SINGAPORE — How would you react if a stranger patted your child on her head?

A netizen took to online forum Reddit on Sunday (July 16) to recount an uncomfortable experience they had of an elderly man touching their child without consent. 

In their post titled “Old people touching your kids”, Reddit user “caipngnopng” shared how a man had walked past their table and patted their three-year-old daughter on the head while they were having dinner at a hawker centre. 

In response, the user admonished the man and warned him that he was not allowed to do that to which he retorted: “Why can’t I?” 

The user claimed that a quarrel ensued, with the man hurling vulgarities at them before walking away. 

Seeing their daughter’s frightened state during the incident, the user wondered if their actions had caused their child “unnecessary distress”, despite knowing that she does not like being touched or spoken to by strangers. 

Thinking that the incident was a “common occurrence”, the user asked parents to share similar experiences in the Reddit thread which has garnered over 170 comments as of Monday. 

A majority of netizens praised the user for doing the right thing and many chimed in to share their experiences of their children being touched or spoken to by strangers. 

User “Environmental_Sea721” emphasised the importance of guarding the boundaries of children and their personal space. 

The user recounted an incident of an elderly man who had persistently asked their child for personal information such as the name of his school, which he refused to share. 

User “twistycatlyman” shared their frustration of their kids being touched by the elderly “all the time” even during the height of Covid. In response, the user would “touch them where they touched my child and ask them if that was okay”. 

User “Holeshot75” applauded the parent for chastising the man and recalled how they once yelled at an elderly man who had stroked their daughter’s hair on an escalator. 

User “ComputerStandard8310” attributed the man’s behaviour to the “disgusting” mindset of certain older folks who think that they are entitled to do anything they please. 

Redditor “railgunsix” described the man’s action to be “rude” and raised the question of why people do not ask permission to touch someone else’s children the same way they would ask: “Can I pet your dog?”

While most users praised the parent for sticking up for their daughter, some felt that their approach could have been better.

User “EmergencyTurn5” felt that “the conflict could have been managed better” and explained how the man’s action may be due to the "it takes a village to raise a child" ideology that the older generation supposedly still subscribes to, making it difficult for him to adapt to the current times. 

User “Reasonable_Space” believed that the elder man did not have “bad intentions”. Instead of yelling, the user suggested that the parent could have instead explained their child’s discomfort with strangers in a more understanding way. 

Redditor “pullmeformayo” said that the parent “could have improved on the tone, assuming you immediately shouted at him”. 

“Either way, don’t think too much about it. It's also good because stuff like this subconciously lets the girl know that no stranger is supposed to touch her and that she should voice it out immediately,” the user added.