Ride On (PG)

Starring Jackie Chan, Liu Haocun, Kevin Guo

Directed by Larry Yang

Jackie Chan is the father of a horse.

No kidding. He calls the animal “son”, and refers to himself as “daddy”.

“Come on, son,” he tells the horse, “You can be somebody.”

Chan plays Luo, a previously famous Hong Kong movie stuntman, aka Master Luo, who's washed-out, debt-ridden and scrapes a living selling rides to uninterested tourists. He also trains his big pet to become a stunt beast on film sets dodging explosions like the charger in War Horse. Just like Daddy-O.

Basically, the man is playing a pitiable, fictionalised version of himself in a movie-within-a-movie setting. The gag is that film directors who hire him for horse stunts regard him as old and useless. But we know of course, since Jackie is always Jackie despite looking worn out, that this here is the greatest DIY daredevil ever with a spectacular near-death resume.

Hey, didn’t his real-life kid, Jaycee Chan, try to go down this same action-pic career path? Did Jackie cry with Jaycee the way he sobs nose to nose with Red Hare, the horse, as his emotional support animal? Just wondering.

The spirited steed doesn't legally belong to Luo. Corporate suits keep coming to his rundown barn-stable abode — cue cheekily choreographed fights — to yank his best pal away.

To juice up the family resemblance further, there's a father-estranged daughter angle too. Luo neglected his daughter, Bao (Liu Haocun from Cliff Walkers), as an absentee dad while chasing his own dream. She hates him but he needs her help as a bright law student to stop Red Hare from being repossessed. While fending off a bunch of inept debt collectors in goofy kung fu brawls as a comical man-horse tag team.

Kinda like Chan's troubled relationship with his own separated daughter, Etta Ng.

Will both actual offspring download their dad’s new pic into their phones as a must-see? Just saying.

Here's the deal. Writer-director Larry Yang (Mountain Cry) is a big horse-movie fan. Apparently, he saw a documentary about HK stuntmen and felt inspired to pair Chan, after umpteen adventures with humans, with an animal in time for the screen legend’s 69th birthday (on Apr 7). Chan's role as Master Monkey in the Kung Fu Panda series presumably doesn't count. The horse, by the way, is a retired racehorse from Macau that comes with its own backup stunt horses.

Ostensibly, Ride On is a man-beast buddy comedy. The odd couple goes through escapades thick and thin on movie sets. Luo argues about a jump being unsafe. Red Hare throws up a temper. While Bao has a change of heart after seeing her dad's struggles and joins as a third wheel to help out and turn this into a threesome.

Man and horse are stubborn creatures. The gal is an animal rights advocate who insists, against her father's wishes, that a horse is a horse of course and never a stuntman. For laughs, her dweeby lawyer-boyfriend, Mickey (Kevin Guo), tags along nervously to be subjected to a funny Drunken Master torture treatment to determine whether he's a worthy suitor. “Can you fight?” Luo questions him sternly.

This father-daughter interplay looks manufactured however given that, again, Jackie is simply too Jackie-familiar. He seems to have a better connection with the animal because it isn't much of a neigh-sayer, plus he gets to sit on it. Still, there's so much fondness left over from Chan's work over the decades that we'll just, er, trot along here.

But actually, Ride On is really a homage to Chan's huge catalogue of death-defying thrills in modern cinema.

In wink-wink referencing, costumes echo Drunken Master II, Dragon Lord and Armour Of God II: Operation Condor. An exciting stunt scene sees Luo and his hard-kicking partner battle an axe-wielding mob swarming a tram car. Another setup forces him to have second thoughts, mid-gallop, about the unpredictable danger while charging headlong towards potential disaster.

Hold on. Jackie Chan doubting his immortal world-famous career choice?

It's a fascinating insight here. Along with the idea that he's an unreasonable, outdated “action, jump, hospital” old-school practitioner who refuses safety harnesses and special effects despite even China's box-office champ Wu Jing urging him to stay safe.

“I'm here to make your life's work. Not film your death,” the latter pops up as a grateful disciple giving his reckless master a chance to shine in his new movie. Unfortunately, these two action icons' first-ever meeting on the big screen is strictly cordial. So there's no Wolf Warrior vs Fearless Hyena.

Now, a JC tribute film is bound to land at some point. But coming saddled — no pun intended — with a horse?

As an unexpected, essentially makeshift legacy show therefore, Ride On is harmless, lightweight and mildly amusing. An equine-sanguine one-trick pony that's easy to watch in a mostly sentimental, bordering on mushy, typical Jackie Chan-movie way.

There are nostalgic throwback clips of his greatest stunt hits such as Police Story and Armour Of God —  including real outtakes that show him severely injured — which Chan himself views with wistful longing as though it's a Cinema Paralyse-so highlight reel.

He's pictured as being just a used-to-be incredible action stuntman here. But we aren't duped about who this man really is.

Heck, we're not even sure what time period this film is set in. It looks like it's trapped in a time warp as Chan takes on old-style goons in old-style streets lined with old-style food stalls and next thing you know, he pops up in a modern Chinese city.

It's an unevenness you'd expect from a Jackie Chan flick that often coasts not on brain matter but on nothing-really-matters. Except for those terrific stunts and imaginative fights which these days, due to creaking bones, need more stand-ins and a lot more medical plasters.

“Jumping down is easy, stepping down is hard,” the master reveals in an honest bit of candor.

A proper bona-fide summation of the legend's amazing feats is clearly in order.

And next time, we shouldn't be horsing around. (3/5 stars)