In 2022, Singapore’s resident total fertility rate reached a historic low of 1.04. We are not alone: more and more developed countries, including Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan, are seeing historically low birth rates. 

In developed economies, the focus is typically on career advancement over having children. A declining birth rate and an ageing population may have significant ramifications on Singapore’s labour force, as it means a smaller workforce contributing to the overall economy. 

In February 2023, Singapore Management University’s Paulin Straughan told TODAY that the norms of younger couples have shifted to a point where marriage is “valorised”. This means that many do not want to settle until they meet the “right” partner. 

While economic anxieties and housing costs undoubtedly play a role, the Government has already put in place a range of incentives to boost declining birth rates. 

For example, Budget 2023 announced that baby bonus cash gift would increase by S$3,000 and paid paternity leave would be doubled to help couples start or grow their families. There are also tax incentives in place, such as the working mother child relief. 

Hence, it may be worth exploring this problem from another perspective: The burgeoning world of online dating. 

According to the Marriage and Parenthood Survey, the number of Singaporeans who are open to dating sites or apps has more than doubled, from 19 per cent of respondents in 2012 to 58 per cent in 2021.

However, instead of being a panacea for low birth rates, online dating may be inadvertently contributing to this demographic decline. 

While a definitive answer remains elusive, exploring the nuanced interplay between dating apps and birth rates presents some pressing issues.

DIGITAL MATCHMAKING: ALLURE AND PITFALLS

Online dating platforms offer undeniable convenience and connection, boasting vast pools of potential partners just a swipe away. But beneath this seemingly innocuous interface lurk potential pitfalls that may indirectly impact birth rates, for three reasons. 

First is the paradox of choice. Coined by American psychologist Barry Schwartz, this term describes a situation where abundance can lead to paralysis. Overwhelmed by a smorgasbord of options, some users engage in a perpetual search, never settling down due to the constant allure of “what if”. 

A September 2023 episode of CNA docuseries Insight featured Chinese finance executive Zhao Miaomiao, who met more than 100 guys in person using a dating app but never found anyone suitable. 

Another CNA documentary called Shermin’s Match, released October 2023, followed 31-year-old Shermin Toh’s eight-month journey, comprising 54 dates, to find a partner.

Ms Toh shared that she had been on dating apps since the age of 24, but any connections had fizzled out after three dates. She was, in her own words, “stuck in an endless cycle of anticipation and rejection”. 

In July 2023, Mr KJ Shakti, 27, told The Straits Times that he was still single after almost seven years of swiping on dating apps. 

“Swipe fatigue” continues to proliferate, and can delay commitment and family formation.
Secondly, dating apps often hinge on instant gratification, fostering a culture of quick connections and fleeting interactions.

This can desensitise users to deeper emotional investment and commitment, prioritising short-term thrills over long-term partnerships.

THIS COULD GET UGLY

Thirdly, algorithmic matching based on curated profiles can set unrealistic beauty standards and fuel unhealthy comparisons. Disappointment with real-life encounters can lead to disillusionment and withdrawal from dating altogether. 

These pitfalls may become intertwined with legal concerns, further complicating the picture. 

For example, the practice of catfishing — exaggerated profiles and outright deception — creates a climate of distrust, discouraging genuine connection and long-term commitment.

This fosters cynicism and reinforces negative experiences, leading some to abandon dating altogether. 

Misrepresentation includes lying about or omitting key information that would significantly impact one’s decision to interact with another person on the app — information such as one’s age, marital status, education, job, or intentions (e.g., claiming to be looking for a serious relationship when only seeking casual encounters). 

It could also involve intentional deception meant to gain something valuable from the other person, such as money or gifts. 

In January 2021, Amir Tofangsazan made headlines for using Facebook images of a male model to build fake dating profiles on a variety of platforms, including Tinder and Bumble.

He pretended to be a prosecutor and a surgeon, and tricked women out of thousands of pounds. He was jailed by a UK court for three years. 

RISKY ROMANCE

Self-help remedies can include sharing experiences on social media or online forums to raise awareness and warn others about misrepresentation on dating apps. However, this may sometimes spiral out of control. 

In December 2023, reports emerged about a Facebook group, SG Women Ask, where thousands of women in Singapore share what they know about men they have met from dating apps.

Participants of such groups are treading a fine line as they may be liable for criminal prosecution under the Protection from Harassment Act 2014. If defamatory remarks are made, the victim can also sue for defamation. 

The police can request that social media platform disclose relevant information for their investigations into potential offences. There is also a pre-action production mechanism under the Rules of Court 2021 where a party can apply to court to compel disclosure of relevant information. 

On dating apps, privacy concerns about online data collection and misuse can make users hesitant to share personal information or engage in meaningful interactions, stifling potential connections and intimacy. This lack of vulnerability creates barriers to forming deeper bonds.

NURTURING CONNECTIONS

In 2016, communication experts Jonathan D’Angeo and Catalina Toma, from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in the United States, found that while online dating provides singles with a large pool of potential partners to choose from, those who selected from a large pool (a sample size of 24 versus six) and had the ability to reverse their choice were least satisfied with their selected partners after a week. 

However, demonising online dating is not constructive either. Instead, the focus should shift towards harnessing its potential for fostering genuine connections and encouraging family formation. 

Firstly, beyond physical appearance, online dating platforms should highlight shared values, long-term goals, and compatibility beyond looks. This can help to counter superficiality and spur meaningful connections. 

Secondly, offline encounters can be facilitated through organised events, group activities, or virtual workshops that encourage conversations beyond profiles. This bridges the gap between the digital and real world, fostering more authentic connections. 

The Government could also take the lead with dating apps by developing a platform for use in Singapore verified with Singpass to counter the issue of fake profiles and scams. 

Alternatively, it could partner with existing platforms to organise regular, themed meet-ups for platform users, such as language exchange groups, movie nights, or cooking classes. This fosters a sense of community and facilitates organic interactions beyond curated profiles.

UNLOCKING POTENTIAL

Singapore’s declining birth rate is a complex issue with multifaceted causes. While no one factor can be singularly blamed, online dating’s influence on social interaction, commitment, and relationship norms deserves more consideration. 

By addressing legal and ethical concerns, and actively shaping platforms that promote authentic connections and respect, it may be possible to unlock the potential of online dating to create a platform for genuine love, meaningful partnerships, and, perhaps, a brighter future for family-building in Singapore.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ben Chester Cheong is a law lecturer at the Singapore University of Social Sciences, a financial services regulatory lawyer at RHTLaw Asia, and a doctoral researcher at Hughes Hall, Cambridge University.