Gen Y Speaks: I was never a clubber. Now, going to clubs and parties with my mum, 59, has made us close for the first time
Not many people my age find themselves in a nightclub accompanied by — of all people — their mother.
Not many people my age find themselves in a nightclub accompanied by — of all people — their mother.
Here’s the unlikely story of how it happened to me.
NEVER A CLUBBER
At 29, I had never been drawn to the club scene. The pulsating music, the dimly lit dance floors — it just wasn’t my vibe.
My polytechnic days were filled with working part-time and going to school. My friends weren’t “party people”, plus I was already in a long-term relationship with my then boyfriend (now my husband), who also had his own concerns about clubbing.
Instead of clubbing, I spent my free time on other activities, like playing League of Legends and other games.
As for my mother, life as a youth had been quite different for her. She was born in the Philippines and raised by her aunt and uncle.
She loved listening to the radio or whatever CDs my father used to bring home, but she never went to clubs or parties. Now, at the age of 59, she considered herself well past the clubbing phase altogether.
My mum and I had never really been close. We did get closer when my own kids came around — but as much as motherhood brought us together, there was always still this invisible barrier.
A TIKTOK DISCOVERY
In May 2023, I was scrolling through TikTok and happened to stumble upon Culture SG, a local events company specialising in “alternative” nightlife parties. I discovered their Telegram channel, where they update their followers on upcoming parties.
On a whim, I hit the “subscribe” button.
Soon, I got an update on their next party, WhoHurtYou, specialising in alternative rock and “emo” music. My sister, Gabrielle, and I were immediately interested — we felt that we would vibe with this kind of music, which we’d loved as teens.
We went to this party, and it was so much fun. We spent the night singing along to almost every song played, and when it ended, we thought that we’d be keen to do it again.
When updates for the next party popped up on the Telegram channel — Retro Metro Night, featuring hits from the 70s to the 90s — my sister and I decided to attend.
As we talked about it, though, a wild idea took root: Why not bring Mum along? Perhaps it could be a unique Mother’s Day surprise!
THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKIN’ AT HER
That evening, Mum stepped into the club, eyes wide, and heart racing. She was excited, but clearly a little apprehensive. She told us how out of place she was, in an environment full of young folks.
Gabrielle and I reassured her that there was nothing to worry about, because she had us. We brought her right to the front of the dance floor, but she was still hesitant, and kept dragging us to the back instead.
We encouraged her, and told her that it would be fine. Eventually, she gave in and followed us to the front and that’s when more of the attendees noticed her.
They welcomed her with smiles and cheers, and I could see that their enthusiasm lightened her unease and made her more comfortable.
My sister and I hyped her up, danced by her side, and she became part of it all. People around her cheered, danced, and sang along to golden oldies with her. They were twirling her around and talking to her. Mum was smiling and laughing through each interaction.
She became their role model — a testament that age needn’t dim the spirit.
When I went over to her place the next day, Mum couldn’t stop talking about last night. Her laughter echoed through our home as she relived the dance floor euphoria.
She marvelled at the experience of reliving music familiar to her, and that she hadn’t felt out-of-place as she thought she would. She could be free to dance and sing with people who appreciated the same music.
“If it happens again,” she said, “I’m in!”
It delighted me to hear her say this, totally unprompted!
I promised her I’d keep an eye out for the next Retro Metro night.
REPEAT ENCORE
Retro Metro Nights became our new tradition.
In 2023, my mum, sister and I attended two more Retro Metro Nights in August and October.
Every time Mum steps into a Culture SG party, familiar faces would greet her, shots would be passed out, and the music would carry us through time. She revels in the beats and the good vibes, her energy contagious.
Last October’s Retro Metro Night was particularly special as it was on the 13th — which just so happened to be Mum’s birthday. Of course, we had to go!
At the party, I told Vira Suria, Culture SG’s organiser, that it was Mum’s birthday.
To our surprise, he got up onstage, called for the music to cut, and announced the occasion to the entire crowd.
The whole place erupted in cheers. Mum blushed, but smiled wide.
It’s a joyful memory that will be etched in our hearts forever.
DANCING THROUGH THE DECADES
For Mum and us, the Retro Metro Nights continue, even well into 2024. This year, we’ve gone to two more in March and May.
Mum has even begun to branch out, attending two Bruno Mars-themed parties in September 2023 and April 2024 — both organised by Culture SG as well.
Even now, each party we go to is a reminder that clubbing is just an activity — what we gain from it is up to us. It doesn’t just have to be about the music or the beats; it can be about connection, shared joy, and making new memories.
Whenever I see Mum on the dance floor, she is ageless. It reminds me that music transcends generations. It’s not about how old you are, or where you come from — we laugh, sway, and celebrate life together.
So here’s to Mum, the dancing queen of Retro Metro. May the music keep us all young like her.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Nelly De Castro, 29, is a mother of two working full-time as an admin for the construction sector.