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Rayson Tan On Why His Son Doesn’t Tell People Who His Parents Are And The Time He Had To Apologise To The Teen For Beating Him

The actor's son really treasures his privacy.

The actor's son really treasures his privacy.

The actor's son really treasures his privacy.

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According to Rayson Tan, the best way to teach your kids how to behave is to set a good example for them. “I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and I don’t use vulgarities,” the 55-year-old actor tells 8days.sg when we chat with him at the imaging session of upcoming Mediacorp drama, Super Dad.

If you’ve read our interview with Rayson's wife Chen Liping from a year ago, you would know that when it comes to their 18-year-old son Zavier, Aiyoyo's only responsibility is to let him eat, drink and be merry”. Which means that Rayson is in charge of everything else, especially Zavier’s studies. And it seems he’s doing a pretty good job.

Not much is known about their low-profile son, except that he’s fit , at least according to Liping, and that he is currently a year two IB programme student at St Joseph’s Institution.

In fact, so under-the-radar and private is Zavier that he has zero posts on Instagram.

1 of 5 Meet Zavier

Rayson is also apprehensive talking about his son, offering in Chinese that he’ll “say what [he] can”.

“Uh, he doesn’t like to tell anyone that [we're his parents] ‘cos he's afraid of the inconvenience it may cause”, Rayson lets on to 8days.sg. “The last time he said it, people asked him for autographs and he found it very annoying.” Rayson also says that Zavier rarely brings friends home, “unless they’re really close”.

It could be possible that Zavier has been influenced by his parents, who have always preferred to keep their personal life private. Rayson says that he and Liping, who he's been married to for 22 years, “are very traditional and that they don't like taking selfies.

“There wasn’t Instagram last time, so why do we have to post something now?” Rayson laughs. “We’re just not used to it lah! As for when was the last time he and Liping went on a date? Dating? What? I can’t remember the last time we went on a date. It’s been so long. We’re such an old couple already. Don’t need lah!” he laughs.

True enough, a quick scroll through Rayson’s IG shows only a few pics with Liping, mostly taken when they were working on the same drama. There is also hardly any hint of Zavier, except for some pics of them holidaying in Japan in 2019.

2 of 5 No nonsense

8 DAYS: When we chatted with Liping last year, she said that her only responsibility as a parent is to make your son happy.
RAYSON TAN: (Rolls eyes) I have no idea why she said that! (Laughs) She actually does monitor him lor! She would update me on his progress whenever I’m overseas and I would come back and take over.

Haha. So is Zavier closer to you or Liping?
We are equally close to him. I don’t know what he shares with Liping, but he would share with me stuff about his school and if he’s feeling stressed. I’m more of a listener. I would also remind him that his well-being is more important than academic success.

Would you describe yourself as a strict father?
I’m chill, yet firm on certain things, such as his studies. I would remind him to manage his school work, so that he doesn’t cram everything in at the last minute because that will affect his health. And he would also not do well. As for everything else, I just let him be.

Do you help him in any way with his studies?
Only with Chinese because he can cope with the rest. Anyway, I also can’t teach him anything else. (Laughs) I did get him a tutor, though. He has math and science tuition. Other than that, he’s fine.

3 of 5 Father and son

Zavier seems like a very well-balanced kid. So do you have any secret parenting tips to impart to our readers?
There is no secret. (Laughs) But I do believe that I need to set a good example for my kid in order for him to grow up to become a decent person. Even now, I need to constantly remind myself to be a good father… I am also learning from my son at the same time too. For example, if I do something wrong, like if I accidentally blamed him for something he didn’t do, I would apologise, ask for his forgiveness and change. So it would be a lesson for the both of us. That we have to put down our ego and admit it when we’re in the wrong. Really! I’m not a traditional father who thinks I’m always right.

Do you remember any incident where you had to apologise to your son?
(Laughs) I forgot the details but I remember it was something about someone messing up the toilet and I thought it was my son, so I lashed out and caned him. Turns out, it was my helper’s fault. (Laughs) She confessed after she saw me beating him, so I apologised to him. We grew closer from that incident and he still reminds me of it until this day. I can’t believe I’m telling you this! (Laughs)​​​​​​​

  • 4 of 5 PG only

    Would you say Zavier is very well-behaved?
    (Laughs) Yes, and he doesn’t use vulgarities. (Laughs) As a dad, I have never spoken a single vulgarity to him. I lead by example. I don’t smoke, and I don’t even let my son drink. When he goes out with his friends, he just goes to the movies or goes shopping. He doesn’t club and drink, or at least that’s what I think lah! (Laughs) He is also disciplined enough to come home before midnight. After all, he’s still a teen and he’s still growing and learning. Growing up is a process and everyone makes mistakes so the best I can do is to advise him to be a good person. Having a good character is more important than excelling in his studies.

    So what makes a “good person” to you?
    Integrity is very important. Honesty and love too. We are a Christian household and we put a lot of emphasis on these qualities, and Zavier embodies them too.

    What’s the most heartwarming thing he’s ever done for you?
    Once, when I was sleeping, I felt someone tugging on the blanket and then covering me with it. It turned out to be Zavier, and he was only two or three years old at that time. It was quite touching. (Laughs) I think he must have learned it from me as I always used to cover him with the blanket when he slept. Another touching thing he did for me was when he wrote me a letter when he was in primary school. He did something wrong and apologised in writing, asking me for forgiveness. I still have that letter! Every now and then, I would take out the letter and remind him to continue to have the same attitude when he is an adult.

    Does he still write you letters?
    (Guffaws) Of course not! At most, he’ll verbally apologise begrudgingly. (Laughs) He’s grown up already and has an image to upkeep!

    5 of 5 Rayson and Liping

    Photos: Aik Chen/ 8days.sg & Mediacorp Photo Unit and Rayson Tan's Instagram
    Super Dad will be available on demand for free in June on meWATCH. The drama premieres Jun 29, 9pm on Ch 8.

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