SINGAPORE — A recent report that just about half of the parents in Singapore ask their children about schoolwork at least weekly has sparked discussions online about how concerned parents are for their children, but some who spoke to TODAY said it is not that they do not care about their teenagers' studies.

Eight parents who were interviewed agreed that they are more hands off once their children enter secondary school, but there is a range of reasons for this. Some want to encourage their children to be more independent, while others admitted that they do not feel that they are capable enough to help their children with their more complex homework.

The Programme for International Student Assessment (Pisa) 2022, which polls 15-year-old students in order to assess education systems worldwide, found that 49 per cent of parents in Singapore take an interest in what their children are learning weekly — less than the global average of 66 per cent. 

A press release by the Ministry of Education (MOE) in response to the survey stated that students here perceived their parents as being “less supportive” than other polled countries, and that just 47 per cent of students talked to their parents about problems at school at least once a week. 

The Paris-based Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) does this global survey every three years — disrupted recently by the Covid-19 pandemic — and tests 15-year-old students’ knowledge in mathematics, reading and science.

The 2022 one covered 81 countries and regions, involving 690,000 students. Singapore's cohort for the survey were 6,606 students across all 149 secondary schools and 15 private schools here.

OECD said of the findings: “Parents are the first educators of children. However, sending them off to school should not be the end of parental involvement.”

In most education systems, parental involvement in students’ learning “decreased substantially” from 2018, it added.

This is even though high-performing students who reported eating regular meals with their families and whose family members spent time talking to them regularly tested better across OECD countries.

Discussion online in Singapore has suggested that parents here may be personally less involved in their child’s learning because they were too busy or they relied on tuition teachers to keep their child on track academically. 

Some of these suggestions may not be far off the mark it seems, because the parents who spoke to TODAY said that they preferred to leave it to tutors and schoolteachers to guide their children with homework, while they themselves focused on their child’s emotional and mental well-being. 

GROWING INDEPENDENCE

The parents said that they were much less involved in directly helping their child with schoolwork once the children entered secondary school and they are expected to be more independent.

Ms Jackie Yu, 50, a public relations professional who has a 16-year-old son, said that she checked with him daily when he was in the early years of primary school, by asking what homework was assigned and doing spelling practices together. 

After he entered secondary school, she would ask him about his tests and projects but no longer helped him with the schoolwork directly. 

For banker Vedha Giri, 48, and civil servant Archita Biswas, 40, they said that the transition to secondary school changes the way parents are able to get involved in their child’s education. 

Since the couple's daughter started secondary school, Mr Giri has noticed that parents were being kept “at arms’ length” when it comes to school matters, because communication with teachers is often limited to more administrative matters. 

As schools want children to be independent, parents receive less updates, unlike in primary school where they can check daily on the children's assignments through online channels for the classes, he added. 

Ms Archita said that it is common to see teenagers, once they are in secondary school, to not share much with their parents about their studies even when prompted. 

“She will inform you at dinner which boy is seeing which girl and other things in detail, but when it comes to studies or any serious matter, it will be very superficial.” 

Furthermore, Ms Archita added, as students directly communicate via WhatApp with teachers and homework is now often online, parents are less able to monitor their schoolwork and will know only as much as the child is willing to share.

Ms Joy Leong, 54, a homemaker with three children, “distanced” herself from “hand-holding” her son's studies, she said, because she wanted him to learn how to study independently since he was “all grown up”. 

“To know how to study on your own is a very essential skill, and if we never let go, they’ll have a hard time learning it.”

HOMEWORK BEYOND THEIR KNOWLEDGE

Some parents said that the “complex” nature of their child’s schoolwork, with different subjects and syllabi than what they may be personally familiar with when they were in school last time, is also a barrier.

Although Ms Leong was heavily involved in her son’s literature studies when he struggled with the subject, she lacked the confidence to help in other subjects such as mathematics because the syllabi has changed.

When her 14-year-old son took on computer science as a subject, she cautioned him that the rest of the family had no experience with the subject. 

She told him: “Me, papa, jie jie (older sister) and gor gor (older brother) won’t be able to help you with this subject — you’re on your own.”

Ms Yu also said that she now relies on tuition teachers for support because her 16-year-old's school work is now too “cheem” (complex or complicated) for her to understand. 

“The curriculum is beyond me, so I definitely can’t be as involved in the schoolwork as a tutor or teacher. As a parent, I can only provide encouragement and concern,” she added.

'OUTSOURCING' TEACHING 

Most of the parents interviewed said that they have placed their children in some form of tuition and the tutors are the ones guiding their children’s studies. 

Mr CP Chua, a 52-year old teacher who declined to give his full name because he had not sought his employer’s approval to comment, said that busy parents from dual-income households may approach their child’s studies with a “lighter touch” and check in only when examinations are near. 

Agreeing, Ms Jenny Lim, a 56-year-old retiree who has a 17-year-old child, said that many busy parents here “overly outsource” the teaching of their children to tutors because there is “stress” on parents and students to achieve results.

Even though parents are expected to guide their children and ensure that their grades improve, they place high expectations on teachers and tutors for their children’s performance, and will even be disappointed with the teachers and tutors if their children’s results are not as desired, Ms Lim added. 

TODAY reported last year on the responsibilities of parents and teachers when it came to not just keeping an eye on their children's studies but also in disciplinary matters, where parents' involvement in aspects of their children's school life had been debated.

Teachers, who were already stressed from handling classroom duties, said that parents expected them to be "surrogate parents" to their children.

SUPPORT IN OTHER WAYS 

On the back of Pisa's findings, some of the parents said that being involved in their child’s school life goes beyond caring about academic performance to include having conversations with their children about their overall well-being, which is important. 

There are times when their children may perceive questions about their school work as "nagging", Ms Leong said, which was what she thought her own parents were like until she became a parent herself.

For Ms Yu, she regularly asks her son about his friends and school life, whether he is happy and why he likes or dislikes certain subjects.

Mr Kenneth Lee, 51, an engineer with two teenage daughters, said that he does not do any "teaching" because he learned that parenting and teaching are "two different skill sets”. 

He celebrates his children's achievements but also aims to be “less prescriptive” when they do not perform, listening to what support his children need. 

“I focus more on play and spending good time together. I try learning about what is in their world, and who are they mixing with… It will be daunting if every conversation is about studies.”