NEW YORK — Some research suggests that money-related disagreements among married couples tend to be more intense than arguments about other topics, and are less likely to be resolved.

I talked to experts about four common communication missteps.

ASSUMING YOU HAVE THE SAME VALUES. We tend to internalise financial lessons from our families, said Dr Lisa Marie Bobby, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

But conflicts arise when partners assume that their point of view is the only one instead of exploring each other’s financial stories.

To better understand where your partner is coming from, start with a broad question like “What money lessons did you learn growing up?”

For instance, if your parent lost his or her job several times, you might have grown up believing that saving money is the ultimate priority.

NOT CHECKING IN. Often, one partner in a relationship becomes the default money manager, said Ms Jillian Knight, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

While that works for many couples, she believes both partners should understand a few basics: How much money is coming in and going out? Where is the money and how can I access it? What are our financial goals?

Couples should schedule regular sit-downs to check in on how things are going and prepare for any big expenditures coming up. Rather than attempting to discuss everything in one session, make financial communication a regular part of your relationship — once a week is ideal.

LETTING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS FIZZLE. Because financial conversations can escalate into arguments, couples sometimes drop the subject to decompress, said Ms LaQueshia Clemons, a licensed clinical social worker.

But instead of intentionally returning to the topic later, they ignore it until the issue comes up again. It is essential to loop back afterward, ideally, within 24 hours, she said. Otherwise disagreements can go unresolved and resentments can simmer.

FOCUSING ONLY ON SCARCITY. Despite the financial stresses many couples face, having playful conversations about money can help, said Dr Megan McCoy, an assistant professor in the personal financial planning department at Kansas State University.

For example: Twice a year, Dr McCoy and her husband buy a Powerball ticket and spend a date night talking about what they would do if they won.

Would they travel more, or pay someone to take on certain chores? Perhaps, then, they might start saving more for a vacation or talking about redistributing the domestic load.

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.