Singapore singles need more opportunities, time and energy to date and meet new people: Survey

SINGAPORE — Most single people enjoy going on dates, but lack opportunities, time and energy to date and meet new people, a new survey has found.

The poll also showed that men prefer to use either dating websites or mobile applications, while women would rather meet their potential partners at social events.

The online survey by the National Population and Talent Division (NPTD) was held from July 26 to Aug 23 this year to look at attitudes towards dating in Singapore. More than 800 people responded.

Aside from singles, who made up more than half of the respondents, the survey also included people who are married with and without children, and those who are either divorced or widowed.

WHAT’S STOPPING SINGLES FROM DATING?

Two in three singles polled said that they enjoy dating, and more than half said that they go on dates at least once a week.

In order to have more dating opportunities:

• 7 in 10 said that they needed more opportunities to meet new people

• 2 in 3 said that they needed more time and energy

SO HOW DO SINGLES MEET EACH OTHER?

Despite the proliferation of a variety of dating apps and websites, only four in 10 agreed that online dating is a more effective way to meet new people compared with other methods.

Below are the top three methods that respondents have used to find their potential partners:

#1. Social activities

• Female: 59 per cent

• Male: 58 per cent

#2. Dating apps/websites

• Female: 55 per cent

• Male: 61 per cent

#3. Asked family and friends to introduce

• Female: 37 per cent

• Male: 41 per cent

OTHER FINDINGS

• 38 per cent of the respondents first started dating before they were 18.

• On the other end of the spectrum, 13 per cent said that they have never dated before.

• Most (33 per cent) said that they started thinking seriously about finding a life partner between the age of 22 and 25.

MIXED EXPERIENCES WITH DATING

Two millennials interviewed by TODAY told of different dating experiences.

Ms Ameera Adnan, 29, said that she has tried various dating apps, but “nothing really seemed to be working” for her.

She recalled that she had even attended a speed-dating event, but found the entire experience to be “very, very awkward”.

“I felt pressured,” Ms Ameera said. “Within such a short amount of time, you have to get to know the other person. But that is not my character. I prefer to take a while to get to know someone better.”

The corporate trainer said that her negative experiences, combined with tiring workdays, have put her off dating for the time being.

“I use so much effort during work hours that I feel tired by the end of the day (to think about going on a date),” she added.

For Mr Marcus Chia, 20, he credits the Coffee Meets Bagel dating app for giving him the opportunity to meet his current girlfriend.

The full-time national serviceman said that he tries to go out on dates every weekend.

While he agreed that friends could help singles find partners, he disagreed that the family should get involved.

“It is so weird,” he said. “They will probably just pair you up with someone of the same social and economic status. They don’t really care about anything else.”

EXPERTS SAY...

Experts told TODAY that the problem in not finding partners could be because there are just too many choices, what with dating apps and websites giving singles access to more people than ever before.

Associate Professor Norman Li of Singapore Management University (SMU), whose research interests include mate preferences and mate value, said: “We would like to find somebody who we think is a really good choice, but when we have so much of a selection, it's almost impossible to find somebody who is better than all the other ones.”

The associate professor of psychology added: “There is currently a whole population of people who are interested in finding someone, but not quite finding someone that they are satisfied with. Everybody feels this way, and so (they) just feel they are not meeting enough quality people.”

While he agreed that working Singaporeans lead busy lives, he questioned how much of that "busyness" is necessary.

“What do they do with their free time? They are looking at their phones instead of meeting people,” he observed. “We make our lives busier than it needs to be.”

Ms Violet Lim, the chief executive officer of dating app LunchClick, said that after a few weeks or months of unsuccessfully trying to meet a partner, “swiping and chatting can become like work” for singles and they will “face dating fatigue”.

Assoc Prof Li said that singles who meet someone online should try to meet the other party in person as soon as possible, instead of “chatting with hundreds of people” all the time and never meeting anybody.

Ms Lim added that dating is a numbers game and singles should, at the very least, put themselves “out there” to meet new people and widen their social circle.

She suggested: “To not waste time and have too many trials and errors, why not improve yourself just as you would upgrade yourself for a job or promotion?” 

Singles could explore seeing a dating coach or go for self-enrichment courses to build better relationships and increase their chances of success, she said.