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When keyboard warriors mock the dead and cross a line

Five people dead. One severely burnt. The Tanjong Pagar car crash was the news that most of us were talking about this Chinese New Year. In real life, we would offer our condolences and prayers. Perhaps due to the speed at which the internet has taken over our lives that we haven’t had time to establish social decorum, the comments on the internet were nasty.

Offerings left at the site of a car crash at 37 Tanjong Pagar Road that killed five people.

Offerings left at the site of a car crash at 37 Tanjong Pagar Road that killed five people.

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Five people dead. One severely burnt.

The Tanjong Pagar car crash was the news that most of us were talking about this Chinese New Year. 

An absolute tragedy. The story of the fiancee risking her life to save her beau was poignant.

In real life, we would offer our condolences and prayers. Perhaps due to the speed at which the internet has taken over our lives that we haven’t had time to establish social decorum, the comments on the internet were nasty.

“They deserve it”, “another BMW driver”, “serves them right” — these are just some of the milder comments online on this incident.

Come on, no one deserves to die. At least it is not our prerogative to decide if someone deserves to.

We don’t even know them.

We would not want strangers commenting that our loved ones “deserve” to die even if they had done something they shouldn’t. In return, we need to mind our words when we are online.

A couple of years ago, I had my student in junior college submit a column to a newspaper. When it was published, it was supposed to be an exciting moment for her.

Imagine, seeing your very first byline! That kind of encouragement could inspire someone to go into writing, do better for the subject or simply make the person’s day.

Unfortunately, keyboard warriors marred the experience for her, criticising her for her views, with some making very personal and uncalled for attacks on her.

A group of friends was once featured in a newspaper article about a business venture they had.

Online users started judging them based on their nationality and looks. Unfamiliar with the toxicity of the net, my friends were left distraught for a while, wondering what they had done wrong and questioning if the business decision was the right one.

Of course, that’s the internet. We shouldn’t expect more from it and we should be strong.

Shrouded by the cloak of anonymity, the meekest people can voice their worst thoughts online because it feels less personal to diss people they don’t know and there are seemingly no consequences.

This is not new. In the early 2000s, when I was a part-time radio presenter, listeners would sometimes call in to criticise my newsreading, no holds barred. It was impersonal and to them, I was just a voice on the radio.

I took the comments in stride because they were not wrong. I would call them up and thank them for their feedback, acknowledging I had room for improvement.

The interesting thing was these “nasty” listeners would behave totally differently on the phone when they were talking to me, a real person.

The tone became polite and they were apologetic, even though I was not offended.

This is similar to the internet. Online users often do not realise they are targeting real people when they make vile remarks.

Stephen Ferris, an Irish rugby player, recently called for keyboard warriors to be banned, as their venomous words affect the mental health of players and their family. It is akin to cyber bullying.

A 2018 survey on cyber bullying commissioned by Mediacorp’s Talking Point found that in Singapore, about 63 percent of the 353 youths surveyed – largely in the 13 to 19 age group — have been both a victim and a bully in the social media space.

I am thick-skinned and pretty sharp-tongued myself so I don’t take online comments seriously, except when they are constructive. My years in the media had trained me to take myself less seriously.

One commenter to my last opinion piece in TODAY (about my wishlist for Singapore education this year) claimed that I was a Malaysian even though it’s untrue and has absolutely nothing to do with my stand in the article. (I later found out there’s a Malaysian politician called Lim Yi Wei, which is slightly different from my name.)

I simply laughed at the mediocrity of the comments and shrugged it off. But not everyone is as thick-skinned as I am.

I was concerned my 17-year-old student might be hurt if she read the online messages so I had to gently warn her that there was a myriad of comments out there in the harsh real world and not to take heed of them.

The families of the deceased driver and passengers in the Tanjong Pagar crash certainly do not need unsolicited comments about their children when they are mourning their demise.

There was once a report of another case of death on the papers. The keyboard warriors started to speculate how the deceased must have committed suicide or was at his wits’ ends.

I recall thinking that it must have been simple to type those comments because the keyboard warriors are distant from the parties involved. We do not know the victims so it does not hurt us to criticise.

But what if we are relatives of the deceased? Would we have said the same thing? 

What really annoys me are the strawman arguments and the spread of xenophobia via these keyboard warriors.

Whenever there’s news about a foreigner getting a job in Singapore, regardless of the merits, there will be comments about whether the person had served his National Service.

To be sure, I am not an angel myself. I tell my neighbours off when they are noisy and I definitely had made unnecessary comments about people I read about. It is easy to judge others but I am trying to change, trying to follow what I preach, especially when:

  1. We often do not know the full story.

  2. We do not know the people involved. When we are merely watching from the sidelines, it is always easier to judge.

Perhaps, the rule of thumb should be: If we are not going to say it to the face of the person involved or if we would not like to be at the receiving end of this comment, we probably should not have said it. Or rather, think before we type.

We are already living in a very sad world today — Covid-19 with its new strains, climate change threatening to drown cities such as Venice and people losing their jobs amid the crisis.

It might be an easy way to let off steam online in this stressful world. It is not illegal to make such comments and there is of course freedom of speech, but let’s try not to do it at the expense of others, especially to those who are grieving.

That would not just be lacking in empathy but also very unkind.

If we are feeling lonely at home in front of the computer, pick up the phone today and call a friend. Use our SkillsFuture Credit to learn a new skill. Or download Tinder to make a new friend.

Mocking the dead shouldn’t be a way to make ourselves feel better.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Lim Wei Yi is the co-founder of education centre Study Room. A former journalist, he also teaches at tertiary institutions.

Related topics

internet social media cyber bullying keyboard warrior

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