Parents turn into bullies as Malaysian schools adopt ‘gentle’ approach

KUALA LUMPUR — A magistrate’s court in Penang recently sentenced a mother of three to six months’ jail and fined her RM2,000 (S$636) 
for slapping a Malay-language teacher at a school in the state back in 2015 after learning that the teacher had pinched her 10-year-old son for being slow in class.

In the same year, a disciplinary teacher in Sibu, Sarawak, was assaulted by a student after having reprimanded him during school assembly. In March 2016, a physical education teacher in Malacca made a police report after being assaulted by his student’s father. Two months earlier, a teacher in Mersing, Johor, lodged a report when her student’s father attacked her in the teachers’ lounge.

Corporal punishment is no longer the order of the day, as teachers have been told to adopt a gentler approach when it comes to disciplining students.

Deputy Education Minister P Kamalanathan said last year that corporal punishment cannot be used, even on pupils with serious disciplinary problems. “A teacher cannot cause harm or hurt a pupil. That is the main rule. No matter what the reason, you cannot lay your hands on a child. If you have a problematic kid, there are always counselling sessions, there are always parents, talk to them,” he was reported as saying.

Children used to fear being punished in school for fear of getting an additional beating at home for misbehaving and disrespecting their teachers. Today, the tables seemed to have been turned, with teachers at the mercy of parents.

Have Malaysians lost respect for their educators?

Parent Action Group for Education Malaysia chairman Noor Azimah Abdul Rahim said compared with the past, children’s rights are more protected. “In Malaysian schools, public caning was accepted 20 years ago. The punishment is only accepted today when it is conducted in a private setting and guided by stringent rules and regulations.”

She believes the recent court case in Penang was isolated, and urged parents to build strong rapport with teachers and be involved in their children’s development.

Parents, she said, generally did not endorse delinquent behaviour among their children, but may have missed signs of problems because they are busy.

“This is when it is important for parents to keep an open mind and seek an amicable solution to any problems that might arise.”

Ms Noor Azimah urged parents to be firm yet loving, instead of mollycoddling their kids.

“When a child misbehaves, it is often a manifestation of things that happen at home,” she said. “Parents are often guilty of ignoring their children by perpetually being on their smartphones, or being too focused on something else. They fail to realise that their children just want to hear a word of praise, engage in conversation, or crave eye contact. We, as parents, have to constantly check ourselves.”

A Klang school headmistress, who only wanted to be known as Ms Chang, said she has seen “countless” cases of parental “meddling” over the years, and students have become “more rebellious”. She said one of her female teachers had her car vandalised because she had been tough on the students in her class. The teacher had also received a letter from the neighbourhood gang the students belonged to.

“I often get scared by their rowdy behaviour, which I believe comes from not getting much attention at home. We used to get respect from the kids and their parents. These days, we are always on the losing side no matter how noble our intention is,” said Ms Chang. “It got so disheartening that I even had to advise my teachers to let some of the disciplinary matters slide ... It has gone to the point that we can’t even correct them verbally because we were told that the children would be emotionally scarred.”

Mr Hector John, 72, who has been teaching for more than 50 years, said the Penang case could have been nipped in the bud by school management.

“If a kid is slow, then it is the teacher’s job to guide him. There should not have been any form of abuse in the first place. In my opinion, the school authorities should not have let this situation escalate. It’s really bad management.”

While teachers have the right to discipline students, it should be exercised properly, Mr John said.

“Teachers have a duty to teach, guide and set a good example. If they are doing the opposite, the school authorities need to be aware. Parents have the right to go to the headmaster to make their concerns heard.”

The president of Registered Child Care Providers Malaysia, Ms P H Wong, believes that it is important to understand the underlying reasons for a child’s misbehaviour. “What are the circumstances that may have led to the child behaving as such? How can we deal with children who are struggling with problems, or are delinquent?” she said.

“Delinquency does not just happen. It is the result of other actions or inaction by people around the child, whether at home, in school, or in communities.”

She said there was no difference in the way punishment was carried out today compared with 20 years ago, noting that Malaysian parents still “hit and punish their children in the name of discipline” despite research showing that corporal punishment only induces violence and fear.

“Parenting is even more difficult today only because the support system, which used to be the community itself, is no longer available to young parents struggling to make a living,” she said.

Pampering children or keeping them in a sheltered environment would only hinder their development, she added. “Understand, listen and be a friend to your children. Never forget that you are a role model for your child.” THE NEW STRAITS TIMES