We live in a society that glorifies constant progress and hustle. 

From a young age, we are conditioned to view life as a series of milestones to be checked off. First, we're expected to get into a good university, and then secure a well-paying job. Next come the personal life goals: Get married by 30, buy a house by 35, and have kids before 40. 

The list goes on, but the message is clear: If you’re not advancing, you’re failing. 

This creates a pervasive sense of urgency, to the point where even standing still feels like falling behind. 

But what if being stuck isn't the enemy we think it is?

AN UNEXPECTED ROADBLOCK

At 15, life threw me an unexpected curveball: I was held back a year in Secondary 3. 

Imagine the scene: All your friends moving forward, advancing to new experiences and challenges, while you remain in place, forced to repeat what you thought you'd already conquered. 

It felt like a cruel cosmic joke, a glitch in the game of life where everyone else seemed to be levelling up but me.

When you're stuck, it feels like a betrayal of sorts. It can feel like you’ve been betrayed by your flaws and shortcomings, the script of life prescribed by society’s structures and rules — even time itself. 

I remember looking around my classroom, seeing the faces of younger students who hadn't shared my journey thus far. It was just a single year separating us in age, but it felt like a lifetime. Like a time traveller stranded in the wrong era, I felt profoundly out of sync.

In my 15-year-old mind, being “left behind” felt like the end of the world. But in that moment of despair, I found something invaluable: Perspective.

THE GIFT OF PERSPECTIVE

Admitting you're stuck is hard. It feels like exposing a flaw. 

But I reached out for help, I discovered a network of support I hadn’t realised had surrounded me the whole time. 

Teachers, family, and even new friends rallied around me, offering guidance and encouragement. 

My Chinese teacher, Mr Christopher Tang, dedicated extra hours to tutoring me and celebrated my small victories. “You have it in you; just believe it,” he told me. 

My parents, my unwavering supporters, never pressured me once. Instead, they encouraged me: “Just do your best, and we are proud of you.” 

New friends welcomed me despite our age gap. Their positivity and encouragement turned my isolation into determination.

I began to see this period not as a punishment but as an opportunity to pause and reflect. 

In our society, success is often measured by grades, promotions, or milestones. But real success isn’t only tied to these metrics.

I realised that I was more than my grades, and that my worth wasn't tied to academic success or the pace at which I achieved it. I discovered resilience within me, a strength cultivated from confronting my struggles head-on. 

REDEFINING SUCCESS

My worth wasn’t diminished by repeating a grade; it was redefined. 

The very idea of success changed for me. It wasn’t about any of the metrics I’d cared so much about before. I could now see that it was about the journey, the growth, and the lessons learnt along the way. 

I learnt to value progress over perfection, and resilience over immediate results.

In my third entrepreneurial endeavour, Ergotune, I encountered a different kind of stuckness — a business plateau. 

We started off by selling ergonomic chairs and tables from suppliers, but after a year, sales stagnated as we reached market saturation. 

No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t seem to break through to the next level. The team’s morale hit an all-time low. 

But I remembered: Being stuck doesn’t have to be a dead end.

Instead of mindlessly pushing forward, we took the time to pause and ask ourselves: Were we really understanding and building what consumers truly wanted? 

We spent nine months devoting the bulk of our resources to researching and finetuning new ideas. We hired a team of experienced in-house product designers. I even flew to China to convince manufacturers to collaborate with us. 

Our redirected efforts paid off. We developed a brand new product that helped our overall sales shoot up to over S$18 million in 2021, six times our 2020 sales — a feat we would never have achieved if we hadn’t gotten stuck. 

RELATIONSHIP RUTS

Getting stuck isn't just about academic or professional goals. You can find yourself stuck in any part of life, including relationships. 

After three years together with my partner, our relationship hit a wall. The excitement seemed to have faded away; we were stuck in endless routines.

Instead of calling it quits, we took this as a chance to reignite our connection. We committed to travelling to a new continent each year. We set aside time each week to try new things together — whether it was watching a new show, taking a cooking class, or exploring a different part of town. 

Most importantly, we had open, meaningful conversations about our likes and dislikes about each other — not to pick on each other’s faults, but to understand each other better. 

Getting stuck enabled us to deepen and strengthen our bond in ways we never even thought possible.

EMBRACING STUCKNESS

The pressure to keep moving can be overwhelming. But stuckness isn’t a dead end; it can instead be the beginning of a new path. 

It’s a gift of time and space — both so precious in this fast-paced world — in which to gather strength, learn new skills, and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our goals.

If you’re feeling stuck — embrace it. Laugh at your failures and missteps if you can, and see them for what they truly are: Learning opportunities in disguise. 

Stuckness isn’t the enemy. It’s one of our greatest teachers.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jake Tan Jun Kiat is the founder of Ergotune, a direct-to-consumer startup. He writes on LinkedIn about entrepreneurship and technology. He is also an active angel investor and startup mentor in Singapore.