Malaysian actress Yeo Yann Yann has been in a long-distance marriage for most of her married life.

While she’s based in Singapore, her husband, action director Ma Yuk Sing is based in Hongkong. When they got married in 2012, Yann Yann, who also gave birth to their daughter Vera the same year), moved to Hongkong only to return to Singapore a year later.

The actress revealed in this week’s episode of Quan Yifeng’s talkshow Hear U Out that her move back was because of postpartum depression, which got so bad she was suicidal.

“I realised that I needed help when I thought of ending my life after an argument with him,” the 43-year-old confessed. “[What we were arguing about] wasn’t even important. After I calmed down, I asked myself why I wanted to kill myself. I should have been very happy because I had a child and my career was going well. I told him that I couldn’t continue living in Hongkong. I had to move back to Singapore, or I’d end up in a fist fight with someone on the streets.”

Without her family or friends beside her, her depression spiralled out of control.

“When you’re ill, you’ll think that every decision you make is bad,” Yann Yann said. “Even after I came back to Singapore, I found a pre-school that I enrolled my daughter in and I spent my days spacing out at home (…) None of my friends knew about my depression because I felt that nobody would be able to help me.”

After consulting a doctor, she started taking TCM and going for jogs on her own. Her condition affected Vera, whom Yann Yann said was timid when she was younger.

She didn’t dare express her thoughts, and I told myself that I had to heal myself if I wanted her to live a good life,” Yann Yann said. “After a while, I started to ask my friends for help. I think this is very important. Once I took the first step, I started asking around for recommendations for doctors or for someone to work out with me.”

Yann Yann is now in a much better place. Though there have been naysayers who find it weird that she and her husband spend so little time together, the actress explains that she and Yuk Sing both decided that they should do what’s best for themselves. And because of their busy schedules, Yann Yann and Yuk Sing only spend three months in a year together.

“My husband spends most of his time working overseas, so I’m fully in charge of our daughter’s upbringing,” Yann Yann laughed. “Even when I was giving birth, I was the one who drove myself to the hospital (…) He’s been working non-stop for the past 30 years. The longest break he’s ever taken was a month-long. I don’t want him to change for me.”

Watch Part 1 and Part 2 of Yann Yann's interview on Hear U Out.

Photos: Yeo Yann Yann's Instagram, Mediacorp