Mrs Wee Kim Wee, the former First Lady whose ‘love for people was clearly visible’

SINGAPORE — She was a down-to-earth woman who offered drinks to rag-and-bone men who went to her home, but the late Mrs Wee Kim Wee also had an “innate understanding” of what it meant to be a First Lady when her husband became Singapore’s fourth president in 1985.

Her warmth and selflessness were fondly remembered by family members and dignitaries who paid their respects on the first day of her wake on Sunday (July 8).

Mrs Wee, whose birth name is Koh Sok Hiong, died on Saturday night, just a day after turning 102.

Her death came as a surprise as she had seemed alert, said her fourth daughter, Ms Wee Eng Hwa, 75.

The family had celebrated her birthday the week before with 80 guests and a spread of Peranakan dishes, and later had a smaller private celebration last Friday.

The family had even planned for a trip to the zoo, and bought a second aspirator to help clear her phlegm. A major stroke in 2015 had impaired her speech and led to her being tube-fed.

Things took an abrupt turn and Mrs Wee had a fever on Thursday. She took some antibiotics and was recovering at home, but started having breathing difficulties and was sent to Changi General Hospital on Saturday night in an ambulance, but could not be resuscitated.

She is survived by six daughters aged between 70 and 79, 13 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.

Her mother always put her husband and children first, said Ms Wee.

She instilled in her children values such as humility and caring for the poor, and her “love for people was clearly visible”, she said.

Mrs Wee was also extremely considerate and did not like to impose on others, said her half-brother Nio Gim Siong, 80. He described himself as a “handyman” who would “do little things” for the family, such as fixing a leaking pipe or shopping for vegetables at the Geylang Serai Market.

Mrs Wee’s keen sense of taste and smell showed in her cooking. She loved durian and even after her stroke in 2015, the family would put a little of the fruit on a spoon so she could savour its smell and have a taste, said Ms Wee, who wrote, photographed and published a book of more than 200 of her mother’s recipes in 2010.

Ms Wee considers the book, Cooking for the President - Reflections & Recipes of Mrs Wee Kim Wee, to be one of her mother’s legacies. 

Ms Wee said during interviews when the book came out in 2010 that her mother picked up Peranakan cooking from her grandmother at the age of 10.

She would cook for guests the late Mr Wee hosted during his time as a diplomat and, later, as president.

Calling Mrs Wee the “quintessential Nyonya wife and mother”, the Peranakan Association Singapore's president Colin Chee wrote on Facebook that her “heart and love” were the main “ingredients that made anything she cooked taste great”.

He was invited to the family’s Chinese New Year open-house meals, and described the dishes served as “all stupendously delicious”. In the later years, it was Ms Wee who executed her mother’s recipes, he said.

Mrs Wee was the pillar who quietly supported the late Mr Wee, one of Singapore’s most beloved presidents who served from 1985 to 1993.

Mr Wee, who died in 2005 at the age of 89, previously described his wife – whom he met and married in 1936 – as his soulmate.

With a laugh, Ms Wee recalled that whenever her parents got into an argument, all it took was for her to “give a look” and cite a Chinese proverb to totally “demolish” his argument.

When Mr Wee died, the family could not bear to let Mrs Wee witness his cremation for fear that it would affect her.

“(For some time after), she didn’t know what happened to him... She would be asking us, ‘Where’s daddy? How come he’s not returned?’ But after a few years, she stopped asking,” said Ms Wee.

On Sunday, more than 150 guests turned up at the wake at 25 Siglap Plain. Four daughters were present while two more will be flying back from Melbourne, Australia.

President Halimah Yacob arrived at around 6pm with her husband. Calling Mrs Wee a “very special person” who touched many Singaporeans, Madam Halimah said she was also remembered for being a generous host who would readily “open the doors of the Istana” for guests to have lunch with her.

“I remember her as a kind and gentle person,” she said.

Former President Tony Tan, who arrived at about 5.30pm, said Mrs Wee exuded a “natural warmth that endeared her to everybody she met”.

“We will all miss her a great deal and she has set an example to everybody on how to continue to make life meaningful in what they do for other people and for her own family,” he said.

Speaking to reporters on the sidelines of a ministerial community visit to Kaki Bukit Division on Sunday morning, Finance Minister Heng Swee Keat said both Mr Wee and Mrs Wee had served Singapore with “distinction”, such as by showing great care and concern to the community.

“We are benefitting from the very good work (Mr Wee) has done and it’s important for this generation to build on the work of previous generation to take Singapore forward,” he added.

The wake will be held until Tuesday and Mrs Wee will be cremated on Wednesday morning at Mandai Crematorium.