Make the first move towards better mental health — be kind to our minds

"Kal-El is not dead" is a mental health awareness initiative that I came up with after working with an organisation that wanted me to work on mental wellness for its members. 

Who is Kal-El, you may ask. Comic-book fans will know him as Superman, the name he had on his home planet.

Most people may know that kryptonite weakens and can kill Superman. But do you know what is Superman’s real weakness? 

He cares.

Despite all the pain that humans are capable of inflicting on others, there is a part of us that still cares.

I have to admit that despite my own personal challenges and misgivings, unfortunately, I do care enough to want to make a difference as well. 

Of late, mental health and well-being is a topic close to my heart. 

Based on my personal experiences and from what I have witnessed with friends, it is important to have a reminder to be kind to your mind.  

I started thinking about it and was somewhat motivated by an English footballer of a club I support. 

Harry Kane of Tottenham Hotspur recently took out a jersey sponsorship of Leyton Orient football club that is based in London to thank the British front-line heroes, and to support Haven House, a children’s hospice and Mind, a mental health charity.

Kane was briefly with Leyton Orient in 2011.

I therefore thought that a T-shirt with a slogan “Be kind to your mind” could serve as a visual trigger for people to be kind to themselves and as a conversation starter to encourage people to reach out and speak up.

Within seven days, the sponsors that I reached out to agreed to support the "Kal-El is not dead" project and the T-shirt design was finalised and sent for printing.

The thing is, mental health has become such a buzzword these days, no thanks to the pandemic.

With many people suffering from raging cabin fever to mounting pressures from the work-life balancing act, it is no wonder people are out of kilter.

And lately, just when we seemed to have turned a corner in infection control, the imposition of stricter public health safety measures has made us tumble back into the rabbit hole.

With all these uncertainties and changes, along with little light at the end of the tunnel in the next couple of years, it seems like an opportune time for us to take stock of our mental state.

Start by asking ourselves if we are really okay and then ask our family members and friends if they are okay.

And asking for the sake of asking does not count.  

Do we really care how others are feeling, enough for us to take time to listen, notwithstanding our own personal woes and coping with the realities of day-to-day living?

It is about taking the next step and doing something about it.

When I was sourcing for sponsors to fund the T-shirt project, the offers came in so fast and furious that I had to stop accepting them after the third day.  

I was then asked: “What’s next, how do we reach out?”

For a start, I am glad that the Singapore Psychological Society, which has psychologists and specialists in the field as its members, has agreed to provide speakers for talks and workshops.  

This project is less than a month old and I am not sure how far it will go. One idea canvassed to one of the sponsors is to create a mobile application for mental wellness.

I do hope that the project will excite others to pool their resources and work on something together to make a difference in advancing mental health.  

There are already good efforts put in by groups and associations. 

The publicity and attention on social media from such efforts generate some awareness about mental health and people are sharing their personal struggles.

Through these channels, people feel that they are not alone and if they need help, resources are available. 

The next step, perhaps, is to try and push for greater acceptance of and empathy for people who suffer from mental illness.

It is time for each of us to step up and adopt a proactive approach instead of waiting for things to happen. There is no shame in making the first move. 

Mental health can affect anyone regardless of age, gender and socio-economic background. 

We sometimes cannot tell from the surface if someone is facing mental health issues.

The last thing you want is to regret not making a call to someone you care about or making time for that person.

An acquaintance of mine, let’s call her C, comes across as quite a tough person. But she said that no one would believe that she is weak, mentally fatigued and needed help.

Two years ago, my buddy K lost a friend who was battling depression and alcoholism. The friend ended his own life. 

K told me that what he learnt after losing the friend is that you cannot be too focused on helping a depressed person in the present. 

For those facing this invisible enemy, it is the thought of their future that does the damage and makes them lose hope. 

If they are unable to envision a better future, your words and actions won’t be of much help.

Recently, I thought about what one former diplomat said to me about helping others. 

He reminded me that the effort should be collective for better outcomes.

It is not about winning the battles but the fight that matters most. 

For now, let us play our part by making an effort to be kind to our minds.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nicholas Aw is a lawyer and director at Imperial Law.