Working two jobs, sacrificing career: These parents go all out to support their children’s football dreams

Amid Covid-19, instead of travelling abroad for a module called Go-Far (Going Overseas for Advanced Reporting), 14 journalism students from Nanyang Technological University focused on Singapore's national football project to qualify for the 2034 World Cup. The Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information undergraduates reported on what it will take to raise excitement and the standard of the sport here. This article is the first of three that TODAY will be running.

In Singapore where academic excellence is often emphasised, some parents stand out for going all out to support their children’s football dreams. Ms Jenny Tan and Mr Affendi Bisri are two of them.

SINGAPORE — Ms Jenny Tan, 45, juggles two jobs and runs the household, but is clear about one thing: Her daughters’ football dreams come first.

So she reworks her life to fit and provide for the schedules of Chloe Koh, 14, and Celine Koh, 11, who both train with the Lion City Sailors football academy and respective Under-16 and Under-14 national teams. They train as often as four to seven times a week.

A former student athlete herself, Ms Tan believes that playing a sport can help relieve stress, so even when Chloe sat for her PSLE, she continued to attend her training sessions five times a week.

Ms Tan recalled how other parents would ask why she allowed Chloe to play football then, but she would always say that it is impossible to study round the clock.

“All work and no play makes you dull,” said the mother of two with a laugh.

In February 2021, Ms Tan returned to work after 10 years as a stay-home mum. She is a library assistant at Red Swastika School, and sells crocheted animals for extra income to support her girls.

She crochets as much as 10 hours a day. “Sometimes I have to reject orders because I simply don’t have the time to finish them all,” she said.

Her small business earns her around S$200 of extra income each month, bolstering the S$1,500 she earns from her day job.

The moonlighting is necessary, says Ms Tan. Besides paying for their living expenses, she needs S$300 every three months for the girls’ football academy training. Before the pandemic, she paid an additional $600 every six months or so for the girls to participate in competitions.

Working two jobs, Ms Tan is no longer able to watch their training and matches, which she would never miss in the past.

“It’s a huge blow, because these are moments I treasure that helped me form a close bond with my girls.”

Instead, she shows her support for them with the little things, such as washing their football kits and waking up at 5am to drop the girls off at school.

Ms Tan is in the middle of a divorce and the legal fees have cost her S$5,000 to date. She hopes to gain sole custody of her children.

The family gets a hint of their old life on weekends, when Ms Tan takes the girls for training, and sometimes stays on to cheer and take videos.

She knows her daughters’ teammates by name, and during their water breaks, she chats with them and shares a laugh or two.

“I’ll cheer for the other girls as loudly as I would for my own children because not everyone’s parents are free to come down for the games or training,” Ms Tan said.

When training ended at 10.30am on a Saturday, Ms Tan was the only mother among fathers picking up their daughters.

“To me, it’s not about whether they have a future in football. It’s about the passion that keeps them going and doing what they do,” said Ms Tan on her girls wanting to play professionally.

FAMILY COMES FIRST

Mr Affendi Bisri, 42, rejected four job offers with greater promotion prospects to spend more time with his two children — Nadia, 15, and Nazhan, 14 — mostly by driving them to and from football training.

The children train an average of three times a week. They both train with academies, but Nadia attends school and Under-16 national team training sessions while Nazhan trains with the Tampines Rovers youth team.

His current job, as a work accident claims investigator with the Ministry of Manpower, allows him flexible working hours and understanding supervisors.

“Choosing to further my career would mean I would lose all of this flexibility and get busier, leaving me with less time to spend with my family,” said Mr Affendi.

He always stays to watch his children train after dropping them off. Even on busy days when he has errands to run, Mr Affendi makes it a point to watch at least 30 minutes of their training.

“So when I ask them about training, I can relate easily. If they had a rough day, I know exactly what happened, or if they accomplished something they are proud of, I was there to see it and celebrate with them.”

After doing this for five years now, Mr Affendi has his personal favourite training site — Our Tampines Hub. After dropping Nazhan off, Mr Affendi parks the car and heads up to Tampines Regional Library, where there are sofas that overlook the field.

“I’ll just grab a magazine and pretend to read it while watching Nazhan train.”

But hitting pause in his career progression meant that his wife, Ms Siti Raudhah Ishak, needed to work harder at her job to keep the family finances stable. Ms Raudhah, 42, is a Malay language teacher at Valour Primary School and a football fan.

Both parents encourage their children to play, but are wary about the future of professional footballers in Singapore.

Mr Affendi said Nadia has expressed her dreams of playing professionally. “The local women’s football scene probably needs about 20-25 more years to grow, but that wouldn’t be Nadia’s time anymore.”

But after reading about the two Singaporean girls — Putri Nur Syaliza Sazali and Yasmin Namira Mohammad Yusman — who snagged overseas scholarships to the United States earlier this year, it has become Nadia’s goal as well, he said.

Ms Raudhah said: “I’m fine with it if they want to become professional footballers. They just have to show me that they have a realistic backup plan in place and can prove that they will still be good Muslims. Ultimately our parenting philosophy is to just give them as many opportunities as we can and guide them in their chosen paths,” she said.

Mr Affendi said: “Family is the most important thing to us, so things like money and career will always come second to our children.”