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Why Doesn’t Rui En’s Dad Want Her To Support Him?

The actress also talks to us about growing old-old and why this topic gives her anxiety.

The actress also talks to us about growing old-old and why this topic gives her anxiety.

The actress also talks to us about growing old-old and why this topic gives her anxiety.

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“I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?” says Rui En as she slides next to us. She’s right. We actually can’t remember the last time we saw the actress but it was certainly before she took her self-imposed year-long break from work. Seeing Rui En now kinda feels like meeting your friend who has just spent a summer abroad — she has that post-holiday glow and her luscious locks are coiffed in her trademark sideswept ’do. But no, the actress, all breezy and radiant today, hasn’t just returned from a vacation. In fact, quite the opposite. She was just seen on TV in Hello From The Other Side, and she’s now deep in the throes of filming the 130-ep Old is Gold. Which is why 8days.sg is chatting with the ever-eloquent actress today.

1 of 6 Look this Rui

In Old is Gold, Rui En, 38, plays a woman who not only has deal with an estranged husband played by Chen Hanwei and a blossoming May-December romance with Xu Bin, but also gets tasked to run a nursing home, much to the chagrin of its head nurse Felicia Chin. This sparks a rivalry of Bette Davis-Joan Crawford proportions, a plot line that delights Rui En who says she has never played a role that comes into so much conflict with another female character. “It’s like office politics so it’s all very fresh for me,” she beams to us during our chat after Old is Gold's press conference. (Wait, what about The Dream Makers where she engaged in an epic throw down with Jeanette Aw?)

2 of 6 Rui En and Felicia Chin

But thanks to Old is Gold, the star has become chummy with her onscreen rival (and fellow OG Seven Princess) Feli, who during our interview, skips over to Rui En and whispers something in her ear. Turns out, Feli was asking Rui En if she could reveal to a reporter something that happened on set. “Of course can! So silly this girl,” giggles Rui En. “Just checking mah…” replies Feli.

3 of 6 Dad's the way

With the drama revolving around the residents of a nursing home, the topic of growing old — like Pioneer Generation Old — is clearly on everyone’s minds. Especially Rui En.

8 DAYS: What worries do you have about old age?
RUI EN: So many! Who doesn’t fear the unknown? Who doesn’t fear uncertainty? One of my biggest fears, which I think is unfounded, is growing old alone. It’s a fear that pops up now and then. But if you look at the reality of it, a lot of people actually do [grow old alone]. You could be married but your partner might pass away and, you know, it’s normally the guy that goes first...
Oh, thanks…
(Guffaws) No….. I mean statistically! It’s true that women outlive men. But it’s going to be a fear, albeit an unfounded one, that I have to conquer.
There are people who have kids so that there’ll be someone to care for them when they’re old. Is this something that has crossed your mind?
No, it hasn’t. Basically, the way I was brought up… it wasn’t conventional. My dad isn’t the sort of person who wants me to support him. I was brought up in this type of progressive family. To the point where I wanted to buy insurance for him and he said he didn’t want [me to]. So I was brought up in the sense that I have to rely on myself and not rely on kids.
So when you give your dad money, he rejects it?
Yeah. It’s quite frustrating. (Laughs)
Has he always been like this?
Yeah… Ever since I started working and was earning money. So I remember the time when I wanted to buy him insurance but he didn’t want it and we had like a tiff. He was just like, “No, I don’t expect my daughter to support me or do things like that.” But I try to pay for everything that I can. Though he doesn’t like it when I pay for the big things. Weird right?
Is he still working?
Oh, he’s retired already. He has left the country and is living in New Zealand now.
So how have you prepared yourself for old age?
You know what, I’m not the kind of person who likes to think too far ahead ’cos it scares me. The unknown is very, very scary. The more I think about stuff like that, the more nervous I get. So I try to go about life one day at a time lah. Whatever God’s plan is for me, it will be okay.
Are you taking better care of yourself now so that when you grow old, you would be healthy?
Not consciously. I mean I do what I can to be healthy, especially with our bad filming schedules. But it’s not a conscious effort where I’m like, when I grow old, I will be this and that. Sometimes even the healthiest people get cancer, you know what I mean? It’s the luck of the draw.

  • 4 of 6 Age appropriate

    What sort of life do you envision yourself to have at like 70?
    Your questions are actually causing me anxiety, you know (laughs). I see myself being independent. My grandma, when she was still able to, would take the bus to go to church, or take the bus to go meet her friends. [Ed: Rui En’s grandma passed away a few years ago.] I mean these are women I really respect. They are very independent. Their husbands have passed away and they are making very worthwhile lives for themselves in old age. So I look up to that.
    What age would you like to retire?
    That’s so hard to say! I would be okay with working but at the same time, I would be okay with doing nothing too. (Shakes her head) I couldn’t answer that.
    The whole period when you took a break from work, did you enjoy it?
    Oh, I loved it. I have to be honest. Before that, I was the sort of woman who would be like, “I need to work!”, “Oh, I’ll never be a tai tai!” Then I took a break and I was like, “Ah, it’s actually pretty good. Pretty awesome!” So it’s very hard for me to say now. I would be okay with retiring now, man.
    Really?
    Okay lah, not now lah (laughs).
    Where would you retire?
    I would love to go overseas.
    Where?
    New Zealand. I’ve been there a couple of times ’cos my dad is there and it’s just… I literally am the sort of person who can live a farmer’s life and not do anything (laughs).
    Is your dad living a farmer’s life now?
    He’s living a very rural, a very off-the-grid life.
    He has Internet right?
    Yes (laughs). He’s surviving on the Internet (laughs). That’s the only thing that’s probably keeping him sane. But I’m the sort of person who can do nothing. I’m very okay with staying home and not going out.

  • 5 of 6 An inspiration

    Do you enjoy going to New Zealand ’cos no one knows you there?
    You know that whole no-one-knows-me thing, it doesn’t bother me now after so many years. I’ve tasted the sweet and the bitter side of that. And it’s become a non-issue for me. I mean, I go about my life here like anybody.
    So what do you do there when you visit him?
    Nothing! You just slow down and you have time to do stuff like read and not necessarily on your phone. But actual book reading which is very rare now. I also bought cold weather running gear to run in the cold which is incredibly hard. And take road trips… It’s super shiok. But the disclaimer is that if you were to actually retire there, you would need to have an amount of money saved up to be able to have that kind of life lah.
    What’s your scary age?
    I guess 60?
    What do you want to be at 60?
    Aiyoh… your questions giving me so much anxiety. (Laughs) These are literally stuff that I never thought of before because I’m a one-day-at-a-time girl. What would I be at 60… (ponders)
    A grandmother?
    That sounds nice. I’ve become quite domesticated now. I would love to be surrounded by people I love and people who care for me and who I care for. Relationships for me are the most important thing now. So at that age, be it with grandchildren or not, it would be good that I can be someone with a lot of friends and family.
    We know you were very close to your grandma, what did she teach you about life?
    I saw her resilience. And I saw her… these are people who have been through the World War. And they’ve been through all kinds of things, living at that age with no electricity. They were very poor. So I just have the utmost respect for her. The ability to bounce back from setbacks and adversity (smiles). And still living a very worthwhile life. Even in old age when her health started to break down and go haywire, she became very religious and she managed to find inner peace through that. She’s a woman who to me is what a woman should be.



  • 6 of 6 The cast of Old is Gold

    Photos: Alvin Teo/ 8days.sg

    Old is Gold debuts Tuesday, May 28, 7.30pm on Ch 8. You can also catch it first on Toggle now.

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