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Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
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Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best

Which one of the six Predator movies — including the latest The Predator — doesn't get to the chopper?

Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
Get to the chopper!
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
Picking up mere moments after AVP: Alien vs Predator, this is the worst and the darkest of the Predator movies. By dark, I don’t just mean the narrative tone, but the visual palette as well. It’s waaay too dark. Special effects artists-turned-directors Greg and Colin Strause hired a cinematographer (hello, Daniel C Pearl!) who was allergic to light apparently. With the acid-blooded snapper-head xenomorph and the mandible-fitted dreadlocked head-hunter constantly slugging it out in the perpetual rain and endless silhouettes, the audience has a frustrating time making sense from the senseless. The lightning fast edits only make the pandemonium even more confusing. If you can’t see Jack, what’s the fudging point? Besides, there’s no one else in the no-name cast to root for. Not a fun movie at all.
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
Though the Alien and Predator mash-up was common in comic books and video games since the 1990s, fans had to wait for more than a decade before the two iconic monsters clash on the big screen. Sadly, this isn’t the royal rumble they had hoped for. Then again, it’s unrealistic to expect greatness from Paul WS Anderson, the director of Resident Evil. When your stars are two guys in rubber suits who say a word but snarl and salivate a lot, it’s up to the poor humans (led by Sanaa Lathan) to provide exposition as they run, scream and hide in the shadows. The franchise has none of its predecessors’ scares, thrills and gore (it’s the only PG-rated entry); it isn’t awful, just ordinary. But the one thing Anderson handled well is the cool flashback sequence inspired by Erich von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods.
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
The Stephen Hopkins-helmed, Arnie-free sequel is set in 1997 — the same year Snake Plissken escaped from New York — where Danny Glover’s acrophobic cop and his squad (including the late Bill Paxton) are targeted by the Predator. The cop-vs-aliens combo is entertaining, explosive and nasty, but failed to impress either critics or audiences when it first came out. But it always be remembered for the cameo of the Xenomorph skull mounted on the trophy wall onboard the Predator’s mothership, setting up a cinematic face-off that wouldn’t happen for another 10 years. Elsewhere, Gary Busey, another Lethal Weapon alum, steals a scene or two as Peter Keyes, a Predator-obsessed government scientist. Busey’s son, Jake, is in The Predator, playing Keyes’ son, who’s also into studying the alien hunter.
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
When the 2010 Predators reboot didn’t bring in the numbers the studio had hoped for, the powers that be decided to give it another go, this time under aegis of Shane Black (Iron Man 3). It seemed like a good fit: Black appeared in the original Predator, as Hawkins, other first grunt killed by the space hunter. Black, known for his droll, snappy, salty and insanely quotable dialogue, and his co-scribe Fred Dekker wrote lots of them for an enthusiastic cast (take a bow, Keegan-Michael Key, Sterling K Brown and Moonlight’s Trevante Rhodes). But none of that matters in the third act where the creature-feature turns into a war movie — chaotic, stultifying, and not as fun. The ending, which is kinda similar to the one in Independence Day: Resurgence, suggests that the franchise is headed to a more cartoony direction.
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
While the other Predator movies are set on Earth, this one — produced by Robert Rodriguez and directed by Nimród Antal (Vacancy) — takes place on another planet. The title refers to the space hunters and as well their prey — a motley band of trained killers, including Adrien Brody’s mercenary, Walton Goggins’ death row prisoner, Alice Braga’s Israeli sniper, and Mahershala Ali’s African death squad soldier (another Moonlight alum!). Predators and The Predator share a lot in common: they have an eclectic and game ensemble, Predator-on-Predator mayhem, and Predator hunting dogs. What Predators has which The Predator doesn’t is suspense (the alien hunter doesn’t show up until the 40th minute). That, and a Laurence Fishburne cameo as a survivor suffering from split personality a la Gollum (“I’m the one that got away; the one you don’t [expletive] with”). Bonkers.
Ranking The ‘Predator’ Movies — Including ‘The Predator’ — From The Worst To The Best
It may be an Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle (meaning, he wins no matter how formidable his nemesis), but director John McTiernan, the Michael Bay of the 1980s, still managed to deliver the suspense and tension in spades: by holding back the stealthy intergalactic poacher’s appearance as long as possible a la Jaws. (The heat vision POV shots of the Predator stalking Arnie and his Special Forces squad made it even spookier.) When the monster finally reveals himself in the third act, he’s this unforgettable Rastafarian warrior-inspired “ugly motherf***er” SPFX guru Stan Winston created from scratch mid-shoot after the original design — a cheesy one-eyed red lobster on stilts — was wisely rejected by McTiernan. Combined this with the macho action, larger-than-life characters and the one liners (“Get to the chopper!”— best uttered with an accent ) and you have one jungle rumble for the ages.
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By Douglas Tseng
Published September 18, 2018
Updated September 20, 2018
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Since its introduction 31 years ago in Predator, the sci-fi thriller about a space headhunter has spawned three sequels, including the just-released The Predator. Or five sequels, some argue, if you include AVP: Alien vs Predator and Aliens vs Predator: Requiem. Results vary: a few of them rock, while others suck. Here, we rank them, from the worst to the best.

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Photos: 20th Century Fox

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