NUS student-run group cancels event on rope bondage after claims it promoted violent sex

• A couple was called in to talk about rope bondage, where partners may be tied up with rope when having sex
• NUS group tFreedom said the event was to give students a safe space to learn about the practice
• A petition that claimed tFreedom was promoting violent sex was started on Aug 29
• Associate Professor Kelvin Pang, Master of Tembusu College at NUS, said the group’s operations will be put on hiatus

SINGAPORE — A virtual event organised by a student-run group from the National University of Singapore (NUS) on safe sexual practices has been cancelled following a backlash from online users who claimed that it was promoting violent sex.

TFreedom, a group in the university’s residential Tembusu College, had called in a couple who engage in rope bondage — where partners may be wrapped, suspended or restrained with rope when having sex — for an online talk on Wednesday (Sept 2).

It is part of the group’s weekly programme called Let’s Talk About Sex, which aims to raise awareness about sex education and remove the stigma associated with sexual health.

Last Saturday, a petition was started on Change.org, claiming that the group “glamourises creative bondage sex”. Screenshots of the event poster shared on its Telegram page accompanied the petition.

More than 7,400 people had signed the petition as of Tuesday afternoon.

“Such dangerous fetishes should never be promoted in an educational institute. Such content should be restricted because it facilitates violent sexual fantasies among students,” the petition read.

In response to TODAY’s queries, tFreedom said that the petition misrepresented the event as one that promotes and facilitates violent sexual fantasies among students.

“Regrettably, that petition mischaracterised the event and promoted misinformation of our group. We condemn violence in any shape, way or form. Let us be clear: Our group and events have never promoted violent sex or non-consensual activities. We share the petitioners’ concern for the welfare of students.

“The intention was to provide the students with a safe space to learn more about a lesser-known practice from a studio that values communication, respect and consent. The event was in no way aimed at encouraging or promoting the practice,” the group said.

It added that the online event via video conferencing application Zoom involved no physical contact and the sign-up process was voluntary.

However, while it stands by its original intentions, tFreedom acknowledged that the event poster could have been better designed to clearly communicate the discourse-driven aspect of the event.

“We regret that this lack of clarity has caused people to mistake the nature and intention of the event, and caused some anxiety as a result.

“We also regret that we failed to consider how the image might have brought distress to victims of sexual assault, and sincerely apologise for any distress caused,” it said.

Associate Professor Kelvin Pang, Master of Tembusu College at NUS, said that the cancellation of the event was necessary to protect the privacy and wellbeing of its students, as their personal details had been disclosed online.

“Upon further review, the tFreedom talk that was scheduled to be held this week was cancelled and tFreedom’s operations will be put on a hiatus, while we look into the alignment of its activities with the (college’s) Code of Gender and Sexual Respect, and the educational value we must bring as a college of learning,” he said.

CONFLICTING PETITIONS

With the aim of creating a safe space to discuss sex and sexual wellbeing, tFreedom holds weekly discussions where members may share their experiences and ask questions.

“Respect and consent are at the heart of what we do. We have spoken up publicly against sexual misconduct, organised sexual assault awareness campaigns and advocated for greater educational efforts to promote a culture of consent and speaking out,” the group said.

However, tFreedom is promoting “loose sexual behaviour” through their discussions on topics such as sex and masturbation, the petition stated.

“There is no educational value for such a weekly discussion because these dialogues only stimulate sexual fantasies. It is deeply troubling that tFreedom, an official interest group mentored by professors, should even conceive such an immoral practice,” it added.

On Sunday, a counter-petition was started on Change.org, calling for sexual discourse, such as the one conducted by tFreedom, not to be censored by the university.

“Sexuality is central to humanity — it's why we even exist. Discussing these issues would enable us to understand the topic on a deeper level — especially on consent and interpersonal boundaries,” the petition said.

It added that tFreedom not only conducts these discourses to educate students on sexuality but also provides a safe space where they can talk about such matters.

On the rope bondage session, the petition pointed out that this form of sex can be non-violent.

“Having a facilitator who has done such activities in a non-violent way can potentially guide newcomers on how this can be done in a safe, non-violent way.”

It stressed that students are not forced to attend these talks or adopt a certain point of view.

TFreedom clarified on Monday that it did not start this petition but is heartened by the support it had received.

Assoc Prof Pang said that Tembusu College prides itself on its culture of care and inclusivity and the group is an avenue for students to discuss a wide range of topics, including topics relating to gender and sexuality.

“We also have a proud tradition of intellectual curiosity. As a community of learning, we have created safe spaces for you to ask uncomfortable questions and learn from discussing complex and multifaceted issues in a respectful and responsible manner. We will continue to do so.

“Our goal is to strike a better balance between enabling student-initiated activities and discussions while ensuring that these events are still educationally sound and contribute to the positive growth of our community,” he said.