Relationships weakened, passions lost: Teens reveal why they were hit harder during pandemic, analysts share how youth can move on

SINGAPORE — When Singapore entered the circuit breaker period in April 2020, then 16-year-old Aqil Nazhan Ahmad Rifa'ai was in the midst of studying for his O-Level examinations at a madrasah (Islamic school). 

Now 19, Mr Aqil recalled that the period was one filled with deep uncertainty and stress, and as a result he was unable to focus on his studies and do as well in his exams as he would have liked. 

"I was just restricted, I saw myself constantly feeling unmotivated and this caused me to not revise for my exams... my whole life just felt very monotonous," he said. 

When he completed his O-Levels and continued his studies at the same madrasah, he had expected the Covid-19 situation to improve in 2021 so he could bond freely with his new classmates, but this did not happen. 

"I had to miss out on opportunities such as orientation camps, as we were not allowed to have overnight camps, and also competitions," said Mr Aqil, who was part of his school's debate team at the time.

He added that the emotional and mental strain of the last three years has impacted him up till now, even post graduation, where he is now looking for a job. 

"I felt that I was already not feeling the best (mentally) for the past four-five years of my life, but Covid made it worse, made it unmanageable, to the point where I had to seek professional help," said Mr Aqil, who is still learning to cope with the stresses of the past few years. 

Mr Aqil is not alone in experiencing difficulties adjusting to life post-pandemic. A survey released by the Ministry of Communications and Information (MCI) on Sunday (March 19) has found that more youths aged between 15 and 19 reported that their quality of life and their ability to manage their mental health have dropped through the course of the pandemic as compared to the general population. 

Like Mr Aqil, teens TODAY spoke to agreed with the survey findings, saying that the pandemic was a particularly tough period for them as it had hit them during a "transition" phase where they were hindered from making new friends and had deep uncertainties about their future.

AFFECTED RELATIONSHIPS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

The survey showed that 40 per cent of youths reported that their relationships with friends were poorer than before the pandemic, compared to 28 per cent for the general population

Agreeing with this, 19-year-old Qistina Farisha Safrani Mohamed Faizal said that she had similar hopes as Mr Aqil of making many friends upon enrolling in a polytechnic in 2020, but these were quickly dashed. 

"I think if the pandemic didn't happen, I would have a bigger social circle, because I'm a very extroverted person," she said. "Before the pandemic, I'm always hanging out with people, but when the pandemic happened I stopped going out so much." 

Ms Qistina said that even up till now, the frequency and size of her group activities have not reverted back to pre-pandemic normalcy. 

For instance, while she used to go to the gym with a group of friends, she only goes with her brother nowadays. 

"Some friends are still afraid about going out with people who might get them sick," she said.

While the strain of being away from friends is hard on some teens, the continual close proximity with family members at home can also strain the relationship. 

Ezann Sephira Tan, 16, said that she staying at home for extended periods of time during the pandemic with her parents and having nowhere to go made her restless. 

"The pandemic definitely played a part when I stayed home too long with my parents, and they might nag, and I can get frustrated easily," said Ezann, who was 13 in 2020 when the pandemic started. 

However, she said that since the Covid restrictions have lifted, her family now goes overseas more often and the quality of their interactions has improved. 

PASSION, HOBBIES PUT ON A STANDSTILL

The survey showed that 49 per cent of teens aged 15 to 19 felt less able to pursue activities and hobbies, compared to 32 per cent for the general population.

Indeed, the inability to partake in some team sports and activities had also led to some teens losing passion in them even after the pandemic. 

Ezann said that when the pandemic started, she was looking forward to being part of the national sailing team.

However, all overseas competitions were cancelled that year as borders closed and she had to settle for smaller group lessons.

Even though she is able to go overseas to sail again, she is now in Secondary 4, her final year, and opportunities to do so are now limited. 

"It was my peak period and I was performing decently," she said, ruing the fact that she never got to compete at her best. 

This was a similar struggle for Ms Maisy Phua, 18, who is a figure skater and dancer. 

She had enrolled in a polytechnic at the start of the pandemic in 2020 and had looked forward to performing her dance moves in front of a roaring crowd. 

Instead, she had to dance in front of her laptop camera for a panel of judges over video-call, which made her "lose a bit of passion" for the art.

Now in her final year in poly, she is busying herself with organising dance competitions for her juniors, so that they can experience what she never did. 

"Now that everything is back to normal, I feel a bit of sadness as I know that there are experiences that I missed out on," she said. "I’m organising all sorts of events for the freshmen, but I was never able to have that." 

TEENS THINK THEY WERE HIT HARDER BY PANDEMIC THAN OTHER AGE GROUPS

The teens largely agreed with the survey's findings that their age group was hit harder during the course of the pandemic compared to other age groups. 

Said Ms Phua: "It will affect youths more, because we are more outgoing and need more social experiences. We depend a lot on an external support system and we have a lot of commitments, such as our own co-curricular activities. 

"Not being able to do all that will affect us more, as we are more emotionally immature, which means our mental health could take a toll." 

Agreeing, Ms Qistina said that her biggest gripe was that some of her growing up years were robbed from her.

"A lot of chances were taken away from us... there's a lot of things that were limited to us that we were not given a second opportunity to try again."