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Gen Y Speaks: Doing 'girl math' used to make me feel guilty, but here's why I decided to stop feeling bad about it

A few weeks ago, I messaged two of my friends to tell them that I spent a few hundred dollars on massage packages. 

As young Singaporeans, we work long and hard. What can be so wrong with spending our own money on things that seem like imprudent purchases to others, but provide to us some unconventional or intangible benefit?

As young Singaporeans, we work long and hard. What can be so wrong with spending our own money on things that seem like imprudent purchases to others, but provide to us some unconventional or intangible benefit?

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A few weeks ago, I messaged two of my friends to tell them that I spent a few hundred dollars on massage packages. 

One of these was a tummy and womb massage package that was touted to help one shed inches off the waist — not really necessary for me as I have a healthy waist-hip ratio. 

Another was a breast massage package that purportedly firms one’s breasts — again, not the most relevant for me, as my relatively flat chest offers minimal breast tissue for the therapist to work with.

These were seemingly frivolous purchases, ones that I do not really require. 

Both experiences were fun and novel, and unlike any of the traditional massages I have done before. 

I enjoyed seeing the therapists bring in new and adorable-looking machines: A pink-coloured suction machine used on the breasts; a few metal plates that created slight warmth when placed around one’s tummy before the tummy massage. 

I posted a photo of the pink suction machine on my Instagram Story, gathering several curious and delighted responses from friends, who had likewise never seen such a device before.

A pink-coloured suction machine used on the breasts in the massage sessions purchased by the writer.

Ever inquisitive about the latest trends in the beauty and wellness space, I also took it as a learning opportunity to improve consumer knowledge. I asked them about the techniques used at these massages, which are varied based on one’s goals, such as detoxification, lymphatic drainage, and firming.

After all, one reason I signed up for the packages was an ongoing promotion with a 70 per cent discount for first-timers who had completed their first trial session for a fraction of the original price.

The therapist also promised me that if I signed up for a package of 10 sessions, she’d give me an extra four sessions for free. 

So really, I reasoned in my head, I’d actually saved money through these purchases — “girl math”.

FINANCIAL MISTAKE OR SELF-CARE?

However, upon hearing the news of my recent splurges, one of my peers verbalised that these purchases were rather unwise.

Slowly, I was overcome by a sense of guilt for making what seemed to others to be spending mistakes. 

“I feel a bit bad for purchasing these non-essentials,” I chuckled to one of my friends, feeling tickled but a little embarrassed at what I had done. 

“Well, self-care is important,” she replied. “If it makes you happy then why not?” 

She added that she too budgets for expenditures such as manicure and hair treatments that sometimes do not last long but keep her in a good mood or help her get through tough or stressful times.

Another friend cited that many of her female peers apply girl math on non-essential items that may seem like extravagant purchases, but give them great satisfaction overall.

She herself often buys slightly overpriced oat milk lattes several times a week, which keep her cheerful and productive throughout the workday. Buying oat milk lattes is often used as a classic example of girl math in action.

Yet, she has no qualms in doing this as long as her budget allows for it, as she would rather save on other aspects of her life like transport and clothes. 

She has also never considered making her own oat milk lattes, as she is no domestic goddess and does not have much bandwidth for the purchasing of ingredients, doing the dishes and clean-up. The cost spent on these, she claims, may be more than just purchasing a ready-made oat milk latte.

BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT

We all admittedly work long and hard. It is no exaggeration that for most young Singaporeans, the majority of our time is spent on work, studies, fitness and the occasional catch-ups with friends.

What can be so wrong with spending our own money on some items that seem like imprudent purchases to others, but provide to us some unconventional or intangible benefit that makes perfect sense from our point of view? 

Granted, some more extreme examples of girl math may be downright illogical. These include the claims that spending in a foreign currency does not amount to spending money, or that a very big-ticket item like a car can have its price divided to “cost per second” so that the costs are negligible.

However, assuming one has achieved some measure of financial independence and stability, girl math can help one come to terms with purchasing decisions that appear silly to others, but are well worth the price tag to oneself. 

So far, I have gone for several sessions of tummy massages and breast massages. Each session still gives me a lot of joy and amusement.

I am far from regretting spending my hard-earned money on this.

In fact, I might even extend my package in the future — depending on what makes me happy, not others around me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Alvona Loh Zi Hui is a medical doctor who works in Singapore.   

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