SINGAPORE – Suits has returned for a fourth season and we’re happy about that, because we get to resume our pursuit of the lives of two spiffily-dressed smooth talkers – namely, Patrick J Adams as Mike Ross and Gabriel Macht as Harvey Specter – as they swan around their high-powered glass-and-steel Manhattan offices, parleying in legal jargon and bedding leggy paralegals. Mike is an investment banker now, so instead of being Harvey’s employee, he is his client. That means he is still intimately connected with the firm – plus, he is still dating Rachel the paralegal.

But as much as we love Suits, we’re also a little sceptical about its portrayal of the legal profession.

The slew of legal dramas that have been made (Damages, The Good Wife, The Practice, The Pupil, Boston Legal, Law & Order, Ally McBeal, Fairly Legal, Drop Dead Diva, Raising The Bar, the list goes on and on) haven’t done anything to dispel this TV-universe fantasy.

Is lawyering really all cashmere vests, pencil skirts and Nespresso machines in the midst of tear-jerking courtroom speeches and late-night sexual tension? We asked some actual lawyers to list the less-than-realistic facets of legal dramas - under the condition of anonymity of course, proving that, yes, lawyers are as smart as they’re cracked up to be. Here’s what they had to say:

“THE PARTNERS ARE NEVER AS GOOD-LOOKING.” Maybe law firm bosses don’t all look like Harvey Specter, but they have chiselled jaws, just the right hint of five o’clock shadow and wonderful hairlines, no? Apparently not, say lawyers here. Guess they motivate their teams more by the strength of their leadership and less by personal attractiveness, then.

“THERE ARE NO HOT PARALEGALS, EITHER.” No, law offices are not bursting at the windows with Rachel Zane doppelgangers. Nor trainees who look like Rebecca Lim and George Young.

“NOBODY HAS SEX IN THE LIBRARY. YOU COULD BE CHARGED UNDER THE PENAL CODE. BESIDES, THERE ARE DUST MITES.” The sparks that fly between men and women ricochet off their cuff links into each other’s eyes in the high-stakes environment of a legal drama. But, as you can probably tell from this quote, real lawyers are eminently practical people.

“WE NEVER SPEND SO MUCH TIME TALKING TO OUR COLLEAGUES. OUR CONVERSATIONS ALL TAKE PLACE OVER EMAIL BECAUSE WE WANT TO GO HOME AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.” That walk-and-talk-in-the-corridor thing, where they trade pithy one-liners at a machine-gun pace? Popping into someone’s office and lounging on their couch? Only on TV. In real life, lawyers say no, thanks – we’re not friends, we’re just colleagues. (It wouldn’t make for very good TV viewing to have all the action take place over email, now would it?)

“WE JUST WANT TO GET THE JOB DONE. NOBODY HAS TIME FOR CONCEALER.” On TV, the legal profession looks more glamorous than Vogue. But sky-high Louboutins are a lie and wrinkle-free shirts are but a sigh: Lawyers who do real work wear their eyebags proudly, like battle scars.

“WHY AREN’T THERE ANY SHOWS ABOUT CORPORATE LAWYERS? WE ARE LAWYERS TOO.” So said corporate lawyer “Chanel Chan” (not her real name). However, legal dramas rely on intense courtroom scenes to build drama and tension, and that’s why they are all about criminal lawyers and litigators. When we asked Chan: “Would your life make an interesting TV show?” She paused, then said: “No.” Still, it’s the principle of it — people who draw up contracts deserve representation, too!

“SUITS IS VERY UNREALISTIC. I DON’T KNOW WHY WE STILL WATCH IT.” After all this, we think you’ll agree that it’s probably a good thing that verisimilitude isn’t a priority for the writers of legal dramas.

Catch the fourth season of Suits on Fridays at 10.20pm on DIVA (StarHub TV Ch 522).