How I found my inner tortoise

“快点儿 (Chinese for “hurry up”), you need to speed up. You’ve spent so long on this exercise,” my increasingly flustered husband told my then 8-year-old son.

The response of the boy in the midst of his Chinese homework?

“Slow and steady always wins the race,” he proudly declared.

I looked at my hubby, and although we both found it amusing, we knew the kid was right.

We were wrong in overscheduling our child outside of school hours.

Why were we desperately chasing the hare and not embracing our inner tortoise?

As a textile artist, I cannot recall when my tortoise started to disappear. I think it was a gradual process.

Was it when we transitioned to using laptops and started bringing work home?

Or when we began using smartphones and became contactable 24/7?

However, we are being drained by our desire to multitask, which has resulted in us embracing modern technology to its fullest, squeezing every last little bit of time we can.

The fear of missing out also means we are on our devices for an average of 12 hours a day. It feels like we are on an ever-accelerating treadmill, racing towards a finishing line that is always moving ahead from us.

Our fast-paced lifestyle is taking a toll not just on our health, but also on our community and society.

We have shorter attention spans and even shorter tempers. We are becoming more anxious and less likely to reflect on our actions.

Two years ago, I was overwhelmed, exhausted and going through a creative drought.

I felt like a robot, controlled by a need to act, and a need to be online.

Realising how overwork can lead to a variety of health issues, such as exhaustion and depression, I decided to take a step back.

I decided that I had to find another means to realise my goals.

The answer was through slowing down, not by pulling the brakes on my life, but by reflecting on my decisions and improving upon them.

According to Sarah Corbett, author of “How to be a Craftivist”, it’s about making time to reflect and to think critically about the pace we need to go at to do everything as well as, rather than as fast as possible”.  

Sarah’s words resonated with me.

As an artist who loves sewing and exploring the techniques behind the world of textiles, I felt it was critical to slow down.

To be able to enjoy finding sparks of inspiration in the artistic process, preparing and creating is essential.

This meant not rushing through my embroidery work or natural dyeing, but carefully planning the work out and thinking how the end user would come to appreciate the effort that went into the piece.

Slowing down also helps me create a positive platform to share my skills and values. While sharing my craft with others, I don’t want to spread a message of anxiety or anger, but one of care, love and compassion.

This has also translated into my personal life.  I have been able to determine what my priorities are, when to say “yes”, and more importantly, when to say “no”.  

My schedule has slowly transformed to being all about quality over quantity, creating mindful practices, and reconnecting with those who are important to me.

I would like to think that I am no longer the hare in Aesop’s fable, which focused so much on how fast he could run, he became inconsistent and fatigued.

No one can tell you what your inner tortoise is. Only you can take the steps to determine this.  

My moment of finding it came at a time of intense stress.

I decided to disconnect and found myself taking long walks in the park, emptying my mind and letting go of my baggage.

I hope no one has to go down the same path as I did, but it was during these walks that I found what inspires me in my work: nature.

Nature never speeds up or exploits its surroundings.

During my walks, I saw textures, colours, shapes, lines and even stitching.

Slowing down gave me the opportunity to explore new ideas and incorporate them into my work. As the German scientist Hermann von Helmholtz said,

“Often … [ideas] arrived suddenly, without any effort on my part, like an inspiration.… They never came to a fatigued brain and never at the writing desk. It was always necessary, first of all, that I should have turned my problem over on all sides to such an extent that I had all its angles and complexities 'in my head.' … Then … there must come an hour of complete physical freshness and quiet well-being, before the good ideas arrived. Often they were there in the morning when I first awoke.… But they liked especially to make their appearance while I was taking an easy walk over wooded hills in sunny weather.”

It has been two years since I made those life changes.  

I now set aside time for reflection. It is all part of slowing down, and subconsciously, I was reconnecting with life and what was important to me.

I rediscovered things that had not mattered to me before, such as the weeds growing through the cracks of a wall, the stray cats in the void deck and the laughter of children in the playground -  the little or overlooked things in life.

Finding my inner tortoise has made me happier.

I am able to focus and be brave enough to say no to nice-to-haves that don’t contribute to my goals.

For instance, I am now more selective about which event invitations I accept.  

Slowing down has given me more opportunities to enjoy the creative process and the journey to produce art.  

If you decide to take the path to reducing your pace of life, the results may be different from mine, but taking those first steps will definitely make the invisible visible and take you on an undiscovered road.

Will you find your inner tortoise?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Agatha Lee "Agy" is a textile artist who specialises in free motion embroidery and natural dyes, transforming textile waste into creative wearables and art.  This is adapted from an essay which first appeared in The Birthday Book 2018: The Roads We Take, a collection of 53 essays by a range of Singaporeans and Singapore residents reflecting on our individual and collective journeys to mark the Republic's 53rd year of independence. TODAY will be carrying other essays from the book in the coming weeks.