. We both agreed that keeping a low profile is the best way to keep a healthy relationship in this industry. We are both quite weird in our own way and we both have very non-traditional mindsets. I never thought that I could be so in sync with any female. Because with my past experiences, dating means a lot of tolerating or rolling of eyes. But with her, that doesn’t seem to happen at all, almost. More than infatuated love, it’s a sense of overwhelming ease. It’s just very easy and it’s like, ‘Yeah, I can do this for the rest of my life’.

So once that realization came to me, I talked to her about it and we both decided that we wanted to be life partners. But like I said, we are not a very traditional couple so we didn’t really get down to saying, ‘We have to get married, we have to ROM’ or anything at all. It doesn’t help that we are traveling around a lot. And so we didn’t set a date on when we’re going to get married. Actually we both don’t believe in having to get married to have kids or have a family at all. That’s our mindset, to be frank. So until a while ago, we talked about having a kid because she’s not very young. (Kate pretends to stare daggers) I’ve been talking to a few of my friends who got married and had kids and they all tell me that if they know they’re going to get married, they’d rather have their kids earlier because every year, the risk of having an unhealthy kid is higher and higher.

So it just got to a point where we decided to let nature run its course – to put it blatantly, stop with the contraceptives. But as soon as we did that, she, you know. So we are very blessed but also it means it came as a bit of a surprise, like, ‘Oh, it’s so quickly’. So once we have the baby we feel that it’s too big a secret to keep and we also want to share this blessing with everyone. It’s not just between us any more. So that brings us here.

Q: Did you start dating when you played lovers in Break Free?

Andie: After, lah. We didn’t like start like a normal couple –

Kate: In Joys Of Life we were very friendly but because most of the time in Singapore, after I wrap a show, I don’t really hang out with my cast mates. Then we filmed in Malaysia and because we were in a different country, everyone took care of one another. Also because there were only a few of us actors so I guess we talked to each other more and shared our problems. That’s when we found that we have similar habits and personalities. Slowly I realized that he wasn’t the person I had thought he was. Andie gives the impression that he is a bad boy but really he is very down-to-earth and I feel he’s very sincere.

My views on relationships are that I don’t mind being single all my life – it’s okay if I don’t get married. I was also fine with the idea of being a single mother. Because I felt very insecure with relationships. But when I’m with him, I feel he’s very dependable. I am a person who gives up and avoids easily. Sometimes when there are quarrels, my insecurity makes me want to give up. But he knows how to win me over and win my trust. I feel I can rebuild my confidence in romantic relationships. It’s like I’ve returned to the past. You can love someone and not think about anything else but maybe when every relationship doesn’t end well, you feel, ‘I’d rather not have anything’. But he gave me the feeling that I could re-think that notion.

Q: You both told the media you felt like puking at the thought of playing lovers in Break Free. What changed?

Kate: We really didn’t understand each other then.

Andie: Nor did we want to!

Kate: He’s very caustic. And so am I. So during Joys Of Life we teased and made fun of each other.

Andie: I made fun of her by saying she was old.

Kate: He and Alien Huang would say that I’m not like a girl. Or we’d just fight. They didn’t treat me like a girl. I think they were way more friendly to Xin Ru and Rui En. They were especially violent towards me. Actually everyone was like that to me, even Huang Wenyong.

Andie: You are the problem, then! Basically, in my past experience, almost all my relationships began with being completely smitten by the girl and everything driven very passionately and emotionally – and then it just fizzles out. Overwhelming emotions, obsession – then it usually doesn’t end very well. For her, it really is a very gradual build-up. Every week it’s like, ‘Wait a minute, it’s working. Eh, really? Yeah, it’s working.’ It just came to a point where I couldn’t deny that it was just okay. I mean, some would say that I am a bit young especially in this line to be married at all but the very fact that I’m doing it with her makes me feel like, ‘Yeah, okay lah, we’re doing this, it’s no big deal because it’s with her so everything’s okay.’ I mean, she gives me an intensely calming feeling, like I can just do anything I want and she’ll be there. So I appreciate that.

Kate: But we looked back and said that back then when we were filming Joys Of Life, we never imagined we would get together. It feels icky.

Andie: I remember thinking, ‘This girl is so ugly.’

Kate: Now you have to look at me for the rest of your life.

Andie: But now I am mesmerised when I look at you! So, in Malaysia, we didn’t date but then we slowly started to feel that we could get along with each other.

Kate: And you realized I was a good homemaker!

Andie: A little. I’m very used to being the giving one in the relationship. I’m not saying that my past girlfriends were not giving, but I’m very willing to do a lot of things like compromise my time. But with her, she’s just so good with housekeeping –

Kate: He was looking for a maid.

Andie: To be fair, I do feel very taken care of when I’m with her. She cooks and then she cleans. You know I’m a bit of a clean freak, right? So is she. So everything just feels very comfortable and I know where things are and how she does things. Everything is just second nature.

Q: You mean in her house?

Andie: In both our places.

Kate: A lot of people come to my house because I cook for them.

Andie: In either my or her house. We help each other clean house. And we both like everything in its place.

Kate: And he’s obedient. I have many rules but he abides by them, like, you must wipe your hands dry after you wash them. And you have to wash with soap. He follows my rules.

Q: Are you worried that people will say you were lying about your relationship status?

Andie: I was lying, what. I mean, I believe that you have to choose your battles and like I said I’m very frank about everything, and I’ve been very frank to all the reporters: That I’m not going to talk about my love life. If you’re still going to ask me, I’m just going to say no, lah. I mean, that’s as an honest an answer as I can give. And if you’re still going to say I’m a fraud, then that’s up to you. There’s nothing I can do about it. And I feel I’ve been as honest as I possibly can. If I have to choose between protecting my loved ones and pleasing the public, I’ll have to choose protecting my loved ones. If I can do both, great, but if I can’t, I’ll always choose protecting my family first.

Kate: The way he denies it is more resolute and convincing. He’ll say, ‘No way. Impossible.’ I am more timid because I’m afraid to lie but I don’t want to tell the truth either. So I just try to avoid discussing the matter. And I try not to give direct answers. But I have told reporters that if I get married I’d be willing to share that with everyone. Dating – no need.

Q: Why get married now, then?

Kate: Logistically, we’re thinking of the child because you have to give it a complete family and when it comes to the law—

Andie: It doesn’t help that legally we are not married.

Kate: Because we thought of getting married before but after trying to look into the procedure, it was too much of a hassle. So we thought, ‘We’ll do it later when we have time.’

Andie: Our personalities are such that we are very practical people, to the extreme that anything that is just a little bit tedious we’ll feel that it’s just not worth it any more.

Q: So you’re lazy?

Andie: We are. Oh, very lazy. In certain things. So when it came to getting married, we actually went online to check what we’d have to do to get married, about six months ago. By the time we reached Page Three of the website, we were like, ‘Okay. We’re not going to do this.’ Because we don’t need a piece of paper to prove that we have already made a commitment to each other. Both verbally and mentally and psychologically, we both know that we are in it for the long haul. But now, with the baby, we’re talking about Medisave and educational fees. I have to do it for the kid. And also I don’t know about her but on my side, as a husband, she’s a public figure and it’s my duty to make sure she doesn’t have people talking about her, regardless of what her mindset is.

Kate: The troublesome bit is that I am not Singaporean so if we want to talk about practical things, we’d like our own home and I’d like to be a PR here. So we still need to get married. We can’t just say, ‘We’ve decided to be together for the rest of our lives and that’s that.’ We still have to go through the processes.

Andie: Let’s say we are filthy rich and we can live off whatever we have. We don’t care that a plate of fried rice is a hundred bucks. Then we will not do any of this at all. We’ll just send the kid to whatever school we want and whatever doctor we want. In an imaginary perfect world, that would be what we would love to do. And before, we didn’t even think about it. You don’t think about it until it happens. So when it happens, ‘Okay. Now let’s think about it.’ So we started checking on the medical fees and all these practical problems. Then we realised that, ‘Yeah, we need to get this legalized’.

Kate: I think that’s right because the law is there to protect people, so everyone has to follow some rules and customs, otherwise society will be messed up by people with personalities like us!

Q: What would you say to people who are quick to judge this as a shotgun marriage?

Kate: Lots of people do it. We’re not the first.

Andie: If you want to put it in technical terms, it’s true. It is exactly that. But I don’t really care what they think to begin with. We know where we are and we know what we have been through, so that is enough for us.

Q: How did you discover the pregnancy?

Kate: I didn’t know so I did my regular workout with the punching bag. There was spotting for a day. I thought it might be my period but it went away after a day so I thought it was weird because it had never happened before. So I told him, ‘Maybe we should do a test’.

Andie: She was just half joking so we didn’t bear it in mind. Then we were driving past a gas station and I was like, ‘Okay, let’s go and get a—’ And she said, ‘Huh, really? You really want to do this?’ But I went down and I got it. And then we went home and did a test and we messed it up. We didn’t know whether it was negative or positive because initially it was negative. 15 minutes later, it became positive.

Kate: It didn’t seem accurate.

Andie: And then we decided to do another test the next day.

Kate: Because I kept feeling that something was not right with me, physically. So I said, ‘Let’s do it one more time, otherwise, I won’t have peace of mind.’

Andie: So the second time we did it, it was like, ‘Okay, yeah.’ And then it was the day that I had to leave for Taiwan.

Kate: October 20-something.

Andie: With that in mind I told her that she would have to go and see a doctor. Once the doctor confirms it we can start to tell our parents. And then I went to Taiwan. So now we are kind of trapped because she can’t fly to Taiwan and I can’t fly back. I’m shooting Lian Zhen Ying Xiong, it’s a Taiwanese police drama that runs one episode every week. It’s been around for more than two years. I play an inspector.

Q: How did you react?

(Both laugh)

Andie: I was very nonchalant about it because I knew that we were, you know. So it was not a surprise for me. I’m like, ‘Yah lah, okay lor, it’s a bit fast, but this is what you want what. You are the one who asked for it, what.’ That was how I felt lah. But she was…

Kate: I like kids and I often half-joked with him, ‘Let’s have a baby.’ Because I’m getting on in years. I just thought, ‘How come so fast?’

Andie: At the start she was like, ‘What shall we do? Should we have it? Should we not?’ She was the one who suggested having a kid in the first place. But after a few days she was very, very sure. I think our parents were still a little bit worried. They were like, ‘Are you sure you’re going to have this kid at this point in time?’ Especially when I’m just starting out in Taiwan. But for me there was no question about it.

Q: How did your parents react?

Andie: We told my brothers first. So what we did was that I shouted for them. We were hiding behind the door waiting for them to open it and we were holding up the pregnancy test with this (blank) expression. Then when we told our parents, our parents were quite happy.

Kate: His father said, ‘Look what you’ve done.’ (Laughs) His mother was clever. His parents and I were Skype-ing with him when he was in Taiwan. Once the chat started his mother said, ‘Well? Are you pregnant?’ His mother guessed it right off the bat.

Andie: Then my father smacked my mother and said, ‘Don’t anyhow say!’ (smacks Kate to demonstrate)

Kate: You’re not allowed to hit me.

Andie: Oh, sorry. My father has been kind of asking me to get married and have kids for a long time. He wants it more than my mum. I can feel it. So he’s the happiest one now. And my grandparents – we haven’t told them yet.

Kate: Because they love chit-chatting with taxi drivers. And the whole network of Singapore taxi drivers will know.

Andie: I think they will be the happiest, lah. My grandfather on my mom’s side and my grandfather on my dad’s side – they tell everyone.

Kate: His grandmother likes to show her grandchildren’s photos off to taxi drivers and say, ‘These are my grandchildren. And this one is a TV actor.’

Andie: She brings my grandma out once in a while.

Kate: I told my dad, ‘I’m pregnant.’ He said, ‘Do you plan on getting married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Oh. When? Let me know and I’ll go over.’ I said, ‘Okay’. My dad’s like that.

Andie: Her sister was funnier. I got along well with her sister in Taiwan.

Kate: I sent my sister a text message saying, ‘Do you still have that stroller I bought you when you had your baby?’ She said, ‘Yes. Why?’ I said, ‘Save it for me.’ She said, ‘Who wants it?’ I said, ‘I’m pregnant.’ She said, ‘For real?’ Because I said it quite tonelessly. She called him immediately.

Andie: She very awkwardly said, ‘Kate said she’s pregnant. Is that true?’ I said, ‘Of course.’ She was like, ‘Oh my god!’ Her reaction was quite extreme.

Kate: My mother was a little worried because she didn’t know him very well and she thinks actors are womanisers and that people in showbiz aren’t good people. My grandma feels that way too. They’re worried that he’ll change his mind and leave me. Because they’ve read or seen a lot of entertainment news and the guys in showbiz aren’t very good. It’s not true, lah.

Andie: It’s too late, anyway!

Q: What sort of preparations have you made for the wedding?

Andie: Honestly, we are both scared of ceremonies so we are going to have a very simple dinner with both our families. And then eventually when we get down to it, we will organize a very closed-door – I won’t even call it a ceremony but maybe a gathering somewhere – it might not even be in Singapore – for our close friends and family. But that will be in a while. Right now we’re just going to arrange for a family dinner as a form of respect to both parties. As for the traditional Chinese ceremony—

Kate: I don’t want to go through the trouble.

Andie: At this point we don’t have any plans for that. It might change. We always have a relaxed attitude towards everything. I think that’s why we have chemistry. We just don’t take life so seriously. It’s just like, ‘Whatever comes our way, we’ll deal with it. There’s nothing that we can’t deal with. It’s just life.’ I think she has that devil-may-care attitude which I find quite attractive.

Q: Has it sunk in that you’re really going to have a baby?

Kate: I’m already starting to learn how to take care of it and teach it to be filial to its mother and to grow up and earn money quickly. And I’m listening to classical music.

Andie: I can’t be there for all her checkups, which is really the main thing that is making it difficult because I really want to be there with her. But there was a checkup during which we could actually see the baby’s heartbeat. It’s like a pink dot on the ultrasound. They took a video for me. That was the moment when it really set in. Like, ‘This is a life now. We’re talking about a life.’

Q: Kate, you’ll have the baby in Taiwan?

Kate: I will go home because it’s expensive to have a baby here. In Taiwan I have insurance so it’s cheaper. And he’s in Taiwan. I feel I need someone to be by my side because you know, expectant mothers can be emotional, and if I don’t have anyone to take it out on, it’ll be really uncomfortable.

Andie: Wahlau eh. You know the mood swings – they’re not kidding, man. And it’s very hard. My family are all very busy. Her family’s in Taiwan and I feel a lot safer that her family is around to take care of her. And I’m there. I mean, I don’t want to be away from her. And she can’t really work anyway.

Q: Kate, how will this affect your career?

Kate: Some jobs I won’t be able to do anymore, like the drama I was supposed to do next year. I’m a little sad about that but I think it’s okay because during this period I can take some courses. He wants me to learn English and I would also like to take some music courses. And decide what our plans are for after the child is born.

Q: So you don’t have any long term plans now?

Kate: No, because it depends on what it’ll be like after the child is born. I think taking care of it is number one. We might stay in Taiwan because there’s no one here who can help out. But I also feel that my work here is very important.

Andie: We are discussing it. This is the main issue we have to talk about in the short term. I don’t believe that a family should be separated so we have to somehow find a way to work this out.

Q: I guess for now it’s more likely that you’ll both be based in Taiwan.

Andie: It just happens that I’m in a very unstable state in my career at this point. It’s difficult to make any decision. One day I’m jobless, one day I’m in a hit series. You just don’t know. For me, the priority comes when the kid has to start his or her education. And then that’s when we have to decide, ‘So how do we want to educate this kid?’

Q: Andie, you’ve always said you don’t like being tied down; at the same time, you’re also a family guy?

Andie: I don’t feel I’m being tied down at all. If anything, I feel very blessed to be with this family. I feel like there’s just this many things that God gives you, basically your family, getting married, having a kid and your career. It’s just a handful of things for a whole lifetime. I think God has given me the right person already. So I just can’t wait to go on with the rest of the stuff, with the kid and the family. By God I mean life, the higher consciousness.

Q: Kate, you probably never imagined you’d meet and marry a Singaporean guy.

Kate: I think Singaporean guys are reliable and well behaved. (Laughs) They can be trusted for a lifetime!

Andie: That’s not what you said before!

Kate: No, I really think Singaporean guys are quite good.

Q: Kate, did you really use to date Jerry Yeo?

Kate: We were very good friends and we cared about each other but I think when it comes to being together, it’s very hard to pin something like that down. I think sometimes when you spend a fair amount of time together, you get along really well. I don’t know how he defined it, but I just feel, we once cared for each other very much. After spending time in each other’s company for a while, our personalities didn’t match. So it began well and ended well.

Q: And Andie, you probably didn’t expect to fall in love with a Taiwanese girl in Singapore after you moved to Taiwan.

Andie: I never thought that I’d be married at 28. I never thought that I’d be a father at 28. But I don’t believe it can feel any more right than this.

Q: Do you feel unprepared?

Andie: There is always homework to do. I don’t believe in bringing up a family or being in a relationship or bringing up a kid without studying. There’s always work to do, lah. I don’t feel unprepared. I just feel that, since I was young, I’d always imagined myself to be the kind of guy who would start to think about marriage when he turned 40. When I was younger I thought I’d be like that. But as I grow older, especially in these past two years, I feel right. When I feel right and then the right person comes into the picture, then I feel very ready for a family. And I feel it’s a very positive thing for an actor to be able to find life so quickly because there are just so many more experiences that – I mean, I’ve been living the single life for 28 years. I already know what that’s like. But do I know what it’s like to be a full-fledged husband? I don’t know. So you have to take that step before you actually experience those things and I think experiencing those things is very important for an actor.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to say?

Andie: We want to thank those people who have been very supportive. Along the timeline we have revealed this to different people and – the blessings that we’ve gotten. Like I said, we are both very calm, very, ‘This is life’ kind of people. But the kind of excitement we’ve gotten from our friends and families is very touching. And the kind of support especially when I’m not around – there are some friends and family who have been taking care of her.

Kate: I am thankful to (my managers at MediaCorp) because they have had to lie to the production unit and say I hurt my back. I feel bad about that. And I feel bad about holding up production on some shows. I hope everyone can forgive me.

Andie: It’s all my fault. Don’t blame her.

Kate: Look what you’ve done!

Andie: Actually I’m a bit worried because I was not exactly the healthiest baby around. I was born with sensitivities. And she’s not young.

Kate: He’s very mean.

Andie: Eh, it’s my privilege. I get to do this for the rest of my life. There’s no question that people are going to immediately say, ‘This is a shotgun marriage. Full stop. That’s it. But basically we are hoping that we can just let them know, I mean for people who actually care to look deeper, that this is a very happy thing for us. And if we can share, if they are willing to give us their blessing, then that will be great. One main reason also because we want to be surrounded by blessing and not secretively trying to hide things and being uncomfortable. We just want everybody to be happy about this happy thing that is happening to us.